Should I invite my estranged mother to my baby shower ?

Mar - posted on 10/25/2016 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Back in 2013 after I graduated from university I decided to get married. My mother was always against it, but I had my fathers support 100%. The reason my mother was against my marriage was because my now husband was divorced and had 2 children, and also 10 yrs older than me. (I was 24 when we married and he was 34)
I tried to do things the right way, my husband and his mother even came to my parents house to ask for my hand in marriage, but my mother was not having any of it. She was very rude, made inappropriate comments about me not knowing how to cook or clean etc. The day of the wedding she during the reception she would get close to me when I was alone to talk trash about my husbands family, trying to make me feel bad on my special day.
My mother and I have never been that close, we never had good communication, I never felt I could trust her with things that were happening in my life. She was very physically and emotionally distant.
I did try several times to fix the situation by asking her to forgive me, but she refuses to talk to me unless I get a divorce. After trying for several times I just gave up, since she refused to talked to me or see me.
Today almost 3 yrs later I'm expecting my first son, which would be my parents first grandchild, since I'm their only daughter. I'm currently planning my baby shower and keep thinking about wether inviting her or not.
I feel that I should be the better person and send her an invitation, that way my conscience will be clear and I will not look like the bad one.

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Michelle - posted on 10/26/2016

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That's a tough one. My Mother has been nasty to me growing up but has always stayed out of my relationships.
Does she know you are pregnant?
What does your Dad say?
My first thought was not to invite her but I can see where you are coming from in being the bigger person.
I probably wouldn't see my Mother as much if she wasn't the only Grandparent my children have in the same country!
Re-reading your post, I would say she wouldn't come anyway so probably invite her.

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