Should I have not confronted to my friend when his son hit my daughter again?

Ruixue - posted on 06/16/2014 ( no moms have responded yet )




My 20 months old daughter got a big hard slap on her face by good friends' son again, he's 4.5 year old again! She was tring to touch the iPad the boy was playing, he did not want her to so pushed her away with his body, then she hit him on his shoulder (I'm not making her action look right, hitting is wrong. But it is fair to say the hit was definitely not hard), surprisingly quick, he slapped hard and loud back on her face. She of course burst to tears, probably got a fright too. The whole thing was seen by the boy's dad and myself. He took him to another room immidiately to tell him off, and I held my daught up to comfort her....5 minutes later, my friend brough the boy back and asked him to say 'Sorry' to both my daughter and me, which he did. At the same time, he pointed out my daughter also hit him first. I puzzled, for a while, the pictures of the incidents two weeks ago were going through my mind - the boy bite my daughter twice in one evening, possibly a third time which happened before the two times, but no one saw it that time, all we heard was she suddenly cried out loud, and the boy was red.... After that evening, we started being quite worried about our daughter being hit or bite by the boy, and we realised it's a hard situation especially we are all good friends....The hitting thing by the little boy happened a few times in the past, we had hoped it was just "kids being kids", and tried not to make it bigger than necessary. But this last incident, additional to the biting recently, I felt by just telling him to apologise and give my daughter a kiss after he's hurt her meanly is not going to provent the same behaviour happening again. I had many questions, and I decided to raise to him "Why is M~~ hitting L~~ so often lately". All of sudden, his face changed to someone I never knew of, he said in an angrey voice, "I don't agree with you, everytime you think it was M~~, L~~ hit him first, eah! Also last time, everytime L~~ cried you looked at M~~, just like he did something wrong!..." I stopped him this point "that's because he bite her...?". "No, he didn't! We looked at her arm, there was no toothmark, if he did there would've been tooth mark." No, there wasn't tooth mark, but that spot of her arm was red. It is also winter here, we keep a couple of cotton clothes on her. Anyway, by then he was very heated, and I was shocked by his words and attitude towards the incidents. I said "I am very, very sorry that you've taken this this way", and I left with my daughter in tears.

I cried after, I was so shocked by our friend, I guess disppointed too. I'm also extremly sad this had happened between us. What can we do?

Maybe I shouldn't have asked that question?

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