Should I have an abortion?

Devil In The Blue Dress - posted on 11/02/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )




Me & my baby's father were just dating when I got pregnant. When I first told him he freaked out and didn't call me for four days, I didn't want to push so I waited then he said he wanted the baby. The next month he went with me to my doctors visit and was their for our first sonogram. We then spent the whole day together, I thought he was ready for a relationship & was so happy I was going to have my little family. On Our next visit he didn't show said his car broke down, the third visit he text me he was hungover from the previous night. We then spoke i told him i was in love with him. he said he liked me but was having a hard time showing it. A month ago he said he was thinking & doesn't want to be with me that he doesn't feel an desire or connection with me. even told me his ex was more passionate. said that it was just sex when we conceived that he didn't make this baby with love. he said he will be there when his son comes. I feel so hurt & i told him so he then said i was being immature. I'm feeling resentful and want to be able to count on him but its hard when he's basically pushing us away. I feel needy and sexually frustrated. We have been apart for a little over a month. I am now 4months pregnant what can I say or do to help him realize I need him to be more involved? We are both first time parents. Please any suggestions


[momoftwo] - posted on 11/02/2013




Well you're 4 months now so you're passed the point of the abortion idea, thank goodness. Having an abortion would probably be the worst idea in the world. You can still have your family but maybe down the road with someone a lot less foolish.
All you should be doing is focusing on your baby and yourself, but don't worry you will meet Mr. Right eventually and you'll forget that loser. Hopefully he will still be a part of the babies life though.

Sarah - posted on 11/02/2013




So you think that just because he does not want to be with you that you should kill the baby?! That makes no sense. You do need to look at if parenting is the plan for you, but instead of killing the baby why not look into adoption if parenting would not be the best choice. He has stated and is showing you by his actions that he is not interested in carrying on a relationship with you. I can understand your hurt, but life does go on. He is not the only guy in the world (even though it may feel like it now) you will meet someone else. You do need to look at what resources you have and how you will go about raising this child and if you are able to and if this is what would be best for both you and this child. If you feel that you are not able to do this and this is not what is best for this child look into adoption. Adoption is showing your child that you love them SO much that you are wanting the VERY best for them and since you can't give them that you are placing them with a family that can. That is the ultimate action/love of a mother. Right now it may seem like abortion is an easy answer.....but that will live with you forever! You will never look at another baby the same way. You will always wonder what your child would look like, be like, etc. You will remember how old your child would be and when you look at other kids that are that same age it will be heartbreaking. Abortion is a very final and permanent thing. Once you do it you can never take it back. When you place a child for adoption you have the option of still being in that child's life. You can visit with that child, see that child grow up, and get to know that child. Adoption is not has it's heartaches, but the child is still alive and you can still have a relationship with that child.......with abortion you can't.

Isabel - posted on 11/02/2013




im not in any position to tell anything, but i was in a position closely related to this,and ithought to myself like who cares if this guy doesnt want to be with me, im going to have this child with or without him, being only 16 at the time this was a tough desicion knowing i really liked this guy and i only been with him for a while, but he too wasnt to sure, but you got to think about it, just because some guy doesnt want to be apart of your life with child does that now mean you need to have an abortion? let him kno how you feel, if he does want to be apart of your childs life then tell him to be more involved in not just your childs but your life as well, because if you have this child no matter what he is stuck with you if he likes it or not. but he doesnt want to be apart of it then hey his loss now its up to you if your willing to have this child on your own, there is plenty of single moms out there, and there is plenty of men out there who will take you as you are even with a baby, this about it hard, because babies are truly a blessing, i wish you the best of luck.


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LalaBoom - posted on 11/18/2013




First, I'm pretty sure you're past your time to have a legal abortion.

Second, based on what you said, its pretty clear he isn't abandoning the baby- he just wants nothing to do with you at a romantic level. You cannot force him to love you back, and you cannot project his rejection of you onto your baby. This is a common scenario and the biggest indicator of "babymama drama."

Enjoy your pregnancy mama and allow him the chance to be there since it is his child. Once baby arrives, file hard and file fast (support and custody/visitation).

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