scared, could really use some support

Lucy - posted on 02/26/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I have just found out I am pregnant I am 9 weeks 2 days, my period is irregular and have just gotten off of the IUD, I was drinking quite frequently last month and have had two binge drinking experiences this month and have been under a lot of stress. After fighting with my boyfriend, it is an incredibly negative and toxic environment, which I am going to end very soon. I am terrified to have a baby by a man I can't stand, and what happens if I have harmed it. I was planning on going back to school, but how can I afford a child and schooling all on my own. I feel so lost, not to mention I already have two children which are finally in school 5 &6, so I thought it was a great opportunity for me to go back as well.



I am not sure whether it is the right time for me to have a child, if it is wrong or unfair of me to bring a child into this world without a father and without me being in a proper financial situation.



Help please, I could really use advice. I was hoping to simplify my life this year, not complicate it. I want an honourable equal relationship that will set a wonderful example for my two children, I am not sure how it will look not being with either fathers and having 3 children with two different fathers. I am really sensitive right now, so please be gentle, not sure I can handle anymore heart break :(

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Neva - posted on 02/26/2012

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Wow, it does sound like you are really stressed. My first suggestion would be to find a good counselor to talk to. A crisis pregnancy hot line would be a good start. You don't want to make any big decisions while you are so stressed. About the alcohol, yes it is not good to drink when you are pregnant at any time, but studies have shown that drinking causes the most damage towards the end of the 1st trimester. Your drinking was very early on and you should stop now. Also I think a counselor could help you cope with stress in a better way than through drinking. Drinking to cope only makes every situation worse, not only for you, but for your other children as well. I can't tell you what to do, but I know that it is possible to have small children and go to school at the same time. I did it with 3 children. There is usually financial aid available and even government assistance is a temporary option while you get and education to make your life better. You might not have made the best decisions in the past, but you can start making good ones now. Please speak with a counselor.

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Bonnie - posted on 02/27/2012

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A counselor would be nice. Not to make a decision for you as the final decision will be yours to make as to what is best, but just to know your options. Sometimes just hearing from someone else who doesn't know you or isn't related to you in any way, helps a long way.



There are many moms out there who have had experiences with alcohol before they found out they were pregnant and their babies turned out just fine. Try to stay on the positive side.

Stifler's - posted on 02/27/2012

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It won't be easy either way :( I agree that you probably do need to see a counsellor to help you deal with whatever you decide.

Alicia - posted on 02/27/2012

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I agree as well to maybe see a counselor. There is a lot going on right now for you and it will be ok. There are ways to get things done. Check on-line for some resources to use while you need them WIC or Welfare or something of that sort. You might be able to get government Pell grant that will pay for most if not all of your college because you are a single mom (I dont know if that is state wide or only in MO).



As far as your kids...I dont think anyone ever plans on having babies then no daddy or mommy, but as long as the kids see you happy, they will be happy.



Good luck to you, take life one moment at a time.

HANNAH - posted on 02/26/2012

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If your two children are happy and healthy Then im sure your third would be as well . WE are Women hear us roar you can do anything you set your mind to .LIft your head up any decision you make is right because is whats best for you an your family . Good luck

Brittney - posted on 02/26/2012

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I agree, a counselor or even a best friend can help you right now. You need someone you can relate to and talk freely with to get support and help you along the way. You can still go back to school, there are daycare at most colleges, online classes, and night classes. They will work with you so you can get a great job and provide for your family.



I wont tell you what to do, just take a look at all your options and think through them carefully. At this time you need to surround yourself with people who care about you.





I wish you the best and if you want to talk I'm always on to help. Just shoot me a message, whenever. :)



-Brittney

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