Should I have to do ALL of the housework?

Ashley - posted on 01/31/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )




My boyfriend works in a factory 55 hours a week. I work part-time at a fast food resteraunt 15-20 hours a week. Should I do all of the housework or should he help? What if I didn't work at all? Should he still help?


Sophia - posted on 01/31/2013




My husband works about 42.5hrs a week and I'm on maternity leave right now. Generally, I do most of the house work. However, he does help quite a bit. He does the garbage during garbage day. He usually does laundry even though I fold all of it. He also does all the yard work. I generally do all the cooking, daily cleaning and maintenance. I try to do most of the house work so the few hours he's home and our son is awake, he spends most of that time with him.

I guess it all comes down to what housework you need to do in general and how old your child or children are.

Liz - posted on 01/31/2013




I think it's a question of what works for the both of you as a team and doesn't leave either of you unhappy.

For example, I am at home. My daughter is in day care and my husband is at work. I'm trying to get a business off the ground from home as a textile artist specialising in medieval embroidery techniques. I was spending about 12 hours a day doing this, but I got severe carpal tunnel syndrome and, while I am recovering nicely with therapeutic stretching, still can't average more than about 8 hours at the moment.

Meanwhile, I do pretty much all of the home chores but there are things that are my husband's: any yard work, house maintenance, putting out poison for the mice and the squirrel in the attic (I kid you not on the latter) and taking out the trash are some examples. He will also cook if I'm sick and will often help with cleaning up dishes/emptying the dishwasher etc. If I ask him to do something else in order to help me out, he'll usually do it unless there's a good reason why he can't.

I definitely do about 80% of the chores, if not more, but it works for us this way.

The key is definitely communication and negotiation with your boyfriend.


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Dove - posted on 01/31/2013




It would make sense for you to do most of the work, but there is no reason he can't do a sink full of dishes or something when he is home and make sure he takes care of his own stuff (trash to the trash can, dishes to the sink, etc... no reason for him to leave his stuff around.. if he does).

A couple should be a team and work as a team and if one has a weakness (or a strength) in a particular area... they should both take that into account and adjust their expectations accordingly.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 01/31/2013




I was a stay at home mom for almost 4 years. My husband commuted 3 hours per day. I would do my damnedest to get everything done, but he never batted an eye at helping out.

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