Sex education

Evelyn - posted on 10/19/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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What do you say to a son who is going through puberty and his dad is not involved at all in the conversation?

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Jodi - posted on 10/19/2013

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This is why they need sex education from home. They pick up all sorts of ideas about sex and what it is if they learn from their friends. Sure, he is only 12. Kids are having sex not much older than that. You need to be discussing this with him ASAP so that he can actually understand what it is he is saying. These discussions should really have started much younger, but now is as good a time as any. Talking to him about family and moral values isn't going to help if he can't really understand the issues surrounding sex. If you are going to preach morality to a child, you need to also go into the detail with them.

Evelyn - posted on 10/19/2013

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Unfortunately I don't have a close male friend that I can rely on right now. I found very disturbing and perverse language on face book and texting and questioned him about it. He denied that it was him, then said some of it was pranking because he heard it from other kids. He is only 12. I was appalled at the language. It was very perverse and graphic and it related to homosexuality which even disturbed me more. I am not sure if he is struggling with his sexuality or just trying to fit in with some of his peers who are using very sexual graphic homosexual language. I have been praying about the best way to handle this. In the meantime, we have had a lot of talks about family and moral values.

Jodi - posted on 10/19/2013

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Be honest. I was the one who had a talk to my son and it was quite matter-of-fact and went very smoothly. To be fair, there was lead up to it - I have always been honest with him whenever he had questions, and we'd already discussed the changes his body would go through. Sex education is really an ongoing conversation. Even now, he is 16, and he is very comfortable discussing things with me.

I used a book called "What is Happening to Me" to help, as it is helpful to have some visuals, and something for him to read and ask questions about.

It is really important that you keep any "awkwardness" to a minimum. If you feel awkward, he will feel awkward and therefore less likely to ask the questions he needs to.

Another option is, do you have a close male friend or family member that will help with this conversation?

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