Should I let me teen boy live with his father

Diana - posted on 08/16/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

5

0

2

My ex has parent alienated my son so much that he has taken on my Ex's war against me and plays it out in my home. He is defiant, disrespectful and abusive. His Father denies that he has bad behaviour. I have taken him to therapist, tried to get him in private schools and been undermined by his Father continuously. My son is 13 and wants to live with his father and making life a living hell for me. His therapist have advised me to let him go. But it is sooo hard to give him to such a bad parent alienator

3 Comments

View replies by

Tangila - posted on 08/18/2012

8

15

1

I know that when you don't have the financial means , it is sometime harder to fight a unfair fight. You still stick to your guns and when it is all said and done, you will feel so much better when you know you have done the best you could in that situation. As a single parent I found that when you raise your child the way you see fit than He/She will eventually remember most of the things that you instilled in them, when it's most important. You seem to be a great mom and we as mothers have to work on ourselves first because when we spend so much time investing in others( Including our children) we forget that we need to prepare a life for ourselves also cause before you know it, our children will be up and grown :). Take care of you Diane and I guarantee that it will make you stronger and eventually all the things that stress you out will be a lot easier. Pray up~ tangila:)

Diana - posted on 08/17/2012

5

0

2

Thanks for sharing. My ex has a very dominate borderline personality and has the financial resources to make my life a living hell. I have to be smart when negotiating with him. He is supporting and promoting my sons treatment of me.
But your hit the nail on the head when you said he is trying to be my parent.
I will never let my self be abused again, but this exactly what I've been allowing my son to do to me. He is. He is treating me the exact same way my ex did.
I wish I could afford to put him in a private boarding school that might be able to help him. But even if I could I would have to pay fiancially, mentally and time off work to fight his Fad on court over it:-(.

I wish I had another option then letting him live with such an awful man.
There is a reason a 12 person jury awarded me sole custody.
I just don't know what to do, but the abuse of me and my younger son by my much bigger son has to stop.

Tangila - posted on 08/16/2012

8

15

1

Personally I know how hard it is to raise a disrespectful child. I can't tell you what you should do but I can tell you what I did. I did whatever it took to make her understand that as love as I have breath in my body, we will never change roles in her being my parent and I her daughter. Which means thats I dealt with everything she gave me and stood my ground and wore her down. It was hard but when she got herself in trouble I even allowed her to deal with the consequences and never gave in to her demands. And when she got of age I let her know that I loved her and that I will always be here for her but it was time for her to leave my home and take care of herself. She tried to use my grandbaby against me and I stayed prayed up and allowed her to do her. What I am saying is saying that, after all we go through to raise them to the best of our ability, we should never allow our children to run our lives so whatever it takes to get your son to understand that you are his parent, then do it. I wouldn't allow anyone ( even his dad) to undermine what I was doing to raise my children!

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms