Kayla - posted on 01/16/2015 ( no moms have responded yet )
My husband and I have kinda a long history- We fought, alot. We fought about his anger, his ADHD symptomatic daughter and his ex. Well the straw finally broke and I told him to get out. And my life was GREAT!! I was so happy and found relief, and then the vicious circle of back and forth, let's reconcile, but wait I hate you never want you blah blah blah. The last time I fought so hard to get him back because I thought I loved him, but then he let his 5 yo decide if we save our marriage.....wow is all I felt. (Which Her & I never got along, and I was always made to be the evils step mother. Which she was out of control, and no normal 4-5 yo would act like she did. I would get migraines every weekend we had her, and it got to the point where I just hated going home and started avoiding it as much as possible.)
And then (quick backstory..I have 2 of my own and got my tubes tied, which he knew full well before we got married) he said he wants more children. He was ok with not having more in the beginning but now he wants a son. Kinda felt like a kick to the gut, am I right? Ok, I'm your wife, you accepted me before, but now you want more children that I can't provide to you....(I thought I was going to be sick). Well then we talked and tried to meet in the middle and for us to get back together, and his demands for us to get back together were we would have to sell my house that I bought, and have my tubes untied and have a child. I was bumrushed with all of this and started thinking that if he wants this so badly, do I want to give it to him? Does he understand that he is asking a lot of a person/of his wife? So after a few days, and talking with a therapist, I have decided that I'm not going to have anymore children. I"m quite happy with the life we had and I have two children of my own, why would I give this man a chance to completely change my world/body and give him a child when we're on the edge of divorce? I'm not insane for thinking this right??
Now because I told him that I don't want anymore children, he's "officially" done with me. He's going to focus on his daughter, his life and his future wife and family. (Now I feel like he was just trying to be hurtful and say what he can to get a response) I told him, since this is our deal breaker, that I want him to be happy and I won't ask him to change his dreams or needs for a family, I'm not even going to ask him to compromise. I want him to be happy and have more kids, even if it means it won't be with me.
So, am I just being crazy or is he being completely unrealistic? Any advice or suggestions? Do you think I"m doing the right thing, even if it means getting a divorce? Is there any advice on coping with divorce and getting through this with my head held high?