Seriously?!?!? Any suggestions?

Kelina - posted on 06/05/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I have two kids, a son 3 1/2 and a daughter 1 1/2. I'm currently about 35 -36 weeks pregnant depending on what you go by. Two weeks ago I went into preterm labor. They managed to stop my labor, and told me to rest and take it easy. On sunday, we were worried I was going into labor again, so my inlaws took our kids overnight for the second night in a row (the first night was a treat) with a bit of an attitude about it. Today was my kids first day home with me since saturday and I've had it. On Saturday I had reasonably well behaved kids, who went to bed and down for naps without a fuss and left places like the park without a fuss. They listened reasonably well. Ok, if I'm honest I'm told they listen really well and while they were good at pushing my buttons, what kid isn't. Now-I'm worn out. I'm exhausted from trying to do nothing and still be a parent. My kids came home from their grandparents overtired and whiny. When my husband brought them home last night my son slept from 5 o'clock, got up at 9 for a snack and was back in bed by 9:30 then slept until 8:15 this morning. This was not from running around or going out with grandma which they didn't do, this was from being kept up late, not napping, and getting up early. Or rather being allowed to nap in front of the tv which means he doesn't nap. On sunday he threw a fit when they told him it was time to go home. Apparently I'm mean because I don't let him watch tv all day. naptime was a fight that I eventually gave up on today because after 3 1/2 hours of trying to get my overtired exhausted little girl to sleep, I cried for ten minutes then just opened her door. Normally, there's no fight at naptime. Bedtime last night was an ordeal as well, over an hour and a half. The second night they had the kids, they were at my house when we thought I was going into labor, it was half an hour before the kids bedtime when we left. I would have preferred they put the kids to bed here and stayed here but apparently that was not acceptable. My pregnancy was stellar up until two weeks ago. now I'm on bedrest and trying to deal with two kids. Why do my only choices have to be go into early labor or deal with two kids who have been spoiled rotten by grandma and a newborn in a couple of weeks when he's born? Is there some universal rule that says this can't be a little bit easier? I feel like I'm being forced to choose between doing whats right for the kids I have and whats right for the baby inside me. I'm totally overwhelmed and emotional and to be honest my husband doesn't seem to understand the full scope of bedrest. I desperately need help and have no idea where to turn for it.

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Kelina - posted on 06/05/2012

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no this is actually toned down from what grandma and grandpa used to be. WE;ve tried setting down rules but it's pretty much useless. Much like banging your head against a wall. My kids were both two weeks early, so I'm not sure exactly what the difference would be if baby were to come soon. The most maddening thing is I don't need help for long, I don't understand why it's so difficult to get it. I have plenty of family around between my husbands family and my own, but no one seems willing or able to help. The people who are willing simply don't have the time, the people who have the time aren't willing. It's frustrating and exhausting.

Amanda - posted on 06/05/2012

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My son was a month early and personally I would rather deal with cranky kids for the short term.

Let the grand parents spoil them and worry about what you need to do to keep yourself and the baby healthy. Are you able to set down ground rules for the kids with your in laws with regards to bed time and naps??? I know it's not always easy, my in laws never put my kids to bed when they are supposed to and I know they feed them later, bath them later and give them ice cream and chocolate just before bed.

Kelina - posted on 06/05/2012

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that's the thing, no one has offered to help. Luckily my husband has the most understanding boss on the planet who after hearing about the situation has told him to take the time off that he needs. Amazing though, my hubby had been home an hour and looks at me and says, "has she been like this all day?" pointing to our daughter. When I nodded he says, "I feel sorry for you!" the lost wages will suck and leave us scrambling at the end of the month, but hopefully I can make it to at least 37 weeks.

Elfrieda - posted on 06/05/2012

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You sound exhausted! I would vote for dealing with the cranky kids and a newborn. It's not doing them any harm to be spoiled by grandma for a few weeks, and probably they're not like that because she's doing anything wrong (although I wouldn't be happy with the over-tired kids either, it's only for a short time), it's just that kids act up after they've been away. All the kids I know, including mine, are almost evil after spending overnight time at grandparents. Not that anything bad happened, just the break in routine and caregiver threw them off.



Do you have friends or family who have said, "If there's anything I can do to help, let me know."? Let them know! Most of them really mean it, just like you would if your friend was in your situation. Helpful things that they could do include cleaning the house, getting your hospital bag ready, freezing meals for after the baby is born, an extra pair of hands after the baby is born, cooking meals for right now, and buying any last-minute things you'll need. (like a hat for the baby or presents "from the baby" for your older kids) Just stay in bed and rest, please! Your husband will hopefully get the picture when you stop getting up for things.



Good luck. I wish you all the best!

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