Sexualization

Madelyn - posted on 06/28/2015 ( 8 moms have responded )

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I joined this site because I wanted to share my thoughts on a few issues I see are talked about here so here's one of the issues.I have come to the realization that kids and teens and anybody in general are constantly sexualized. I personally feel that half the thing we see as "sexy" or (even worse) "slutty" are not and should not be. First nothing a bout a 12 year old should be sexualized or thought of as overly sexual because 1 12 year olds are fing 12 and 2 the only reason it's sexual or slutty is because whoever says this is turning natural parts of the body into objects. Objects of ridicule or of pleasure. To conclude children aren't sexy or slutty, you saying these things, are a perverted creep with a twisted image on life.
please give me your thoughts on the subject. Thanks!!

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Jodi - posted on 06/30/2015

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Oh, there wasn't anyone who put a 10 year old in a string bikini. I was commenting on the fact that it is we adults using the term sexualisation that is the problem, not the clothes we are putting the children in. My bad :) Maybe I misinterpreted what this post was about.....

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/01/2015

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I don't see using the term 'sexualization' as being the problem here. The problem is the parents who, from the day their daughter is born, will dress her in clothing that, when worn by women at an appropriate age is considered to be 'sexy'. There is no reason for an 8 year old to wear clothing that would be deemed 'sexy' if worn by an older woman.
As to the woman who commented about tank tops and shorts in school: There is usually a dress code which is clearly stated. In some areas, sun smart dress is encouraged, while in others, dress code dictates knee length or longer lower garments and upper garments that are not halter/tank tops. If you dress your child contrary to those dress terms, the school is well within their rights to send the child home or call for school appropriate clothing. After all, wearing shorts/tank tops in excessive heat also should be accompanied by application of sunscreen every couple of hours. What 8 YO is going to remember to put on sunscreen at every recess? Asking a teacher to do that forces the teacher to cross contact boundaries.
Yes, to the OP: "12 year olds are fing 12 and 2 the only reason it's sexual or slutty is because whoever says this is turning natural parts of the body into objects." a 12 YO is a 12 YO...but have you met one who thinks that, because she's developing, she needs to dress so that boys will 'notice' her? I have...and it's not pretty. They take that clothing (which may be appropriate for a 17 or 18 YO), and dress themselves in it, trying to doll up with makeup to 'look older' so that 'boys will like me'. Now, one of my friends daughters is dealing with a lot of inappropriate contact from men, partially because she's been dressing and acting this way for years.
Is it correct for men to view younger girls as sexual objects? No, it's not. However, one way to help change that is to teach young ladies to dress as ladies. I have two young adult men. Both are very respectful, polite, etc. Neither would attempt to 'get somewhere' with a young lady based on her style of dress...but then again, neither appreciates how scantily some young ladies clad themselves, and generally avoid them altogether. I asked my eldest, and he said "If she has that little self respect to put herself on full display...I don't have much respect for her." He then pointed to another young lady about the same age, who was dressed in what he termed to be 'appropriate clothing'. It was a nice sundress. It covered the bosom and the butt, and was very cute. "Mom, THAT is a sexy girl. She knows what she's got, and she's not just giving it away".
Mind you: I'm VERY proud of my body and my personal image. I don't dress scantily, but I do dress to enhance the qualities that I have. I DO wear bikini tops, and halters. I've got a very healthy body image (that took A LOT of years to develop with society being the way it is about female bodies). I do not, however, leave my bra straps hanging out as an 'accessory'. My shorts and skirts cover my ass and my clit...LOL...as a matter of fact, if they're not below knee length, I don't wear 'em. Not because I don't look good, but because those anatomical parts aren't for public display. Not because I'm a prude, but because I don't need anyone to validate my perception of myself.
I'd really like to see parents of daughters amping up the teaching of self respect. Its a hard quality for ANYONE to develop, but once you've got it, you're golden in terms of not only how you perceive yourself, but also how others perceive you.

ETA Holy crap! Sorry for the dissertation!

Dove - posted on 06/30/2015

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No worries, Jodi. :) I read this post when it was new and I just kept my mouth shut cuz I didn't know what to say.... not sure I even made any sense this morning. lol

Dove - posted on 06/30/2015

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I missed a post where someone put a 10 year old in a string bikini...? Good... gross... lol

My girls have Instagram friends (young teenagers... 12-16) and there are SOOOO many butt posts from their friends. Not from their CLOSE group, but oh my goodness... it makes me cringe... and thankfully it makes my girls cringe as well.

Yes, it is creepy for an adult to call a child sexy or slutty, but there are children that are TRYING to project themselves as such... intentionally... there are kids this age (12) that are having sex and acting out in VERY sexual ways. There is nothing in the world wrong w/ teaching your child modesty and appropriate behaviors and that trying to 'objectify' yourself is wrong.

Now... my girls DO wear bikinis and have since they were very young... but the bikinis they wear fully cover their boobs and butt. They HAVE gotten a little unwanted attention and that has been the fault of the creeps giving them that attention, not them.... but you would be surprised how many kids in this age range are actually LOOKING for the inappropriate attention.

I have no idea if I've made any sense or if I'm rambling completely off the mark here.

Oh... and schools have dress codes. Some schools have strict dress codes and some schools have lax ones... if you don't like the dress code where a kid gets sent home in a tank top and short shorts... find another school.

Jodi - posted on 06/30/2015

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Oh, and to the lady who commented on the tank top and shorts at school....this is inappropriate school wear because most schools have a sunsmart policy in place. Tank tops and short shorts don't fit with this policy.

Jodi - posted on 06/30/2015

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OK, so by saying to someone that putting their 10 year old in a string bikini is sexualising the child.....I am the one with the problem for viewing it as over-sexualising the child? But it is okay to purchase the string bikini for the 10 year old? Hm, ok.

Sherry - posted on 06/29/2015

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I agree. This reminds me of how little girls are being sent home from school for wearing tank tops and shorts in 90 degree weather because it's 'distracting' other students or worse, the male teachers. I always want to ask these people who is REALLY in the wrong here, the 10 year old girl trying not to die of heat stroke or the 50 year old married man with children 3 times her age who is made 'uncomfortable' by her outfit? Hmm

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