Sex abuse

Jessica - posted on 04/07/2015 ( 13 moms have responded )

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My 12(almost 13) year old has said my fience has sexually touched her. She told friends after an assembly. I am trying to believe her but she lies... A lot. Recently she found out if her grades don't improve she will move here with me (in another state) to try school here. She doesn't want to lose her friends. She has Ben ease dropping on me and going they my phone (suspect by one if the things I'm being told) and my fience and I have been apart for a few weeks due to this. What are the chances she is lying? Things don't add up, there is no emotion that I see from her, and because it's being invistagated I can't talk to her about it...

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Dove - posted on 04/07/2015

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You always take these allegations seriously. I'm assuming she lives w/ her father? Hopefully he gets her into counseling while this is investigated and she is not exposed to your fiance until the investigation is complete.

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Jessica - posted on 04/08/2015

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I can't talk to her about it.. Therefore I can't tell her the repercussions if she is lying. I hope they inform her.

Sarah - posted on 04/08/2015

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If the detective and the caseworker believe your daughter, you can expect your fiance to be charged. Whether or not he will be convicted would come down to a trial. If he is guilty then that's what should happen. If she is not being honest, she needs to know the consequences of her accusations will be life altering.

Jessica - posted on 04/08/2015

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I have talked to the detective… He said he will interview all of us again and has not seen the video yet but talk to the caseworker… Said may only be small changes. Do you think that they have found an inconsistency with her and they will not be charging my fiancé?

Sarah - posted on 04/08/2015

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Jessica, sadly kids do lie about abuse. The rule I follow professionally as a school nurse is every disclosure, no matter how vague or unbelievable must be believed until proven false. It sounds like that is what you are doing, so good for you. One suggestion, lock your phone with a code. There are often texts or emails of a sensitive nature in my phone and I make sure that no one can access it but me.
The good thing, if she is lying, is that at 13 she likely will come clean and explain her motives. Best of luck!

Raye - posted on 04/08/2015

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I would treat this very seriously, but she could be lying. If she knows that she would be forced to move in with you, she could be trying to make it so that can't happen. Children don't know how something like this can ruin people's lives. I pray that she is lying, and the truth comes out. But if the investigation turns something up, then I hope you do the right thing by your daughter.

Jasmine - posted on 04/08/2015

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I think you should believe your daughter no matter what! She's a child & sometimes children do tend to lie , but why would she lie about something so awful? Believe her unless proven otherwise.

Dove - posted on 04/08/2015

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It's not funny, Jessica... We have an ignorant, persistent troll on this board. She typically goes through at least 2-3 screen names each day because her posting privileges keep getting blocked, but she just can't take the hint that no one wants her here or cares about anything she says...

Hang in there! I hope they sort this out soon.

Jessica - posted on 04/08/2015

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No none of my kids are allowed around him until this is over. And we are following directions as asked. Including lying to the other children as to why he is gone. I am taking this serious, don't get me wrong. Just things don't add up. She had a forensic interview earlier this week but they couldn't tell me anything new since law I forcement didn't show.

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