Should I give my child my girlfriend's last name?

Ashley - posted on 03/07/2013 ( 7 moms have responded )

2

0

0

Hello, my name is Ashley and I'm a 22 year old mother. My daughter is 2 this months old. I have a girlfriend and we have been together for the past 2 years. She has done everything that my baby's father hasn't. Me and my baby's father broke up when I was 4 months pregnant, after he started putting his hands on me and I got with my girlfriend when the child was 1 month old. So my daughter knows me and my girlfriend as her parents. I'm not saying my baby's father isn't in my child's life but he is young and he would rather run the streets then to see his child like he should. He only see's her maybe 2 times a month. My question is: do you think it would be wrong for me to want to change my baby's last name to my girlfriends? By the way she calls both of us mommy...no need for the negative feed back about my relationship I'm just asking if it's wrong to want to give my child my girlfriend's last name. She is the one who takes care of her and does anything for my child since we started dating.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Dove - posted on 03/07/2013

11,896

0

1350

Twice a month is actually a TON more than some kids see their father....

What would be the purpose of changing the child's name?

Yes, I think it would be wrong... and pointless. A name is just a name... Changing it wouldn't change her relationship with any of the people in her life.

If you want to do it anyway though.... Talk to a lawyer. It could end up being quite expensive and a court battle if the father objects.

Dove - posted on 03/07/2013

11,896

0

1350

Wait... does the baby have YOUR last name.... or her father's last name? I just assumed she had his, but after Little Miss posted... I realize I could be wrong.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/07/2013

21,273

9

3058

At that point, I am not sure I would be giving my child anyones name but my own. I had always imagined my kids with my name, but I got married and indeed changed my name. Why can't your baby just keep your name? Unless your girlfriend is going to adopt, and you legally marry and take her name, I don't really see the point. That means your own child and you will have different last names until you get married. I think it is great that you found someone in your life to love your child as much as you do, but I still don't see the point in changing the babies name unless you are changing yours. I would want the same last name as my child.

Kelsey - posted on 03/07/2013

194

0

55

Personally, I would keep the baby's last name as is or if you're wanting to change it; change it to yours. Even though the father has nothing to do with your daughter eventually down the road, he has rights and can petition to change her name to his name.

7 Comments

View replies by

Kristi - posted on 03/09/2013

1,355

3

78

Why would you change your child's last name to someone whom you are dating? I know several gay couples who have married and none of them have changed their last names. None of them have children so I don't know what they will do when/if that comes up, probably hyphenate would be my guess.

It is a grand gesture to your girlfriend. I wished I could have changed my daughter's last name to her step-father's because he was always a father to her. But guess what, we're separated now and we were together over 7 years. So then whose name would I have given her?

As the other ladies have stated, if she has her father's last name, you will have to have his permission and you will still have to go before a judge to get that done legally, even if you want to change it to your last name (providing it isn't her last name already). Men tend to be prideful even if they don't give two shits about their kid. My daughter's father is a prime example.

You should leave it be. My daughter knows who she is as an individual despite her last name and the fact that she knows her father is a pyscho loser, who will never come near us again. He's still her father. That's that.

Firebird - posted on 03/08/2013

2,660

30

521

My kid only sees her dad twice a month. He's her favourite person in the world. There's no point in changing her name, really. Besides, you'd need her dad's permission to do it, and that doesn't usually happen.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/07/2013

21,273

9

3058

Good point Dove. Didn't even think the baby would have the fathers name.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms