Should I continue to let him see my son?

Katy - posted on 06/25/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )




I found out the my ex is my sons father. Before we found this out he was suing me for DNA, custody, and child support. We got a dna test saying he is the father, since the day we found out, I have let him in my home for 2 visits(6 to 7hrs at a time) to see his son and have tried to skype him when possible. My lawyer and I had to file for a change of venue since he did not file the suit were our son is living, when we filed the suit I went ahead and counter sued him for the same thing. I don't think he knows I did this and he tried calming to me all he sued me for was dna. I typed up personal agreements as far as visitation and support goes to keep things out of court and to be fare since courts can be harsh on the father. He didn't like the agreements and he is now saying he dropped the suit...he is not making sense. I do not trust him. I tried letting him skype with his son today but he claims he was with his lawyer..... I feel like he is trying to do things behind my back so I am now going to find a lawyer in the county i live in and go ahead with the suit for child support and custodial custody. I don't want to take his son away but the way he treats me and my family while he is here visiting is very rude and sketchy. If I do this should I continue the visits? his family and friends want me to go to a baby shower but I don't feel comfortable with it because of the suit and the way he has been acting. I tried to be nice and make sure he could see his son but I think he is wanting more than that and I cant give him more since my son is only 4mo old and 100% breast fed.....what to do?


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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/25/2012




I agree with Dawn. You have no right to keep that child from his proven biological father, no matter how much you may dislike the man. Courts are more than fair these days, and if you are the one providing resistance, it could be you that gets less time with your son, should the courts see you as uncooperative.

He's stepped up, sounds like from the start. In order for you to request limited or supervised visits you'll need to have solid proof of his delinquency. And that cannot be "he treats me and my family very sketchily". That just doesn't cut it. Is he a drug user? Drinker? abuser? Proven? Then you have ammo. Until then, let him see his son.

Most judges will not restrict visitation because you exclusively breastfeed, either.

You feel like he's going behind your back. Well of course you do, he's your ex. He has every right (especially since he's the proven father) to get a lawyer and go to court for his visitation.

Dove - posted on 06/25/2012




Your child has a right to visits with his father even if his father is a jerk to you. Some courts can be harsh on the father, but more and more courts these days like to go with 50/50 custody whenever possible. Your ex may know this. If this does go to court he will get visits (unless you can prove he is an actual danger to the child and not just a jerk to you and your family) and you, most likely, will not be allowed to be present at those visits and would have to pump for your ex to be able to bottle feed his son.

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