Should I have a third baby?

Jennifer - posted on 04/12/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I am really surprised at the fact that this morning while playing with my two girls, Anna going on 2 Years in June and Emily 8 months, it hit me that I wanted a third baby. I am really torn because I dont know if we can handle it financially. As you can see my girls are really close in age they are only 14months apart and if we do decide to have a third I want them to be close in age as well. But in the same sense there is so much to consider, money, stress, etc. My situation is this, I am a stay at home mom and my husband works. In the summer he works 7 days a week 10 hour days and usually second or third shift so for the most part I am a single mom for half the year. He makes good money in the summer which is the only reason I am a stay at home mom now. I know that we can love a third child just as much but financially can we handle it? Am I nuts to even consider having a third child? I have been thinking about it and if I was to get pregnant within the next 4-5 months by the time the third baby comes Anna will be going on three and Emily going on two so that doesnt seem so bad. HOpefully Anna will be potty trained or close to it and Emily not far behind. They obviously will both be off formula so that saves money there. I know I can handle the newborn phases (not sleeping through the night). I just am really stuck does anyone have any suggestions on this?

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Lisa - posted on 01/22/2014

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relying on WIC , meaning taxpayers and government is ridiculous to the person that made that comment. If you can't afford it, close your legs. I don't feel like picking up the bill and neither do other hard working responsible Americans.

Denia - posted on 04/12/2010

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You already know the answer to this question. In your heart you have made the choice already. If you quickly had to answer without thinking about it the following question> Are you going to have any more kids? What is the automatic unthought response. And there is your answer. We have 3 kids. We were only just talking about if we wanted another one when I found out that I was already pregnant with number three. Sure life would be a lot easier with only 2 children. And having three is really hard work especially breastfeeding and toilet training at the same time. Most nights I don't get a lot of sleep. But my third child is a really laid back easy going lovely natured little boy. He is 11 mos old now and I wouldn't give him back for anything. And they do eventually grow up. Having two is much easier and to have another one actually adds more work than 1 + 1 = 2 but 2 + 1 = 4 as far as ratio of workload goes. You end up more organised than you ever thought you had to be. But all the kisses cuddles smiles and laughter make all the tough times worthwhile.

Tiffany - posted on 04/12/2010

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Go for it. If u really want a 3rd one and u wait, youll get use to the kids being older and u wont want another one cuz ull get use to more you time. There are plenty of government assistance programs. Like WIC which takes a BIG income to not qualify for. It provids food for u while u are pregnant and for 6 months after the baby is born and it provids food for the baby from birth to 5 years. If ur not on it now with the other kids u really should look into it. Wic drops the amount of ur groc bill dramatically. Then there is food stamps. HUD and all sorts of programs. People are ashamed to be on the programs but thats what the programs are for. The resources are there for us to use. Im not saying pourposly becme pregnant so that u can get these things, but if u see u cant make it well, apply for them. There are bent and dent stores where u can buy diapers food cloths. There are plenty of ways. I have a 2 year old and a 7 month old. I want a 3rd but my 7 month old is a lil too clingy for me to have one now. You could always wait like i did. I got preg the same month my son turned 12 months old and they were suppose to be 22 months apart but lil lady decided to come early and they are 20 months apart. He is old enough to wat to help me so it isnt that bad. When u have the 3rd youll have 2 lil helpers at home with u.

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One more isn't going to be that costly now. You have all the toys, cot, pushchairs, clothes (if it's another girl) etc. And if you breastfeed you'll save on formula cost. It'll get more expensive when they get older but by then you could go back to work. Having said that, three young children is hard work and if your husband works long hours make sure you have a good support network. Good luck!

Dawn - posted on 04/12/2010

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Well, without knowing your specific financial situation, no one can really advise you as to whether or not having a third baby it is affordable, but it probably is if you are willing to make tough choices :).



I will tell you that I am currently pregnant with baby #4 and a stay at home mom. We make under $50,000 a year, have two vehicles that are fully paid off, own our own home (with mortgage) and have no other debt. For us, the key is having no other debt, or we could not afford it. Even so, it is difficult. My kids wear a lot of hand me downs and we don't go out to eat much. However, we are happy and comfortable with the decisions we need to make to have our 3, soon to be 4 kids. Mine aren't quite as close in age as yours (oldest will have just turned 7 when baby #4 is born), but we did decide on #4 coming NOW because of financial reasons....how long we could afford for me to remain a stay at home mom.



That being said, we don't save a lot for retirement or college for the kids at this point...we have some from when I was working before having kids (we waited a bit for kids), but the rest of it will have to wait until I get back to work.



Basically, it's a hugely personal decision. If the decision is solely based on finances, the answer is "no" every time. Kids cost money. Personally, I think they are worth it :).

Dawn - posted on 04/12/2010

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Well, without knowing your specific financial situation, no one can really advise you as to whether or not having a third baby it is affordable, but it probably is if you are willing to make tough choices :).



I will tell you that I am currently pregnant with baby #4 and a stay at home mom. We make under $50,000 a year, have two vehicles that are fully paid off, own our own home (with mortgage) and have no other debt. For us, the key is having no other debt, or we could not afford it. Even so, it is difficult. My kids wear a lot of hand me downs and we don't go out to eat much. However, we are happy and comfortable with the decisions we need to make to have our 3, soon to be 4 kids. Mine aren't quite as close in age as yours (oldest will have just turned 7 when baby #4 is born), but we did decide on #4 coming NOW because of financial reasons....how long we could afford for me to remain a stay at home mom.



That being said, we don't save a lot for retirement or college for the kids at this point...we have some from when I was working before having kids (we waited a bit for kids), but the rest of it will have to wait until I get back to work.



Basically, it's a hugely personal decision. If the decision is solely based on finances, the answer is "no" every time. Kids cost money. Personally, I think they are worth it :).

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