should i have to call him every month for money?

RAQUEL - posted on 03/05/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )




every month i have to call my daugther father for money,he always say his a man but you know something hes not a man.he barly see her bscause you can count it on both hands and feet how many times he has seen her .i use to bust my ass to take her to see him until i get tired of that.i have never put child support on him but sometime it feel like the child support is on me and i have my child.i'm just tired of his bull shit every month,he also have two other girls by two other women.should he give up his rights to my husband who has been doing everything for her since the age of 4yrs old.why do i have to call this fool everytime for money,but now i can't get intouch with because hie cell phone is not working so what do you think of that


Kristin - posted on 03/05/2010




No, you shouldn't have to call him every month. If you want the child support, you should pursue it through the system though. Otherwise, just let it go. It sounds like you have a REAL father for your daughter now in the man you married. If your husband wants to adopt her, then look into having her biological father give up his rights.

You have done what you can to get him involved in her life. He's the one falling short so don't feel obligated to do more. If you do pursue anything through the courts, do not deny visitation (unless concerned for her safety; drunk, stoned, etc. and then document it) or demand money for him to see his daughter. It will just make you look bad.

Basically, this is a really complicated problem and you need help from people who deal with this kind of thing all the time. If nothing else, talking with them can't hurt. Good luck.


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Meagan - posted on 10/22/2010




Does your husband WANT to adopt her? If so, then absolutely get in touch with your ex and remove his rights, as long as it's something that you want. This guy sounds like he would be more then willing to give up his rights, so go for it.

If you don't want to do that, then go after him for child support. I know in my state, you can get back owed child support, and any money that was given without a child support order is concidered a gift and NOT included in the back owed amount. (Yeah, the laws here are pretty dang tough. lol)

Ultimately it's up to you and your hubby on what you want to do. But, if he doesnt legally adopt her, then file for child support.

Jodi - posted on 03/05/2010




No, you shouldn't have to call him every month. My ex originally promised to pay me when we split, and I used to have to chase him for it all the time. In the end, I put it into the system so I wouldn't have to. He hated me for it, but I tell you, the headaches are now gone!!!

It sounds to me, with his cell phone now not working, he is trying to get out of paying. Time for you to put it into the system so you don't have to chase after him all the time.

Shelley - posted on 03/05/2010




do you have a maintence enforcement program if you do join up so you do not have to discuss money with him

Carolee - posted on 03/05/2010




Take him to court! That's really the only way you can be sure to get what you need for your daughter. And, when it's through the courts, you know not only WHEN the money will come, but you will know exactly how much!

Tracy - posted on 03/05/2010




You need to go through the system. That way he can't dodge you, because he'll know darn well if he doesn't pay up you can sic the state on him.

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