Separated from my husband. Need a divorce but should I just stay separated?

Shirly Hart - posted on 06/03/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )

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We adopted children at birth. Three kids and they are now 9, 11, and 16. I need some advice. The lawyer is taking a lot of my money, but I had to have her put a freeze on the houses so he will not take out the equity. We have a rental property as well. My husband moved out three years ago. He lives in Sacramento and we live in Del Mar. He is paying for a lot of the bills but it is because I have the attorney. I am not using her at the present moment but our houses are frozen so he can't touch them. He does not know how much rent I am getting on the other house so I have around 1,000 extra that I can save on the side. I think I may be doing better without going to the attorney. He pays for most things except food and gas. What do you think? He has an extreme anger problem and we all lived with abuse. I see it more now that I am not in it but still emotionally abuses me if I allow it. Thank you shirly

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Shirly Hart - posted on 06/03/2013

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Yes, I have filed already. This is how we got the houses frozen. I am just letting it go for now. He has been served for divorce. I am letting him pay for all of the bills for now so I can get some money saved up for the kids for expenses. I am lucky I have assets that can help me. It looks like I am doing the right thing by persuing the divorce. You are right to not stay with someone just for the money. He does not live with us and has not for 3 years. Thank you for your reply. shirly

Amy - posted on 06/03/2013

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It doesn't matter how much money you save you are going to have to list it in your financials, everything will have to be disclosed, including any assets you have. But I agree that eventually one of you is going to have to file. I couldn't imagine staying with someone just because of the money.

Shirly Hart - posted on 06/03/2013

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Thanks Michelle for responding. I have three kids thougt to support and have no skills to go out and work but I do have assets. I am saving money on the side to prepare for it. I feel as though I have more control right now. Good divorce attorneys it will cost me around 40k for a divorce. Did you have children?

I do think I need to go forward with the divorce like you said. Thanks.

Michelle - posted on 06/03/2013

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I personally would get a divorce but then once I left my ex husband I didn't want any ties with him at all. I also live in Australia where we don't have any alimony so it doesn't matter that I had to support myself completely.

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