SELFISH????

[deleted account] ( 29 moms have responded )

Is it selfish my son is only seven weeks old and I am so ready to quit breastfeeding? Mainly because I want to go on a strict diet regimen in order to lose my last twenty pounds, but I know I cannot do that while breastfeeding because of needing to consume enough calories to produce breast milk.



I feel like a horrible mother for wanting to quit so early on. I know breastfeed babies have more nutritional benefits than not. I am on maternity leave for another few months so it’s not that I could not or can not breastfeed, I just am tired of it and ready to lose my baby fat. Is this selfish or vain ?

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Constance - posted on 07/09/2011

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The last 20 is hard to still see but remember you just had a baby 7 weeks ago. If breastfeeding isn't for you that is ok. You don't have to feel bad about but if you are looking for ways to produce enough breastmilk then you have drink lots of wate and eat a lot of calories. Healthy calories you can look into the Glycemic Index Diet. Also when working out your little one is getting big enough for you to use her as workout buddy.

On average though women take about 6 monthes to lose all baby weight. Be patient it will come off. I promise.

Billie Jo - posted on 07/11/2011

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You don't want to rush into a hasty decision. You only have this time with your son for a little while. If you had reason besides you want to lose weight, I would say it is time to do something different. But, if that is the only reason, there is plenty of time to worry about weight loss later. Don't let it consume your every thought, take in your son in all your free time. It goes way too fast.

Jenn - posted on 07/11/2011

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It is very common to want to quit around six to seven weeks! And you will lose weight if you continue nursing, you have to eat just as healthy as you would to lose weight without breastfeeding. Nursing moms generally lose more weight by six months of breastfeeding than those who don't breastfeed. In all reality, it take up to 12 months to lose all baby weight if you aren't exercising. Breastfeeding can be absolutely miserable but you and your baby will both get better at it the longer you go. Pumping is just as effective if it works better for you and baby. My sister pumped for a year and lost all baby weight plus more while providing baby such fabulous benefits to her baby. I nursed and got on weight Watchers for nursing mothers when she was six months old and the weight dropped fast!

Vicki - posted on 07/11/2011

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I agree with other comments. Stopping breast feeding, likely to put on more weight. I lost weight when I was breastfeeding, then put it back on again when I stopped. Sounds like you might need to eat less fruit - less high GI foods! Also, all food has less minerals in it these days with de-mineralised soil, early picking, long storage, peeling & over cooking. So you probably need some minerals - I find Feroxin, by Neways, the best - dont get cravings. Your body uses more nutrients to burn fat, so we need to suplement our diet to loose weight.

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Britt - posted on 07/14/2011

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as for the "girlfriend," of my ex husband (Soon to be SM of my 2 bio's) i hope she has a happy weight gain !

LOL

Britt - posted on 07/14/2011

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Sorry to hear Miss Shavvonne but we all women are different....maybe the diet you can possibly change?
I have no clue on your diet, but my sister ate a lot of out to eat food and it counter against her goal weight.
(not saying you by all means ) :) hope you have a happy and successful weight loss!

[deleted account]

Yes, Brittany, breatfeeding is suppose to help you lose weight, but some women do not lose weight while breastfeeding for whatever reason. I gained a total of forty five pounds and the first twenty five pounds were a piece of cake to get off, but the last twenty have been a challenge. I am eating a healthy diet and I am exercising daily, still to no avail, not one pound lost. But I will continue doing what I am doing in hopes to shed this weight soon.

Britt - posted on 07/14/2011

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i hear breastfeeding helps lose weight although with my two bio's i never breastfed i tried but failed!

I am very shy to note also!

Don't feel horrible there is formula out there and i have had very healthy children!! Dont shoot yourself down!

Constance - posted on 07/14/2011

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Shavvonne, I am glad we could help you find comfort with your body and with breastfeeding. Need more encouragement we are here.

Anreh - posted on 07/14/2011

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Breastfeeding for me was the best post-pregnancy diet! You can still eat healthy and exercise while you're breastfeeding. Definitely check with your doctor first about exercise, or with a nutritionist on how you can do both! Try not to worry about it. Congrats on your new little one and enjoy him as much as you can now! :)

[deleted account]

Thanks ladies for contributing your thoughts and giving sound advice. I decided I am being both; selfish and vain. I will continue to exercise and eat healthy and not be so hard on myself about losing the weight. In due time it will come off. With that being said, I will continue to breastfeed.

Constance - posted on 07/09/2011

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You horomones ae still out of whack takes time fo them to go back to nomal.

[deleted account]

Thats what I am hearing, Kate. I figured with breastfeeding, eating a very strict diet and excersing daily, I would drop my last twenty pounds in no time. But I see it may take a little longer than I planned.

Kate CP - posted on 07/09/2011

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You do know it takes most women about a year to reach their pre-pregnancy weight, right?

[deleted account]

Thanks Sarah. I am not consuming enough calories because I am dieting so I think thats where the problem lies.



Pumping became easier because my baby was eating every two to three hours and he would stay latched on anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour. But when I give him a bottle he is finished within ten to fifteen minutes. He still latches on just not as much.



