She confessed she's not a virgin anymore...

April - posted on 09/18/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Hi moms. Last night my 17 yr old dropped a bomb on me!
It feels like I lost my baby girl and she woke up a woman. I'm so heartbroken. She's the first of my 3 girls. She's 17, and I also have a 6 yr old and a 9 month old. I'm 34. I had my first at the age of 16. I know the exact date I conceived her. 5 days after my birthday, the first time I had sex w him.
She's a good kid, a senior. :) I'm not w her father nemore. We broke up when she was 2. I've had "the" talk w her and she knows all about my life I don't hide anything from her or try to paint an unrealistic picture about life. It was hard having a child so young. Wo the help and support of my single mom idk what I would have done. She raised me AND my daughter. Well to make a long story short. She has a boyfriend who reminds me Soooo much of her dad! For the past couple of weeks I've been taking her back n forth to the doctor because she's been complaining of terrible pain down there. I was in denial. I asked her and she said no. So then my fear turned into kidney problems. All kinds of test done and today we have an appointment w a kidney specialist. She's on antibiotics now but now I need to call her pediatrician n let her know. I can't wrap my head around finding her a gynecologist now. I'm considering or really feel forced to put her on birth control. It's alot dealing w both the health dangers that come w having sex and also the emotional attachment she has w him now. I was just like her and got soo caught up in him and as a grown woman now I see how he played a role in my life that to this day makes me feel unwanted. I know he'll hurt her and it's not going to last. Idk what I'm getting trying to get at, I don't have any questions that need to b answered just needed to vent. I could type ALL day......it seems to help a lil. This is just where I'm at right now w her...
This was just ANOTHER issue I'm going through.
I have a beautiful home, nice car, 3 beautiful daughters, good health, planning a wedding for New Years Eve, but I'm not happy...my fiance whom I've been w 7yrs...(LIVES) well works out of town in Illinois and has been for the past 9 months! He left a week after I had my baby. I know it's to support us, we'll at first that's what it felt like. Now we constantly argue cause it seems like he's living this separate life. When we argue he just won't call or pick up...I think he likes it over there better. He comes hm every month only for a couple of days. I feel alone and going through all this by myself. Hes paying for our wedding.
But I'm not even sure we should even do it. Ok I'm totally going left...I'm just going through a lot in my mind and now I feel like I lost my little girls innocence too.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Chet - posted on 09/18/2014

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You sound like a wonderfully thoughtful, caring and self aware mom. Find some comfort in knowing that your daughter feels close enough to you to tell you what's going on. I know it's a lot to come to terms with, and that you're dealing with lots of other things too, but it's better to know. It's better that you can help her to get birth control, and to see a gynecologist, and be responsible.

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