scared to leave my first son when I'm in the hospital with the 2nd!!

Shantel - posted on 09/03/2010 ( 26 moms have responded )

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Im pregannt and due October 5th and my son is 26 months old. Im ready for everything except leaving him with someone while im in the hospital for 5 days (i get a csection)... who have u left ur kids with? im thinking of staying in the hospital myself and letting my husband stay home with our son...my parents are local and would watch him but honestly i dont trust anyone for that amount of time!! help!!!

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Kathy - posted on 09/06/2010

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My daughter went to my MIL's when her brother was born. I sent my husband home the first night. I was fine being at the hospital alone with the baby the second time around. He was a phone call away. Honestly I was able to rest much easier the second time around because I "had been there, done that". Being alone was alright because I knew that soon, I wouldn't get that quiet, alone time with him. It was wonderful for bonding. My husband and daughter would come visit-sometimes my husband would come back and have dinner with me. We were there for 5 days even though I had him VBAC. He was jaundice. Between Grandmothers and my sister, my daughter had alot of people to hang with. Your son will be fine while you are in the hospital, your parents can make it fun for him. He can come and visit-which will be fun. Also, you can certainly send Dad home whenever you want so you can steal some one-on-one special bonding time. Good luck!

Erica - posted on 09/04/2010

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if you are worried about the other child in your parents home maybe one of them would agree to stay at your home with him the night in question.

[deleted account]

Sorry Shantel, I see now what you were trying to ask. I have left my daughter with each of her grandparents and I have a couple of friends I would trust to leave her with. I do understand why you wouldn't want to leave your child with your parents. Sometimes I wonder if my own mother would stick to my rules and parenting style. I think Erica's idea is a good one. Maybe if one of them stays with your son at your house without the other child it might be better? Good luck!

[deleted account]

In your situation I would leave him w/ his father. I fully trust my dad w/ my son (2.5 years), but they've still never been together for more than 5 hours.... On a side note... I was out of the hospital in 3 days after my c-section w/ my son. Would've been out in 2, but the ped wanted my son to stay the extra day, so we both stayed.

Shantel - posted on 09/04/2010

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No I am not planning on having my husband be in the hospital with me at all after the first day. Maybe I haven't explained myself because I see people are surprised that other people don't want to
Leave their kids with their parents.. This isn't unusual, I've seen it many times. My son does stay with people while I get my hair done and nails, run errands... My parents have a 5 year old that they let push my son around and they don't treat him As a grandson but as someone's kid. You wouldn't understand unless u went thru it, so your "not
To be rude but u don't trust your parents with your son?" comments didn't come
Off rude at all because you don't know me or the situation. I was asking who u leave your kids with, not to judge my relationship with my parents. Thanks so much for your concern tho. I'm thinking of leAving him with my
Parents the first night and my husband staying at home and doing father son things for the rest of the 4 days. We could afford full
Time help but I don't want someone else with my kids more than me.

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Jessica - posted on 05/12/2013

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I'm having my second next week I have plans for my dad to come in town and keep my son so my husband and my mom can help and stay with me, my mom also has to work. I really make a point to make both my parents and my son comfortable to keep him by themselves, I feel like its so good for a grandchild to have separate and strong relationships with my parents.

Jessica - posted on 05/12/2013

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You don't trust our parents to keep your child? You need to let them keep him more often, to have your parents in town but ot allow your child such a close relationship, take advantage of them being close, your child will thankyou for it, I promise:)

Roseanne - posted on 07/21/2012

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I feel the same! Unfortunately, my husband took his life shortly after i became pregnant, so i have been doing this on my own. My mom and i had a strained relationship but she came back into my life when it happened, was at the hospital when i had to say goodbye and since then, has helped me care for my 4 year old. she loves her granddaughter. I go in for a c section monday and i am terrified to be away from my oldest for days. I know she is in good hands but after what we went through, it's hard not to imagine the worst. I will probably be calling my moms a lot in between caring for the baby.

Diane - posted on 03/12/2011

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consider splitting the child care between several people. If dad needs to go to work all or part of the day have a friend or your parents watch him and then back home with dad as soon as he gets home from work. another option is to check with day homes in your area and see if any of them can fit him in for a week when dad is at work. do be prepared that they may not keep you in for 5 days i was in 3 for first and 4 days for second and only 2 for third (all c-sections). do make sure that whoever is watching him does bring him to visit you or you may have him mad at you when you do get home. also consider extra help when you get home as you will not be able to lift the 2yr old at all for 4-6 weeks, so prepare him by teaching him to climb into his bed, car seat ect. before baby 2 arrives

SUZANNE - posted on 03/12/2011

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Hiya I had my little girl by planned c-section and got pregnant agin pretty quick(it took 10 yrs to get 1st one) when she was 14 mths i had a placenta abruption and had to have emergency c-section within the hour. We took her to hubby's parents who took it in turns to sit beside her in travel cot all night. We nearly lost our newborn and myself that night and were in hospital for 9 days and my hubby looked after our 14 mth but took her to mother in laws in the day so he could work and take time off when we came home. Mother in law came on the bus to bring 14mth to see me every afternoon and hubby brought her every night whereby i changed her, gave her tea the nurses even let us bath her and cuddled her and got her to sleep whilst my hubby looked after newborn and changed her. We helped each other to have quality time as much as was possible. Let him look after your child and allow others to assist him whilst you having newborn its good bonding and allows him to see how hard it is. My girlies have a fantastic relationship with their dad and he still does loads of family and quality things with them. Best of luck.

