Roxanne - posted on 05/08/2017 ( 10 moms have responded )
Hello everyone, I am new to this circle and would like your opinion.
About 6 months ago my 12 year old daughter came to me to tell me that my husband of 6 years (her step father) had been texting her inappropriately telling her that he was "in love with her" I immediately took her phone and saw all her messages where he tells her how beautiful she is and how he wants to have time alone with her etc etc, where she hardly answers him and refuses to spend time with him and all this made me understand why she was acting cold with him and how he had been acting towards her. He was suddenly very attentive with her, always buying her things, always taking her to games or friends homes, but at the same time he was also always angry with her, nothing she did was ever right, she was suddenly rude and had terrible behavior under his eyes and hated that she spend so much time with her friends which I couldn't understand why all this would make him so mad...our relationship was also suffering due to his non stop yelling and accusing me of spoiling her rotten etc. This had been happening for the last 2 or 3 months and she was finally fed up and took the courage to tell me. She also told me how he had touch her inappropriately and kept wanting time alone with her for more. I immediately confronted him and kicked him out of the house and the next day went to the police and he was charged with 2 counts of sexual aggravated assault to a minor. Since then he fled the country to his home town and is still wanted for those charges. He however has been in contact with me asking me for forgiveness and telling me how he has changed etc. I feel that I can't trust him anymore and could never be a family with him again. I have had horrible guilt for what my child went through and feel that he will never change. Even though there was no sex or physical abuse, the fact that he could say those things to a child just makes me sick. He since then has apologized many times and says he is a changed person and that nothing physical ever happened, he also says that he wants to be a family again and has been supporting us financially, he wants me to drop the charges or help him solve this as he says we over did everything and that my daughter invented the inappropriate touching. I do believe my daughter and i have such a hard time believing him and forgiving him. Do you all think this could be forgiven and start a life again with him? I just don't see how....I know time heals and he says he has changed because God has forgiven him and he has turned his life around which i still doubt. Has anyone been through this before and has been able to redo their lives together? is there such a thing?