Scared for my kids

Angelina - posted on 11/07/2013 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I have been divorced for a year now seperated for two. I have two children boy 10 a girl 7. When we first seperated two years ago he had introduced a new woman and her kids to my children a week after I had moved out and she was around for 9 months. I found out she was not so nice to my son. Well shortly after our divorce I went back to him. He is an alcoholic and has many issues now but promised me everything if I went back to him. Well.....he was worse so I had to leave again. I just recently found out he is seeing a 19yrs old girl who's is pretty dysfunctional. He had her around my kids once for a whole weekend and lies to them and says she is just a friend. He made sure it seemed like that because he had her around when it was a group of people. Not to mention he has dysfunctional new friends too. He is 35 and acts so immature. When he has a woman he is not involved much but if he is alone tries some what to be. He is like a roller coaster. He always has to have people around when he is with my kids or he is miserable it seems like. My kids know diff that this girl is more then a friend because he pays more attention to her when she was around then them. My oldest really gets it. I'm worried she maybe around more and I know she is pretty messed up and I had question my kids about her when they brought her up because he won't communicate with me but now I know its wrong. He even tries to tell me he is not dating her but I know he is. When I found out what type of person she was I freaked and told my kids to never go anywhere alone with her and not to trust her because she is bad news. I feel horrible now saying this but I'm so scared for their safty. I know their dad loves them but his partying and drinking takes away all his judgement and he just doesn't care anymore one of the biggest reason why we are not together anymore. He passes out on them a lot and drinks a lot when they are around and I'm worried one day she is going to be around and something g bad will happen or she will teach them things not appropriate. I don't want them to think the kind of person she is is normal. I feel like I over stepped my boundaries but there is no reasoning with him. I'm just scared!

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Angelina - posted on 11/07/2013

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Thanks everyone for your in put. I understand what you all are saying. I know unless I have solid proof there is nothing I can do but I just wish I had a way to teach my kids right and wrong without bad mouthing him. I hope things get better but I doubt it. Thank you

Ev - posted on 11/07/2013

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I am talking about the custody order and you can not tell him who he can have at his home, who he goes to visit if he has the kids, and so on. You can request that he not live with someone he is not married to if it is not already in the custody order. But you have to prove that people are a danger to your children to have their presence not allowed around them.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/07/2013

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A court order that is given by a judge. Get an attorney, have your custody/support orders reviewed, tell them what you would like the amended version to be.

you will need factual evidence of any and all dangers to your kids. You will need photos, other witnesses, etc.

Angelina - posted on 11/07/2013

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All mine states is they can't call anyone mom and if I'm available they can not be left with anyone else. What can I do with who he is with? What kind of court order are u talking about?

Ev - posted on 11/07/2013

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I agree with Shawnn on this one. Also, unless you can prove her to be a danger to the kids with documentation such as police reports, criminal acts that she was sent to jail for, proof of drug use or drinking and doing things with the kids that puts them in danger then there is not much you can do until its in court papers that she is not allowed around them. But you can not dictate what goes on in his house and that is hard to deal with unless like I said you have definite proof she is unfit to be around your kids.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/07/2013

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What are your court orders regarding visitation/custody, and the presence of others of the opposite sex when kids are present?

If you don't have court orders, GET THEM.

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