should i feel bad that her father dont see her

Brenda - posted on 06/01/2011 ( 11 moms have responded )

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i have a 16 month old baby girl her father dosent do anything for her or even see her that offten inless i make the effort for him and his family to see her. they say since i moved i should bring her down to see all of them. should i feel bad that i do? I dont drive ans they do. im paying for everything she needs wit the help of my famliy. i ve told them they are all welcome at my house anytime to see her. just asked to be informed first. i have even given them drections how to get from their house to mine. i dont see how i can make it any easier for them.

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Well, if he moved away then if you were to go to court... either he would have to pay for all travel expenses or it would be split. It would NEVER be entirely your responsibility. Hang in there. It's extremely frustrating at times, but it does get easier to deal w/...

Sharon - posted on 06/02/2011

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I hope you're keeping track of this. File an "abandonment" case with the courts so you can have his rights taken away.

It doesn't sound like you've moved that far away.

No, you should not feel guilty. They should feel like assholes for not trying harder. Its not on you. you're trying hard to better yourself and provide for your daughter and they aren't doing jack.

Stop making it easy for them and take of yourself and your daughter.

Louise - posted on 06/01/2011

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It is up to them to see your daughter and not for you to run around making things easier for them. If they can not be bothered now then in 10 years time they will be even less bothered. Stop trying to force a relationship for your daughter it wont last. Write them a letter saying they are all welcome but you will not be bringing your daughter to them anymore. If they wish to establish a relationship with your little girl it is up to them to prove it. Then get on with your life and find yourself a nice fella and step dad for your daughter. I was raised by my step dad and I love him dearly, now my blood father wants contact after 31 years so it is never to late for your daughter. Move on with your life they had their chance and now need to prove to you that your daughter does factor in their lives.

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Brenda - posted on 06/02/2011

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yhank you i hop it gets easier to deal with. i mesn i have my family that helps me alot.

Brenda - posted on 06/02/2011

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thank you. he left but after he left i broke up wit him. cause he wasnt helping with her or spending time wit her and was treating me bad. he says since i spilt her famliy up i should be the one bringing her to everyone.

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If he left.... it's his responsibility to come and see his daughter. If he REALLY wants to, he will make it happen. You sound like you are being very accomodating. The rest is up to them.

Brenda - posted on 06/02/2011

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thank you. they call once in awhile. but thats it and tell me its my reasonabilty to bring her down to them if i want them to so her. i just dont want to be the only one putting in the effort any more. its a little over whelming at times.

Gwen - posted on 06/02/2011

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You can't force the relationship. If his daughter is important to him, he will make the effort. It sounds like you have been more than open and cooperative. The ball is in their court. Don't let them make you feel bad. He is an adult, perfectly capable of pitching in w/ driving, expenses, etc. If he and his family choose to walk away, it is NOT YOUR FAULT.

Your situation is a lot like mine. Father lives 700 miles away w/ contact about once a year and his local family hasn't contacted me about her in years. I had to learn not to chase them. They know the door is open and they've made no effort. Their choice. Their loss.

Brenda - posted on 06/02/2011

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thank you. that does make a lot of seance. i just dont wont her getting hurt over this and losing that part of her family, but if your right if it dont matter to them then i gusse it really shouldnt be a big deal. they are the ones who chose not to be around anymore.

Brenda - posted on 06/01/2011

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i shouldexplain a little more. im work part time and going back to school to graduate. his the one who left when things got rought. he wasnt working and only partying and hanging with insted of helping with her or looking for work. he treated me like crap and still does to this day.

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