Secondary Infertility

Jenny - posted on 02/09/2010 ( 71 moms have responded )

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I was looking to see if any mothers have had trouble concieving their second child. My husband and I have been trying for 20 months with no luck. Anyone else going through this? I have an appt with an infertilitly specialist in March.

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Jenny - posted on 02/09/2010

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I haven't had that experience, in fact I had rather the opposite, I had a hard time the first time and now I can't seem to stop! I've had three in four years. But I wanted to recommend a book I read when I was trying the first time that I thought was wonderful. I give it to all my friends. It's called "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" I learned a ton, and it gives to so much info to take with you to the fertility dr, so that you can really have an understanding of your body. It can give you a great start, not to neccessarily self-diagnose, but to know what to tell your dr so he can help you. Good luck!

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Liz - posted on 03/15/2010

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I've have 2 friends with secondary infertility. It has to be investigated sooner than later, unfortunately for my friends neither has had success. Best of luck to you

Gail - posted on 03/13/2010

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I only concieved every four years on my birthday. I was never on birth control and for some reason on my birthday it happened. Don't give up, I have three children who have grown to be wonderful adults. Good Luck !

Chelsea - posted on 03/12/2010

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Stress has a lot to do with concieving too, I think. If I'm are super stressed out, my body won't even think about getting pregnant.

Chelsea - posted on 03/12/2010

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I don't know why people always say you're more fertile after you have your first baby, because for me that's just now true. It took me 2 years of trying really hard to get pregnant. And well, after I had my little boy, I'm not on birth control but I'm also not pregnant- and its been almost 2 years.

Mary - posted on 03/12/2010

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Jenny - thanks for keeping us updated! Hope all goes well...blowing baby dust your way!

Anissa - posted on 03/12/2010

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Christina Allen - has your husband had a semen analysis? Sounds like it could be male factor that is causing your delay in conceiving your second. Getting tests done for both of you via a fertility specialist is the best way to go!



Wishing everyone lots of luck xo

Kate CP - posted on 03/12/2010

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Ditto. I get to go on Clomid in May if I don't fall pregnant by then. Your best bet is with the fertility specialist. Good luck, honey!

Kathleen - posted on 03/12/2010

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We had a real hard time having our second. We could get pregnant but I would continue to loose three babies at 9 13 and 14 weeks. When we finally gave it one more try my doctor put me on progesterone right a way and we had a successful pregnancy. We took for granted that we could just get pregnant again and when we couldn't it was very difficult. Switching doctors sounds like a good idea. There are many things that a doctor can suggest to help. I wish you all the best.

Lacey - posted on 03/12/2010

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Hi all...my husband and I are in the same boat. We had no trouble conceiving our first and have now been trying for over a year with no luck. We started the process of infertility and found out that I have hypothyroidism, which, in itself, could be the problem. I would suggest getting a thyroid test and also a prolactin (I have that problem too). Best of luck to everyone!

Aleta - posted on 03/12/2010

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Yes. It took us 7.5 yrs to get Isaiah and he just turned 5 yrs old this month. Will it ever happen? Hopefully in God's timing. The waiting is the hard part.

Kristien - posted on 03/12/2010

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I don't know if it it true that it is more difficult to get pregnant after a C-section. My 4th child was born by emergency C-section and we didn't seem to have any trouble getting pregnant again. Furthermore it was a very uneventful (read: easy) pregnancy and a VBAC birth without any problems.

Kristien - posted on 03/12/2010

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The main thing is to relax. The more you think about it the harder it seems to be to get pregnant. Also it is recommend not to have intercourse every day, thinking that may improve your chances of getting pregnant. When you have intercourse every day, the spermcount diminishes, so your chances are actually worsening. Hope this helps a little.

[deleted account]

im having the same the problem. with camron(my only child right now) i was with this guy for like 5 months or so and i got pregnant with her. now im with my husband of almost 2 years we have been trying to have another child but nothing has been working. so weve been lookin into infertiliy clinics and whatnot to see whats stoppin us. with camron i had a csection with her and ppl always tell me that its harder to get pregnant after that and i dont know if that true or not bc ive seen plenty of ppl have multiple births after a csection.

