Amanda - posted on 05/19/2015 ( 7 moms have responded )
I am the mother to a 2 year old and a ste mother to a 5 year old, I have been in her life since she was 1. Her mother was in and out of her life and she has been traumatized by this which is completely understandable. What I don't understand is the way she acts towards herself and other people. Her mother gets her eveything other Thursday-Monday and has been doing well with getting her every time she is supposed too. Her mother has a 1 year old as well. We had 50/50 custody by the time Abby was around 2 and received full custody not long after. We have always dealt with things that were not normal to me atleast, my fiance had ADD/ADHD and still deals with it, without meds. Even before Kennedy was born Abby had a hard time sleeping, listening, playing, being nice to other kids, dealing with her emotions, etc. After Kennedy was born we would make time for Abby, have play dates with just her, because we didn't want her to feel left out and she wasn't. She has always been the type of child who craves attention and can NEVER get enough, even if it's bad attention.
She has punched, and broken, my friends little boys nose who is the same age as her. They were 3 at the time. She has choked kids at the babysitters. But most of all she hurts Kennedy on a daily basis. I could understand if Kennedy was provoking things, siblings fight, but 95% of the time it's like something snaps in her and she gets an evil look in the middle of playing and does something. When Kennedy was 6 months old she pushed Kennedy off the couch (while she was sleeping) into the coffee table and gave her a bloody nose. She has pushed her into walls, slapped her, grabbed her and just the other day she held a pillow over her face. This is all done right in front of us and she has no remorse afterwards and says she doesn't know why she did it. She also hurts herself. She has bitten herself to the point it draws blood, scratched herself open, tried to pull a boiling pot of water down on herself, tried to jump out a window and the list goes on.
Mentally she can be fine one minute and freaking out the next but it's almost like all of her emotions are fake, when she's happy she doesn't really seem happy, crying for her is usually fake, she feels no pain. She is not attached to ANYTHING, I have gone as far to remove every single toy from her room and she helped me bag them up. She destroys any toy she does get. She is self conscious, saying she wished she looked like other little girls. She's manipulatjve, and constantly lies. You are unable to joke with her at all or she has a breakdown. We are unable to reward her with anything because she does not care about anything, being good to get something is not worth it to her. She is nearly impossible to discipline, when we put her in the corner she pees herself everytime, we have ignored her but it continues. Smacking is pointless because she does not care, she laughs and turns around and does the same thing. She does not care about anyone else's feelings and it's terrifying to be u Der the same roof sometimes. She has come I to our bedroom and stared at us while we were sleeping, filled Kennedys crib either food and water when she was an infant, while we were sleeping
Abby has been saying things like "I hate my life", "I don't want to be like this", "somethings wrong with my head" for years..
She has been to numerous counselors and psychiatrists who either seem to want to push meds or see nothing wrong because Abby knows how to play them. When she was 4 she was put on 5 MG of Ritalin and by the time I put an end to it they had her on 40 MG, it did not phase her. She went to another counselor who saw the issues she had but unfortunately was not certified to prescribe meds as he thought she needed them.
Her father, mother and I are at ours wits end, we do not know what to do anymore. We our concerned for the safety of Abby as well as our other children and the children at the babysitters. She starts school in August and although she is very smart (too smart for her own age) I don't feel that she will excel and will instead be sent home for doing terrible things.
At this point we have thought about admitting her or giving custody to her grandmother, as there is no other children that she can hurt there. We do not want to give up on her but rather get the help that she needs but it seems we have run into roadblocks every step of the way especially because of her age but she needs help. Has anyone else gone through this. Advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.