She (mother in law) knows to much!

Crystal - posted on 07/04/2013 ( no moms have responded yet )

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Ever since I was a little girl, I had always wanted to reside in another state other then the one I grew up in. The moment finally happened in my early 30's with my husband and daughter. I moved from Northern California to Arizona. At first, we purchased our property and then my in laws purchased second and purchased there home 5 houses down from where I live on the same street. I left all my family and friends that I had grown up with to be in this situation. Unfortunately, I made a bad decision. We came here to live a new life and my in laws came here to retire. Every thing went ok for the first couple of years and then things went to all hell. My MIL does not keep her self busy at all. She spent a lot of time making smart remarks about the way we do things with our lives. Both my in laws I believe did not want us to have children. The only reason I can determine this is because my MIL approached me at my sister in laws baby shower and made gesture that my husband and I should not have any children because we might end up with a bad seed and that they may hold us back from our dreams. She stated that we should just be a couple, buy a house and travel and have a bunch of fun. I should have seen this red flag. I have now lived in my home for about 15 years and another child later and I feel so distressed that I have given my children these people for grandparents. They have a $30.000 built in pool and hot tub and they never ask my children to go swimming. I't only been all but 10 times that they have gone there to do that. They made it really clear that they do not do any baby sitting and that no one was going to spend the night. I feel like such a bad mother right now that I have fallen into depression really bad. My MIL always ask my husband how much money I make and how much we get back on our tax returns every year. Anything financially, she always has the nerve to ask these personal questions. On the sad note, my husband gives them the right answers. When ever I have family or friends from out of town come and visit me, she always wants to know who, what, where, when, how, and how they financed there trips to visit me. I"m on the verge of hating this woman. She never ask me personally, but she as hell ask my spouse and children or others to find out this information. I"m upset that she tries to discourage college for my daughter by means of suggesting that she get a job and have 3 room mates and just live life and not to have any children at a young age after she graduates from high school. I feel like I have not privacy by the pure fact that my mother in law looks out of home to see if our cars are there. If there not, that is when she calls my house and makes gesture that she can tell if were home or not and lets us know about it. I really need some advice about this matter because I'm starting to feel like I have no way out of this. I want to move but due to the low market value of homes, I would be upside down on that. My most recent in counter with my MIL was when she called me up and asking me what my husband social security number was so that she can call his former job to find out how much retirement he was going to receive in his future. At that point, I expressed a silent anger. I did not give her the info, but I did tell my husband that she was not to have this info because it did not concern her. If my husband had answered the phone, I know he would have given her that info. I told him I will leave him if he answers her questions about our finances. The only time they are in my home is on my children's birthdays and Christmas eve doing there duties. I hate them and do not know how to handle this! Someone please give me some positive feed back about how to handle these people.

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