Connie - posted on 03/11/2010

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Hi, I experienced the same thing. I went to a fertility specialist and the first thing suggested was using an ovulation kit. We found that we werent usually having intercourse at the right time. Next, we went through dye testing to make sure nothing was blocked, Then my husband has to have his sperm tested, found that his sperm was a litttle on the weak side, but good. It still took some time. It took 1 round of sperm washing, alot of prayer, and a little giving up, but on the day of my peak ovulation, a roung of morning sex, and 1 injection of my husbands washed sperm, we concieved out second child, FINALLY! So we are still not sure who or what to thank, so we just thank GOD. But I will also say that my third and fourth children came to us with no struggle what so ever. They are actually only 14 1/2 months apart! I suppose that what we get for "not trying". Soooo....... Good Luck :)

Tracy - posted on 03/11/2010

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I had minimun trouble with #1 with meds from my OB/GYN. I got pg a week before my fertility dr. appt. #2 was much different, we spent over ayear with the fertility dr. After 2 failed IUIs, an ectopic pregnancy & a D&C, I got pg with my sweet boy. With #3, we were being proactive & starting treatment early, I my first appt I was pg. They are 21 mths apart.

Christin - posted on 03/11/2010

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I have had this exact same experience and my heart goes out to all of the ladies on here including you Jenny. Here is my story, unfortunately, I do not have any "magic advice" but perhaps just knowing you are not alone will help.

I got married when I was almost 28 and I was already desperate to get pregnant and feared that I would not. I was truly blessed when I got pregnant within two months of my marriage and had a wonderful uneventful c-section delivery resulting in a wonderful daughter.

I soon wanted another baby and we really never used birth control. I got my first period while nursing when my daughter was 7 months old and was thrilled to think that I might be adding a new baby to our family at any time. NOTHING HAPPENED! Like you, I was frustrated by people telling me that I already had one and so obviously it would happen, "just relax"! UGH!!!! I found my self in tears 1-1/2 yrs. into "trying" when I heard that a cousin was "accidentally" pregnant with her third! It just felt so unfair. I really wanted another child. I even went to doctor's and basically felt like they thought I was stupid for being upset because according to them there was nothing wrong.

Finally, after 18 months of "trying" and taking ovulation tests, I was pregnant. I was so thrilled. It was a difficult pregnancy and I had a very rough c-section delivery where it was discovered that due to the WEEKS of contractions, my uterus was beginning to rupture. It was a miracle that I had begged for my c-section one week early and they agreed. My baby and I could have died if it would have completely ruptured. We were so thankful and thought that we were done with this second tiny miracle.

When my second daughter was 5 months old my hubby went for a consultation for a vasectomy and I cried. I had agreed to this, what was my problem???? I talked to him about it and he agreed that we could start trying for baby number 3!!! I was so excited once again at the thoughts of adding to our family. NOTHING HAPPENED.

Three years later and I still was not pregnant and I was approaching 35! You know the age where you are deemed "advanced maternal age"! UGH!!! AGAIN! If I thought I received no sympathy for secondary infertility, I was definitely not going to get any for not getting pregnant with number 3! But my heart ached, I truly wanted that third child....I even had her name chosen. LOL My husband said, just go to the doctor and talk to them. It was then that I was given the RED light and told NO WAY! Due to my previous history of a near uterine rupture, I was now deemed "high risk" and advised NOT to get pregnant. My husband said, "oh go for a second opinion, they just don't want you pregnant b/c you are almost 35"! I did and the second opinion was the same. I felt a crushing saddness.

Three weeks later.....I was PREGNANT!!! I was sooo thrilled. I called the doctor and they said that we would deal with it. We did, I was on bed rest for 4 months! Finally delivered my "miracle baby" at 36 weeks. Five years later she is amazing and I thank God that we received that third little miracle.

During my c-section with her, the doc discovered that I was filled with scar tissue, tubes were completely blocked aside from a teeny tiny opening on one! She confirmed that our daughter truly was a miracle.

