setting boundaries for my 12 year old ...

Kirsty - posted on 02/25/2016 ( 8 moms have responded )

3

0

1

he doesnt go out much likes to play the xbox gets his own way alot but hes had a bad attitude with me refusing to do simple things like get in the bath , hes leaving his tea refuses to eat it , not very nice with his 6year old brother hes very stubborn, iv taking his xbox and phone from him last night he said it was boring without his computor and went to sleep for 6pm !! ...whats the best thing to do now..

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Michelle - posted on 02/25/2016

4,568

8

3247

I had my oldest son pack his bag, write a sign with his Dad's phone number on it and stand in front of my house when he didn't like my rules.
He lasted outside for about 10 mins before he realized he should come back in because he wasn't allowed to cross the road on his own (he was abut 7 at the time).
I had quite a few battles with him but he is now almost 15 and he knows the rules and (mostly) lives by them. I have had times that he said he hated me though. We also have a great relationship and just the other day said that he can talk to me easier than his Dad or even his friends.
I said this to show that you can have rules and enforce them and still have a great relationship with your children. Children will always push the boundaries, that's how they learn. As parents we have to be consistent in enforcing rules and consequences so they know right from wrong. If we keep changing things then it just confuses them.
That being said, my kids have been told to clean their rooms or they don't get any technology all weekend, 2 out of 3 have and my oldest only has today left to do it. Up to him.

Dove - posted on 02/25/2016

12,476

0

1354

Stay firm. It sounds like he may have a gaming addiction and some depression... so if you are setting limits (or eliminating the gaming completely) and he doesn't start to get over his funk in a couple of weeks (or gets worse earlier)... you may want to look into some counseling for him.

It may just be a matter of a stubborn, spoiled, hormonal boy... but please keep an eye on the situation in case he may benefit from some professional help.

Michelle - posted on 02/25/2016

4,568

8

3247

You stop letting him get his own way.
You keep his technology until he learns to respect you as his parent and can treat his brother nicely as well.

8 Comments

View replies by

Jodi - posted on 02/25/2016

3,562

36

3907

Don't let him use wanting to live with dad as a threat over you. You need to stop letting him get his own way.......you can't just suddenly implement consequences and expect him to like them if you have always let him do what he wants! So he says he hates you. Big deal. Don't let it convince you to give in. You took the xbox away for one night.

Now, you need to sit down with your son and discuss the behaviour. He doesn't get those things back until he can demonstrate that he knows how to behave respectfully and appropriately. Make him earn it back. He needs to understand that there are boundaries in your home, and he crossed them. And you NEED to be consistent,

Strong - posted on 02/25/2016

36

0

0

I’m sorry that you’re facing a difficult time dealing with your son. I came across this information (http://bit.ly/1n0HFCd) about disciplining uncooperative children. You might want to take a look at the resources mentioned at the bottom of the page. I’m praying for you and your sons, OK? *Hugs. Love.*

Ev - posted on 02/25/2016

8,166

7

919

The others have it right. It does not sound like he has had too many rules or consequences to deal with. If you keep allowing him to be this way, he will run over you a lot more the older he gets and the bigger he gets. Raye is right that he does not get to decide who he lives with dad. He said that because you took his Xbox and phone away from him.

Raye - posted on 02/25/2016

3,761

0

21

You have to have rules and consequences. If you don't, then he will continue being a disrespectful brat. He doesn't get to choose to live with dad.

Kirsty - posted on 02/25/2016

3

0

1

he left for school this morning without eating breakfast saying he hates me and he wants to go & live with his dad (who sees him ones a fortnight

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms