Erica - posted on 10/10/2015 ( no moms have responded yet )
My boyfriend and I have primary custody of his daughter who is nine. Over the last year she has become very selfish. She had never had chores, which sadly came with me, and had always been daddy's girl. When we moved in together I finally convinced him to go back to school and follow his dreams and I would support the two of them. Too help him out we all took on more responsibilities. We let her choose her chores from a list to give her ownership, we also use tokens (which are used to buy books she wants) to reward her for meeting responsibilities. Since she got home from summer with her mom she had become overly selfish. When she is there she is given anything she wants without regard of cost or reason, basically if she says jump, mom does. Dad and I are very different, we give her what she needs and encourage her interests, but also are not afraid to tell her no. She is bucking against us at every turn and especially me since she stopped be the center of daddy's world when I came around. I still encourage them to take days alone as well as our family days, and find days for just us. I am just getting frustrated because we want her to become a kind and caring person and I am not sure how to get through. She gets angry and stand offish when we talk about a behavior that concerns us.