Three years after she was born I ended up with a total hysterectomy due to all of my internal issues. Anyway, I shared this long story in hopes of encouraging all of you. I know first hand how frustrating it is for people to tell you that it "will happen" and other silly things. When you are the one going through it, it is devastating! My heart goes out to all of you mommies who are trying and I pray that you too will receive your "miracle".

Blessings!

Deb - posted on 03/11/2010

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I conceived my first daughter with no problems - but the same as you - even though we tracked temps, did everything right - no go for #2. Went to see a fertillity guy - who thought perhaps adhesions due to my first being a c-section. He went in and cleared them through laproscopy - and we were pregnant within 3 months. Oh, and #3 was born 15 months after #2, and #4 was born a couple years after that - with no intervention needed. HTH !

Tina - posted on 03/11/2010

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i have not conceived a second time in ten years?? My son was born via IVF help but i was told i could definatley have another??? I'm still waiting??

Jenny - posted on 03/10/2010

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My husbands results are back, everything is normal. Sperm count, mobility, form, ect. So next month I'll be going in for a ultrasound, blood test, and hopefully a perscription of Clomid. I'm now on 21 months of trying to conceive our second child. (Remember...our first was a pleasent surprise)

Jenny - posted on 03/07/2010

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Consultation went well. Doctor said 92% of women who have trouble getting pregnant (whether its the fist or fifth time) simply need a boost. They have advised us that my husband will need to have a Semin Analysis first, I need to track my Basil Body Temp every morning and go back next month durning my cycle. At that time they will do a blood test and most likely perscribe Clomid. The semin analysis and BBT will determine how strong the perscription will need to be. And the bloodtest is to insure everything is in balance.

I will keep you posted as to the next step and what happens on my journey.

For those of you still waiting for your first or next child I would reccomend taking the next step. I got such a sense of relief after the consult, there really could be a simple (financially tangible) solution.

Hoping for the best....Thanks

Jenny - posted on 03/01/2010

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I have a Doctors Appt on Friday, For the ones wondering what typically happens after an infertility consult I will try and keep you posted.

Sarah - posted on 02/24/2010

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Usually most doctors won't take you seriously unless you've tried for a year, but sometimes they will take you seriously if you've tried over four months and you didn't have problems before. My children all took over two years to conceive, I don't ovulate regularly and you may need to take some small doses of Clomid to help regulate and help you get pregnant. If you want to be really helpful to your doctor, get a basal body temperature thermometer and take your temperature for a whole cycle every morning before you get out of bed and chart it. If you take that to your doctor they can see when and if you are ovulating and can help them know how best to help you.

Johanna - posted on 02/21/2010

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Wow . . . I'm actually responding to a threaded discussion in some online place . . . here's the deal: stop ready all of this stuff. Stop searching the Web for answers. I mean that nicely, of course.

Now read up: there exists such a thing as a Reproductive Endocrinologist. Find the Infertile Myrtle's in your area, get a referral to the best 1-3 near you and go in for a consult. Don't dick around with the OB/GYNs who put "infertility,' on their card.

Responding directly to your question: yes, I have heard that secondary infertility is on the rise. You're not alone. Good luck!

Laurie - posted on 02/20/2010

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I had a hard time getting pregnant with our 2nd. They did a dye test on me and my tubes were blocked. I had to have surgery to remove the blockage. The dye test is relatively simple and done in the office. They injected dye into my tubes to see if they were clear. You can watch it on the screen. I knew immediately the problem and why I wasn't getting pregnant. If you have been trying to have a baby longer than 2 years, then it's time to get a new dr.

Dawn - posted on 02/17/2010

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get plenty of rest and do not stress. stress acts like birth control in these situations. if you've conceived once it most likely is not an issue. i had secondary infertility with my second but eventually did conceive.

Shantel - posted on 02/15/2010

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my partner and i have ben trying for our second baby for 12 months now, i had the implanon in my arm after i had my first i think that is contributing to me not falling pregnant straight away, every1 keeps tellin me not to think about it and it will happen but how do u not think about it? im a bit lost too

Tammy - posted on 02/15/2010

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I had a 14 yr old and a 5 yr old before I got pregnant via IVF and have a beautiful 4 month old son- first try with IVF-mine was unexplained infertility- sperm had mobility and I have eggs- they just weren't connecting- Jenny- where do you live- if in Tampa I would highly suggest RMG or if you can Dr. Sher in Vegas is incredible.

