Scared to send my kids to their dads on the weekend.

Lelia - posted on 01/16/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




Hello there. I have two girls ages 8 and 10. They are supposed to go to their dads every other weekend but hes been doing things that just bother me. Things that are unsafe for them, like stacking as he calls it. In which they sit on each others laps in the car and seat belt together. Everytime they come home saying that their dad did nothing with them and just pushed them to play with his gf's kids so the parents could get some alone time. He also sends them to walk to a park by themselves. He sends them to places with the next door neighbor which has older kids around 20's alone. Just the kids and the neighbor which ive never met. He only takes them for a little over 24 hours and sends them off with someone else? The kids are getting to a point where they dont want to do and he has to beg them or bribe them to go. Im really not sure what to do about it anymore. He says my rules dont count over there which i understand its his house his rules but he let the kids watch poltergeist alone and then my 8year old is scared for the next 3 days where she wont even go pee alone. He said its a pg movie. Im sorry but use ur head that movie isnt for little kids. Ugh I need some advice on this please!! Thank you for taking the time to read this!


Jodi - posted on 01/16/2014




Ok, the stacking is of concern - that IS a safety issue. You need to approach him and discuss this with him. However, the rest of it, I am not seeing safety issues, just you inability to control the situation.

Depending on where the park is and the area you live in, I wouldn't have a problem with an 8 and 10 year old playing in a park together (as I said, depends where it is).

And it doesn't matter if you know the neighbour. He is clearly sending them with an adult. Does he require that he knows everyone you leave your kids with? I know I never consulted my ex when I needed a babysitter.

Him sending them off somewhere else when he only has them 24 hours is not a safety concern. Sure, it makes him a piss poor parent, but not a safety concern.

Your rules DON'T count over there. That's right. His house, his rules. You can't control them. PG is parental guidance (not sure where you live, but here is is Parental Guidance for under 15s). That's doesn't mean the movies aren't suitable for children who are younger. He is obviously supervising the movie in some way - it's not like he dumped them in front of the TV and went out to the pub!. Hate to tell you, I have taken my 8 year old to see the Hobbit movies. She has watched the LOT trilogy. She copes with it quite fine because we discuss it - she knows it isn't real. Your kids are perfectly old enough to watch a PG under supervision and HE is the adult in charge when he has them, not you. Yes, you know your 8 year old better, and you know that she freaks out over movies - YOU would make the decision not to show her based on knowing her reaction. But he isn't you.

Unfortunately, the only thing I see that you have any say in is the seatbelt thing - the rest of it, you really do just have to suck it up.

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