[deleted account] ( 6 moms have responded )
Hello everyone. I just need a little advice. The father of my child and I are no longer together. We were working together okay as coparents given the situation and our personal issues. My daughter just turned 2 months old this past Sunday, and he has not been around going on 3 weeks now. I filed for child support almost a month ago and we are scheduled for mediation on September 30th. Originally, we were not going to go through the courts to settle anything, but instead settle it amongst ourselves. When I went to drop her off to him a few weekends ago, I brought up the amount again to him and he did not agree with it. I only asked for $500 per month. This is because I will only be working part time and that will help cover the costs of child care the days I do work, her formula, diapers, wipes, and other necessities. He makes more than enough to cover that, but does not agree with that amount saying its too much and the most I should expect is between $300-$400 and that I can work more too and that she is my child as well and I have to help take care of her. Well of course I believe that is true too, but I am paying for some of her necessities already and also providing a home and I am with her majority of the time. He has stated multiple times he would do anything to help and would take care of us both, and now that I have set a dollar amount he thinks that's too much to ask of him. He has his own bills I know, but he also helps support his mother in Mexico and his brother that lives with him. What is bothering me more than anything though is that he has said multiple times during my pregnancy, "if you want to go live your life, just give her to me and I will take care of her." He made the mistake of saying this again after I had her because I wanted to attend church and he didn't come to my house on time to take care of our daughter because of work and I was upset because during that time everything was on his schedule, his work schedule, and would only see her when it was convenient for him basically. I told him to never say that to me again because I would never give her over to him. When I went to drop her off that weekend and explained to him the cost of supporting her and what I was paying, he laughed at me, didn't believe the amount in rent I was paying (I currently live with my mother and help with bills) and said he could get a house and provide a home for her, and I could just give her to him. I told him I did not trust him and felt like he was up to something and would take her from me if he had the chance. I also told him I would be filing for child support. I had a bad feeling and chose to not leave her there and took her back home with me. That was 3 weeks ago and I haven't heard anything from him. I don't know if I was right, scared him off, or if this comes down to the money...im confused and want him to be a part of her life..I am not keeping her from him, but cannot continue to be told, "Just give her to me" and sit back and be okay with it. I feel like if he really wants to be a part of her life, he will make the effort. I also feel like his comments are a threat and I have to keep my eyes wide open. Am I wrong for feeling this way, and should I contact him to see her?