She is too young to have a baby. should keep the baby or give it up for adoption

Liana - posted on 04/10/2011 ( 12 moms have responded )

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she is teenage girl. she is in love with him since they were 10 years old. should keep the baby or give baby up for adoption?

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Jodi - posted on 04/10/2011

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I actually disagree with Schyla that this isn't something that is also a decision you should be involved in. Unfortunately, depending on the age of the teenage girl, you are most likely going to be the one paying for and raising this child, so we have to be practical. How is your daughter going to be supporting this child financially, how is she going to finish school, how is she going to be able to do all of this and also be able to raise a baby? You also have to give consideration to how much YOU are prepared to take on and make sure that this is clear to her when she is making her decision. I think it is just really important for her to face those really difficult practical questions, and for her to assess whether she thinks she will be able to provide for her baby in a way that is fair to the child.



So while I respect that ultimately it is the mother's choice, as a teen (particularly if she is really young), it is unlikely that she will be doing this herself, and everyone needs to be realistic in giving that their consideration.

Schyla - posted on 04/10/2011

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Whatever her age is in the end she's the one that's going to make the choice and if she's been pushed into a decistion she'll ultamitly end up resenting the choice she made 13 or 19 she's going to have to make the choice and she's going to need her mother no matter what choice she makes I stand by what I said She made a grown up choice to do a grown up thing and now she is faced with grown up consequences of couse she needs to be given the down a dirty of raising a little one and she needs to know that (depending on the age were talking about here) in all likelihood the father of this child won't stick around and if you personally do not want to end up the care giver of this child then you need to lay out her responsibilitys right now. but again I say it's her choice and you'll come out the better person if you just support her give her her options go and talk to adoption counselors but you are not the one that's going to make the choice and if you don't want your child to resent you in the end then don't push her

Sarah - posted on 04/10/2011

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I need a lot more information to make a decision on this one. Afterall, there's a lot of give in "teen" are we talking 13 or 19? If they're young teens I dont see how they can take on the responsibility, however, IMO the older the teen the greater the likelihood of success. And if one of your concerns is if they stay in love, again, I would want to know how old they are b/c realisticallly, how many of us are married to the boys we liked at 15?
Also, I agree with Jodi- if she's very young, it may well become Your responsibility so I do think you should have some say in the decision making. It may ultimately be her decision, but you're vote carries some weight, especially if you're the one footing the bills.
Additionally, what does the boy say about all this?

Schyla - posted on 04/10/2011

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how old is she? and a gentle reminder it's her choice and no one else can tell her what to do about it no matter how old she is. If she wants to place her child (never say give it up because adoptions today cab be very open) for adoption that's her right and if she chooses to keep and raise the baby herself that's her choice either option is difficult and emotional and she should NEVER be pressured either way it sounds like she needs support and love and she's going to need it no matter what SHE chooses this isn't something you or any other mother on here can make for her and despite who she is to you personally all you should be doing is supporting her.

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Jackieblu - posted on 04/12/2011

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Depends how old, how mature etc.... I was I teenage mom, and Thank God I have her....

Juanita - posted on 04/12/2011

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A baby is a gift from God and this is the time your daughter needs you the most so I think you should be there for her I know God will provide and make a way for you both and if your daughter is ambitious she can still go back to school and turn her life around. If she gives away the child or abort it she will live with regrets for the rest of her life i am sure if your speak with the guy's family they can give a helping hand after all it's their grand child too please pray and ask God for direction. My sister had her first child when she was 13 years old by the time she was 24 she had the fifth one as family we were not pleased with her but we all helped today her kids all have a trade or a career she is a business woman and had the same man since she was 12 years old so you see God can make a way. All the best in whatever you choose

Bonnie - posted on 04/11/2011

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I think it depends on the situation. How old are they? Are they old enough that they are going to get a place to live on their own. If so, I think it should be completely up to the parents of the baby what they would like to do. If the girl is just planning on living with the baby at home and live off her parents, I think it should be up to them.

Jenni - posted on 04/11/2011

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It's ultimately her choice. No one else can make the decision for her. She is the one who will have to live the consequences. I would provide her with both sides of the story so she can make a non-bias opinion. Have her talk to other teen moms about their decision to keep their baby and teen moms who decided to take the route of adoption. Maybe having them share their experiences with her will help her understand what she may be in for with either decision she makes.

She made the choice to engage in irresponsible activities and she has to be the one to take on the responsibility for her actions. Whatever her decision may be. If she doesn't and you take responsibility she will be more likely to make the same mistake twice.

Charlotte - posted on 04/11/2011

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Keep it! She must face up to the concequences of her actions. She's not the first and won't be the last teenage mom. A part of her must want to keep the child as she didn't opt for an abortion.

Joanna - posted on 04/10/2011

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What does she want to do? Does she have the support she needs to raise the baby?
If she wants to keep the baby and you force her to give it up, both of you will most likely live a life of regret. How old is she? I know several women who have birth as teenagers (one as young as 13) who turned out to be fabulous moms. With the right support, she can do it.

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