Ms - posted on 08/18/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )
I was scheduled for a c section yesterday due to a breech baby but couldn't bring myself to go in. I was due on Friday. The baby is not in distress. I guess I wasn't mentally prepared for it. When my doc confirmed that I needed one I cried right in his office! I threw up when he left the room. I told him in the beginning that was my worst fear! Of course, you never know what will happen with each pregnancy. I have had two vaginal births and was expecting this one to be as well.
The doc and nurses act like it's no big deal but to me it's terrifying!! They don't have to lay there strapped down while being cut open all while you're wide awake!! It's routine for them cus they do it everyday. I have high anxiety when it comes to procedures. Several years ago I had to take 3 Valiums just to be calm enough to lay down for a MRI! There was no pain involved but I was scared to death!! When I needed my wisdom teeth out same thing. I nervous wreck!! The Nitrous Oxide(happy gas) was a life saver!! It took all my worry and concern away. They could have removed all my teeth and I wouldn't have cared less, LOL I asked the doc if I could use it for the c section and he kind of chuckled. Basically, he said no it's too dangerous. But if I panic they will have to put me to sleep. I just don't see how a lil gas to calm my nerves can be worse than being put to sleep. Plus the gas only last as long as you breath it in. When you remove the mask you are back to normal.
So I have researched c sections and bookmarked so many helpful sights BUT I still haven't come to terms with it. Please note this is NOT about feeling like I'm missing a real birth, or feeling less than a woman etc. I had two successful vaginal births so I know I can do it if the baby was in the right position. This is about FEAR of surgery and recovery!! With a vaginal I was up and pretty much back to normal after a few hours.
Oh and I tried a few things to get the baby to turn but so far nothing. I even had the ECV done and it wasn't successful. Probably because I didn't find out the baby was breech until 38+4 had it done at 39 weeks. She moved a lil then went right back to a transverse breech position. I believe her feet are near my pelvis, head near my right rib, her spine runs across my belly button. Thank God I just to happen to see another doc and he did a quick check and said she's breech. I couldn't believe it!! Had he not done that I would have never known until delivery! My regular doc who is supposed to be one of the best in my city kept saying the tush was up where her head is!
So, right now I need POSITIVE stories. I have read the good and the bad. How do you make peace with it and bring yourself to go in for the c section. I know I can't carry her forever but he did give me the option of waiting until I start labor but that's risky as well. Here are my major fears:
Pain from the needle from the spinal. It possibly going wrong and having spinal headaches afterwards. Or it not taking well and I feel them cutting me!
The catheter going in but most people say they do it after your numb. I don't want to feel it coming out either. Some say they felt it and some say they were too drugged up to feel it. I had one before and to me it was painful!!
The coldness in the surgery room. I don't think there is any way around that. one. lol
The shakes after the pain meds wear off.
The PAIN after surgery and trying to control it. I read that you just have to take your pain meds and not let the pain get ahead of you.
The first time getting out of bed and walking. Everyone says get prepared for it because it WILL hurt like hell!!
Being restricted and less mobile than a vaginal. Not being able to lift anything other than baby. I have a 38 lb toddler!
Pain from gas, from laughing, sneezing, etc.
The awful ride home and the bumps in the rode.
I guess pretty much everything about having a c section. I don't have much support and currently sleeping on the floor on an air mattress. I just don't see how I can recover properly in this situation. No I don't have any other options at this point.
Any reassuring thoughts please share and thanks for reading my long post!! :)