Julie - posted on 11/07/2010

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I had not been away from my two year old for more than a few hours at a time when I went in for my second. I only had three days with a c-section and he stayed with grandma and had a great time. He came to see us at the hospital and though I don't think he understood what was really going on, he did fine with her. It was like a special treat for him plus I think she fed him lots of jelly beans!

Cathy - posted on 09/06/2010

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Get your hubby to stay with him and let your parents help where they can,I had the same problem,I have no family here,and hubby had to stay home with eldest son as I had to have an emergency c-section and my friends were great, and I only stayed for three days in hospital. i promises my midwife that i will be good and hubby was home with me for two weeks,which was great.Just take a breather and let your family help you. all the best.

Angie - posted on 09/06/2010

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I'm sure your husband can handle this. Why don't you trust him? There's really no reason for your husband to stay with you at the hospital the entire time. A visit from him in the evening while your parents care for your first child should be sufficient. Your son will be fine.

[deleted account]

My parents didn't even come out to see my 2nd until he was over a month old! My 1st stayed over at the neighbor's who we've known for 8 yrs and our kids have played since our 1st was born :) If you got a g/f who you have playdates with and that would make you more comfortable I'd go that route! My friend just had her baby and her parents were not very helpful so I took her 2 year old home w/me and watched her the night after she had her new baby!

Farida - posted on 09/06/2010

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u shld trust yo parents as they r da close family n can't harm da baby also u will need their help once u have da new arrival. I trust ma parents with ma baby more than ma husband n believe me he is a great father.

User - posted on 09/06/2010

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My husband and I are considering flying one of our parents out to help us since they are all too far away to drive. Otherwise, we'll probably ask some of our church family or neighbors that our son is familiar with. I was only in the hospital 3 days with my first c-section. Best of luck!

Jac - posted on 09/06/2010

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Ill be leaving my daugher with Daddy, he can handle it im sure. But its normal to be worried about it because you dont know this new baby & your going to miss your son alot.

Simone - posted on 09/06/2010

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I had a 14 month old at home and began panicing at 7 months, I ended up leaving him with my in laws and my partner came to the hospital during the day and was there at his folks to my boy to bed. Its really hard and I didnt trust anyone either but it had to be done and the reception you get when you get home is wonderful

Jodi - posted on 09/06/2010

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Thanks for the clarification Shantel :)
I agree with Erica, maybe asking one of his grandparents to stay in your home with him. If they think this seems silly, maybe you can let them know that this is a big deal for your son, with you disappearing for a few days, and a new baby coming into the home, and there is enough change happening in his life right now, so having him in your home will be less unsettling for him, and one less change in his life he has to contend with.

Brandi - posted on 09/05/2010

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My son was 18 months old when my daughter was born and my hubby was there with me during labor and delivery, but he went home to get some sleep after that. My grandparents watched my son until my hubby went and got him after the baby was born. He brought him to the hospital to hang out with me and his baby sister and they went home at night. I was only there for 2 days, but I took advantage of the time by myself with the new baby and I let the nurse's take her for a little while at night between feedings so I could get some uninterrupted sleep. All in all it worked out for me so don't be afraid to ask for help, especially of those who are offering.

Julie - posted on 09/04/2010

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Five days in the hospital? WOW ! I didnt get to stay in the hospital five days :( the tossed me out in three!!!

Krystal - posted on 09/03/2010

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not being rude but i carnt belive u dont trust ur own mum with ur son.
i completely trust my mum and dad (step dad ) with my kids thay both stay over there 1 night aweek so it relly was not a prob leaveing reece (my older son) with nanny and grandad and i was in hospital for over a week and reece was only 13 months old . ive had 2 csection not pland but hay and when i had tyler (2nd son) reece would come and see me and i loved it asi could not see tyler is was relly ill when born so haveing reece there was relly good and me and my bf (the dad off my 2 son's) are planing on awer 3rd baby and i would not have a 2nd thout about leaveing the boys with my mum and dad

Amy - posted on 09/03/2010

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I completely trust my mom so I didn't have a problem having her come down and staying with our son while I was in the hospital. I didn't have a c-section so I was only in the hospital 2 nights. The day after I had the baby my son came to the hospital and spent most of the day with me and his new sister, he's 4. We played games and movies with him and at night he went back home to our house with grammie.

[deleted account]

Wow, you don't trust your parents with your 2 year old? What do you think might happen? If you can't leave him with them, how will you cope with school etc like Nicky said? You're got about a month before #2 is due. I'd suggest leaving your son with someone you trust for little while. Start small, 30min and work up to a few hours. You don't want to be worrying about this when you're at the hospital dealing with the csection and your new baby. He'll be fine.

[deleted account]

Oh Honey. I know how you feel but I also think to need to think ahead. When you have your second you will need a lot more help & a lot more rest so you will find that having other people who can help look after your son is a very good thing. At 26 months he is old enough to understand that it is only for a short time. He will have to stretch those apron strings eventually (Kindy, school, sports activities etc) & it is beter to start giving him a bit of a taste for it now when he is little than waiting until he is TOTALLY dependant on you and then forcing him to do it.

Jodi - posted on 09/03/2010

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My husband looked after the kids while I was in hospital. I'm confused, are you planning on your husband being with you in the hospital for the full 5 days??

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