Separated from all friends in 4th grade

Erin - posted on 06/14/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My 9 year old daughter just received her 4th grade class assignment for the fall. She got the teacher she was really hoping for but none of her close friends are in her class. The part that is upsetting is that ALL her closest friends got put into one class. She seems fine with it one minute (she does have some friends in there, but none of her very best) but the next minute she is asking me if her close friends will forget her, why did they separate me, etc. How do I encourage her to stay positive? Do I call the school and talk to the principal about this or just let it be? I don't think they would switch her. I know this is probably a good learning experience for her but I am still confused as to what to do?

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Dove - posted on 06/14/2015

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Just keep reminding her of the kids she DOES like that are in her class and that she can see her best friends at recess and lunch (if she can) and outside of school. I would not call the school over this... just keep encouraging your daughter. Let her get her emotions out w/ you and sympathize w/ how she feels, but empower her to focus on all the positives as well.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/14/2015

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I think you're making too big a fuss. We don't always get what we want in life, and asking to have children moved between classes because 'her best friend is in the other class' tends to create humans who think those sort of changes should happen through their college years.
Nothing is more frustrating to a college instructor than a student whining about not being in the same class as their BFF or boyfriend.
Bottom line is: Does she want to have her choice of teacher (which she has now) or be in class with her best friend (who, by the next month may have another best friend, or your child may have another). What is more important here: Her education, or her socialization?

Erin - posted on 06/14/2015

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At our school, they try and move everyone with at least one friend. My daughter is pretty independent, but I think its the fact that all 7 of her closest friends are in one class and she is in another - and she didn't even get that one friend with her. I know she will survive, and hopefully her friends are her friends - even if they aren't in the same class, but it still a bit of a slap in the face for her. And I'm not sure if it is worth pursuing with her principal at all to just get the reasoning behind it.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/14/2015

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Well, are they still at the same school? If so, they'll still see each other daily and be able to interact.
Generally, at the 4th grade level, the kids names are divided equally amongst the available classes, and that's the way the chips fell.

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