Should I Invite my Awful Sister In Law to my Baby Shower?

[deleted account] ( 6 moms have responded )

I have a sister in law who fights with everyone (even slapped a relative at someones bachelorette party because she felt the woman was getting too much attention). She screams at people, lies about people, has called my husband curse words in front of our kids, has accused me of not allowing our kids to see her but apologized for lying when confronted. She said it was because "You don't pay enough attention to me." The worst was when she tried to poison my own kid against me by saying that I was keeping him from her. He knew she was lying because the truth is that HE wants nothing to do with her despite all of my nagging him to call/visit or message her on facebook. She seems obsessed with my kids and now that I'm pregnant, the thought of having her at my baby shower makes me sick. Every person in my family agrees that she is a horrible person. They've all distanced themselves from her but my mother in law is afraid that if I don't invite her to the baby shower, she will get in trouble for attending or my sister in law will flip out and do something worse. Did I mention that my sister in law has also decided to befriend a person who has stalked, harassed and threatened my family for years (my husbands ex wife whom he divorced over 10 years ago) ALL because she said she (again) wanted my attention? I don't want her there. Is it terrible of me to exclude her?

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Dove - posted on 10/27/2015

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I would not have any type of relationship w/ this woman at all. I would not allow her near me or my kids for ANY reason.

Raye - posted on 10/27/2015

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You, your husband, and her husband should have a conversation with her to let her know how upsetting her behavior is. Tell her that you will not invite her, because she can't act respectfully toward the family. Let her know if she acts horrible to you in retaliation, then you will file a restraining order on her with the police to keep her away from you and your children. Tell her you don't want to pursue that action, and you want peace within the family... but as long as she is unable to act like an adult, you must keep her at a distance.

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[deleted account]

I agree that in a normal circumstance, talking would help. But before I even came into the picture, everyone had talked to her about her behavior. She is already in marriage counseling to deal with their issues. My MIL even had her sit down with a Psychologist to try and mediate their issues, but she still hasn't changed. She lost her most recent job due to not being able to get along with her co-workers. I think that at this point, if she can't realize how awful her behavior is and is constantly turning it around and making herself the victim, then there's no point in trying to talk to her. I guess I'm going to just try to avoid her, block her calls, have no contact except for family gatherings and just tell her that she isn't invited when she inevitably asks why she hasn't received an invitation.

Melissa - posted on 10/27/2015

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Girlfriend just say your prayers and ask god to be with you. May you have a safe delivery

[deleted account]

Thanks. I'm feeling a lot of pressure from my MIL and I don't want to upset my BIL- he's a good guy. But seriously, I have gotten to the point where just seeing her makes me feel ill.

Melissa - posted on 10/27/2015

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I don't think you should invite her and no youre not terrible. Those kinds of people are good to stay away from

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