Jill - posted on 02/15/2010

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I know several women personally who have used natural progesterone cream from Arbonne and gotten pregnant. And there are thousands of others. Look up John Lee MD on the web. He researched it for 30 years on natural pregesterone cream. It's awesome stuff!

Joan - posted on 02/15/2010

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hi

i went thru this also it took 2 yrs with the help of a fertility specialist.i think my hormones never went back to balanced after my sons birth.i told a doc for 10 yrs after that that i felt i was in early menopause they all told me i was too young. finally someone did a hormone level test .the results i was in perimenopause.i was 35 at the time.make sure they check your hormone levels. before and after you do have this baby.

i don't know if it was just in my mind or not but i believe my clock ran from 11-11 i had to have sex before 11 at nite i may be crazy about that but i swear that helped us as well as bio-identical hormones.

good luck

Mary - posted on 02/15/2010

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Jenny, secondary infertility is more common than most people realize. Whether it is primary or secondary, it can be extremely painful, isolating and demoralizing. I sometimes wonder if it almost worse if you already have a child, in that outsiders tend to be less understanding or sympathetic, since you have already had a baby, and "should be grateful for what you have". As someone who went through YEARS of unexplained primary infertility, I get it. To all of those well-meaning individuals who tell you to "relax, stop trying and it will happen"....STOP!!!!! Nothing is more aggravating or patronizing. Yes, all sorts of people will tell you it happened to them; but there are hundreds of women for whom that didn't work...they just tend not to be too vocal about it, since they didn't get that same happy ending.



You are doing the right thing by seeing a specialist...it can give you more concrete answers, as well as a plan of action. From my experience, the most imortant thing for you right now is to remain positive, and never forget to nuture your marriage. Take a break when either one of you needs it, and try to focus on the good things you do currently have, instead of the monthly disappointments. It's harder than it sounds, I know. I wish you all the best!

Holly - posted on 02/15/2010

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Pam,
I am so sorry you had to endure a miscarriage!!! I am so glad though that you are now pregnant with twins!!!! Congratulations!!!

Holly - posted on 02/15/2010

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Watch those kits! While they are great for women with no known medical issues they say on the pamphlet INSIDE not to use if you have PCOS. At least a few years ago it wasn't on the box! They are pricey (but ultimately worth it if they work). But if you open it THEN read it won't help you it really stinks!

If you have irregular periods and difficulty getting pregnant (three to six months of unprotected sex and no pregnancy), research PCOS, there is no way to test for it. You have the symptoms and they diagnose you.

Why do I harp on PCOS so often?? Because I suffered for 7 years with no one diagnosing me! It has become increasingly more often that women are diagnosed with it. I don't think it is a condition of over diagnosing. I see it as more doctors recognizing it! I would go for months with no period and negative pregnancy tests. I was devastated each and every time that stupid test came back negative. I SOBBED begging SOMEONE to tell me what the heck was wrong with me! I think they blew me off as having had my period and just seeking attention!!! Finally a doctor diagnosed me. It was a huge weight off my shoulders. It also gave me an opportunity to figure out what the symptoms were and how to work around them! :)

I find it very important to let other women know about this disease! Some people call it Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome and some call it Poly Cystic Ovarian Disease... same thing...

IF anyone has any questions either please look it up, the internet has TONS of resources and message boards etc JUST for us women with PCOS. You can also ask me if you wish! I have done tons of research in the last 10 years or so! :)

Pamela - posted on 02/15/2010

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Hi- We actually did not have a fertility problem but did have one miscarriage over the summer. We wanted to get pregnant again sooner than later because of my age (38).
We conceived a child almost immediately using an ovulation predictor kit and we are now 19 weeks along with identical twin boys!!!!! They really work!! I was able to get pregnant with my first child too after 1year of no results by using one of these kits you buy in the drugstore. They vary in price but will tell you when your body releases the hormone that makes you ovulate.