You are right, I should enjoy this time of bonding instead of being obsessed about losing this baby fat.

User - posted on 07/09/2011

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Sounds to me like you need to be eating more. You should eat approx 500 calories more per day when breastfeeding. And it is putting a high level of pressure on yourself to lose the baby weight so soon. It's only been a few weeks since you gave birth.

I don't understand how it is more convenient to give him a bottle, what with the washing, sterilising and heating the milk. Enjoy the time it takes to breastfeed and see it as a time to spend some quality time bonding with your child, rather than something than needs to be done as quickly as possible. (Before anyone jumps on me, I'm not saying bottle feeding mums don't bond with their babies, only that it's worth investing time in making feeding a special thing for you to share, whether breast or bottle.)

Constance - posted on 07/09/2011

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I defidently know where you are at. I breastfeed my first for about 6 wks and she stopped on her own. My second there was no way I could have produced enough milk ever for him. 3rd was both for the first 9 monthes and 4th I needed help because of her birth defect and they wouldn't help me figure out how I could do it.

The weight problem was enough to drive me nuts. 1st gained 30 and lost 50 in the first 4 mon. 2nd I gained 50 and it took me a year to get all off. 3rd I gained 70 and didn't lose a pound no matter what I did. 4th was conceived when he was about 6 monthes and in the first three mon I lost the 70 lbs. After the 3rd mon I put on 100 and that took almost 3 yrs to get off. I just couldn't lose the weight at all no matter what I did. I also have a lot of medical problems that cause me to have so many problems so it was blocking me from losing weight.

[deleted account]

Yes, Tee breastfeeding is suppose to help you burn calories, but in my case it does not seem to be burning enough for me to lose weight. I am a stay at home mom, but I started pumping along with latching him on because it was quicker and more convenient to give him a bottle, because sometimes I would nurse for an hour, it was just too much for me. But, I suppose my reasons are a little selfish because that is the plan to stop breastfeeding so I can go on an even stricter diet so I can lose my weight. But from the sounds of it that may not be the answer. Thanks for the advice Tee.

Isobel - posted on 07/09/2011

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Whatever choice you make is yours to make, I just hope you aren't making it for the wrong reason.



Breastfeeding burns calories it doesn't make you keep your weight. I also don't understand why you are "pumping and on a schedule" if your a SAHM...I know when I was breastfeeding, I loved it because it was easier than bottles...I found bottles to be a GIANT, EXPENSIVE pain in the ass.



Maybe you should talk to somebody who knows a little more about it...I would hate for you to quit breastfeeding only to gain more weight and feel worse.

[deleted account]

Wow, constance. So you know all about what I am going through. This is my first child and I guess I had high hopes of breastfeeding him for at least six months because I hear about all the wonderful benefits of breastfeeding, but it is harder than I thought. Especially since I am not losing weight as I thought I would with breastfeeding; it is a little discouraging.

Constance - posted on 07/09/2011

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I have 8 but only gave birth to 4. It got more difficult with each one.

[deleted account]

Thanks Andrea. I read and I guess I misunderstood, that if you're not consuming enough calories while breastfeeding your body will store fat cells and burn just enough to breastfeed. I thought this was the reason for my battle with losing my last few pounds. I have been exercising and eating only fruits and vegetables for the last few weeks and I have yet to lose one pound. I guess it has nothing to do with breastfeeding which I thought would help me lose weight, but you are right that does not guarantee weight lost.

[deleted account]

Thanks Constance. You're right it doesn't matter what others think, it is my choice. I just feel guilty that I could not stay with it longer as some mothers do.

Constance - posted on 07/09/2011

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If it is something you chose to do it completely up to you. Just a suggestion if you search around the internet fo "Mommy Trainers" they can give you some assistance on how to consume enough calories for your milk and the what you need to consume to burn fat.

You are not alone in the battle of baby weight. Breastfeeding is a very personal choice. You have given her a lot of mommy goodness. So don't worry about what other people think.

Andrea - posted on 07/09/2011

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If you weren't consuming enough calories to produce milk, your body would have to USE it's fat stores in order to make the milk, not save them...
That said, breastfeeding doesn't always necessarily help you lose the baby weight. With my first, I still had an extra 20 lbs when I stopped bf-ing at 6 months. 6 months later, I still had the extra weight. It took almost 2 years to get back to a size I was happy with (and then I got pregnant again, go figure). This time, bf-ing again, with my 7 week old, I am below my pre-preg, weight already... from eating small portions of healthy food. No pop, no sweets, etc.
If you don't want to breastfeed, that's totally your choice, but I hope you don't think stopping bf-ing will be a magic cure for the weight loss, because chances are, it won't.
Good luck in your decision making!!

Tamara - posted on 07/09/2011

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As long as you are comfortable with your choice its all that matters. Some will say it is vain as you put it or selfish and there will be some that say its not. Do what you are comfortable with. Don't worry about what others think.

Tamara - posted on 07/09/2011

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If you can say to your self I gave it my honest try then no. I am confused why you can't eat healthy?

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