Holly - posted on 02/14/2010

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Ladies,

Reading through this thread breaks my heart. So very many seem to be struggling to get pregnant. PLEASE go in for a gyno exam. Mention that you have been trying for X amount of months and ask for CHLOMID. No, your insurance doesn't cover it. BUT there are five pills in a cycle of meds. You take them for five days starting a certain day into your period (varies on what your doctor wants you to do). The first dosage they put me on (the lowest) was $25 for the months pills. I took that dose twice (most doctors will raise you each month, we chose not to). The third month the pills were about $10 or so more. A small sacrifice to getting pregnant... but about the cost of one pack of really good diapers ya know? So if you are going to support a baby these pills aren't all that bad LOL :) At least that's how we looked at it:) We got pregnant on round three (there are five or six doses.). Most Healthy women will get pregnant in less than six months without any help. If you haven't achieved it after that time period you may need a boost. That's what the Chlomid is!:) It worked wonders for us and we are very happy to have our beautiful baby boy Aiden and wouldn't trade him for the world! The month before you start the Chlomid if your periods are not regular the dr may put you on a pack of birth control pills to regulate your period.
If this isn't the route you want to take for whatever reason lose 10 pounds! No, I am not saying you are fat... but fat cells store progesterone. When you lose weight those fat cells as they are disappearing release all of that progesterone into your body therefore boosting your pregnancy possibility (that's how we got kiddos 2-4). Mikey was a fluke LOL. My body got scared when it heard all of the threats about tests`and pokes and prods to figure out what we needed to do LOL. But we had tried for three months for him!! How many times have you heard a pregnant women lament that she had JUST lost X amount of weight only to come up pregnant? It's because she flooded her body with progesterone when she lost the weight!:) (On the flip side if you DO NOT want to get pregnant be careful when losing weight:) )

I read the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility too... it was insightful :) I appreciated knowing how my body was supposed to work, even though it didn't do it often LOL! PCOS means I don't have a release of an egg every month which is why the Chlomid worked for me :) It gave me the release of an egg so I had a possibility of getting pregnant:)

It breaks my heart and brings back such horrible memories of getting a period or a negative pregnancy test to read some of these posts. Good luck ladies! I mean it from the bottom of my heart!

Sheila - posted on 02/14/2010

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I am currently 10 wks pregnant with my second child. It took us about 22 months to get pregnant again. I was nervous about using clomid or any fertility meds and I'm glad we waited. That said, our ob-gyn was ready to start us with a fertility specialist after 1 yr of trying. When we stopped "trying" it just happened. I wish you and your husband all the luck in the world.

Chrissy - posted on 02/14/2010

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I have a son from my first marriage. I remarried and my husband and I have been trying for 4 years with no luck. I have been told much of the same things as some of you about it will happen. I thought I was I missed a period and 5 neg test including a blood test. He wants to keep trying but I'm about ready to give up. Because it hurts me to see the negative test.

Holly - posted on 02/13/2010

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I have PCOS and am considered infertile even though I have six kids. My first I got pregnant with after having sex TWICE (in life). The next one was two years, then three years and so on. The last one I was on Chlomid which is a fertility drug. PCOS gets worse with age as do the symptoms and chances of conceiving.

Debbie - posted on 02/12/2010

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im hated it when people kept saying to me "it will happen when it happens" or "stop stressing and it will happen" or "get drunk and u will fall". i even had a doctor tell me some of these things. it took me 18mths to fall for our first, 5 yrs for our second, and 17mths for our third. with our first, i finally convinced my hubby to get checked and a week before his appointment we found out we were pregnant, our second, we went to the doctor only to be told there is nothing wrong keep trying, swapped doctors and he referred us to a fertility clinic, went and saw clinic, a week later we were pregnant(on our own, no treatment had begun), morale of my story is, i think the threat of my hubby using a cup ;) made his swimmers work.lol. all i can say is, i know where your coming from, stay strong,keep smiling and read as much info as u can.

Nicole - posted on 02/12/2010

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I don't personally have this issue but one of neices does....she and her hubby have been "trying" for about 8 1/2 yrs now with no success....they have a 9 yr old son and have been trying since he was about 6 months old....I keep telling her that 8 1/2 yrs is a really long time and that she should have went to the dr about it yrs ago....I am sorry to all you moms that are going through this.....Here is some baby dust for all of you... *dust*

Bethany - posted on 02/12/2010

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My husband and I had no trouble conceiving our son... But we have been trying for almost three years now and nothing. I recently went to see my doctor and found out that there is something wrong with me. I have something called Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome. And that is most likely the cause of my infertility... I urge every woman who is having trouble conceiving to get checked out...

Michelle - posted on 02/12/2010

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I was wondering if your cycles have changed??? R they regular between 24 - 30 days apart? If not check into infertility. Has your weight changed... gained? Sometimes being over weight can mess up your cycle. I'm only asking beacuse I have Polycystic ovaries and had much difficulty concieving my daughter and one of the causes, not for me though, is being over weight. Sometime losing the excess weight can correct the PCOS. Just thinkin'!
HTH,
Michelle

Ericka - posted on 02/12/2010

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I have had 2 successful ivf treatments with successful outcomes.... First - Daughter, second pregnancy twins.... A specialist is the right way to go... They will be able to perform tests to rule out possible problems... Stay encouraged .... I will be more than happy to answer any questions I can when you go to your specialist in March....

Susan - posted on 02/12/2010

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OMG Yes! I conceived my first within 3 months. Then started trying for my second when my son was a year old! Nothing was happening for over a year so saw a specialist. Went through the invitros several times. Finally go pregnant with twins when my son was almost 4 only to miscarry both of them at 12 week gestation. Tried a few more cycles of invitro but then I was approaching 40 so came to the realization that my son would be an only and I gave up. About 2 months later, I got pregnant on my own!! I had another beautiful healthy boy when his brother was 6 and I was 40!!! Very difficult and stressful time in my life, but wouldn't trade it for anything. Made me appreciate my boys all the more, and I thank God Everyday for them! People do say relax and it will happen. I do have to say, easier said than done, but honestly? That's when I got pregnant. After I gave up! But remember, that's only if it's meant to be. My son is now a healthy 4 year old, full of life! Good luck with your dreams. And just remember you have 1 now to appreciate and love. :)

Katie - posted on 02/11/2010

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Hmm, my husband has a varicocele and it took us over 2 years to get pregnant with number 1. Varicoceles cause really high infertility rates when it comes to the second time around. I have yet to prove that with ourselves as baby is only 7 months. But it's some crazy number like 80%. Has your spouse gotten a sperm test?
And having your fallopian tubes cleared may or may not help. I had mine done in July (my baby was born last July) and so it might've helped even though there was no blockage. I found it to be a painful experience. I had some unexplained liquid afterwards, but everything turned out fine and obviously I had a baby. Good luck. Infertility sucks!

Stacy - posted on 02/11/2010

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Hi Corine... I believe that God is involved in everything in my life... and part of that would be conceiving another child. But, as Beverley explained---it probably wasn't him giving me that message, but rather my own bad feelings being misplaced. With this whole trying to conceive issue---hope is all you have. And there is hope in God. So, I choose to keep him involved in it. I'm sorry as I didn't mean to be brash all... I just found your response a bit offensive. I don't think you necessarily meant it to be, it's just the way I took it. Thank you...

Nichole - posted on 02/11/2010

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We got pregnant unexpectantly the first time - we were only married 5 months. Then when we started trying for our second it was 10 months before I got pregnant and then we tried the third time and it took several years. We had actually just decided to stop trying and we got pregnant. I think an infertility specialist is the way to go for some good advice.

Judy - posted on 02/11/2010

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My friend Jeanette Wallis 01628 660618 is a reflexologist who uses NLP and has had fantastic success with second pregnancies that are taking their time!

BRIDGET - posted on 02/11/2010

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Maybe it just isnt meant to happen no matter how much you want it too. our daughter will turn 8 on the 27th of this month we have never use any kind of prevention and have been checked by the doctor and it just hasn't happened for us. But we look at it as a blessing that we have one beautiful smart healthy child and there are so many couples that don't have that. Good luck and I hope that things will work out for you in the end but if not your still blessed with one...

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