Should I let my 13 year old daughter get a belly button piecring?

Ashley - posted on 04/15/2012 ( 75 moms have responded )

12

0

0

I'm not sure if 13 is an appropriate age but she has always been very good.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Nathaia Kinzie - posted on 10/19/2012

2

0

0

I am a professional body piercer and a mom, I would have to say if your daughter is in the small percent of kids who are extremely responsible and YOUR ok with it... go for it! You know your daughter better than anyone but keep this in mind... Her body is still changing and growing (more with facial features), will this piercing suite her and her body in 3 years? Is she responsible enough to clean it and take care of it properly? Piercings need to be cleaned at least 2 times a day, along with alot of other guidelines. Is she going to keep the piercing? Once removed some piercing (depending on the person) can close up within hours! Scarring can occur if it is removed and repiercing scar tissue can be more painful and result in rejection (depending on the place and the person). I realize this reply is a few months from when you post this but if you haven't gotten the piercing and you plan on taking her in just make sure you look at portfolios, ASK QUESTIONS, and make sure they give you an aftercare card or instructions. You don't know how many parents bring in their kids and never ask a single question, try to walk out before getting instructions on how to take care of their piercing and only look at my portfolio because I offer it to them,... for all you know someone says they have been piercing for 5 years and really only a year or not even that! Good Luck!

Tracie - posted on 04/16/2012

317

9

1

The only reason to get a belly button piercing is to show it off. Are you ok with her running around in cropped shirts all the time and getting male sexual attention? Because that's what will happen. Good luck.

Rose - posted on 10/07/2012

11

0

1

Well.. my daughter is 13, about to be 14 in just one month. About 6 months ago my daughter came up to me one day after school. It was around the time when it started getting hot outside again and my daughter said a lot of her friends were getting their belly button's pierced for this summer. I knew her best friend was going to because all winter her friend was trying to lose a little weight for it. I honestly didn't really think about if my daughter wanted hers pierced too. Since we were going on vacation to visit family she said she wanted to get it pierced while on vacation so she could come back with something to show her friends. I told her I would think about it and get back to her. I felt like she is just too young for any body piercings like that at this age. I did feel bad because her friends were getting theirs done and she maybe felt left out so I was thinking about letting her do it. I ended up calling my sister who has a daughter that is 17 and asking her about it. My sister's daughter got her belly button pierced for her 15th birthday and I decided that was a pretty ideal age. So I am making my daughter wait. She was pretty upset about it at first but now she is pretty much over it. She told me she wants her nose pierced too which I'm not sure about that one yet!

[deleted account]

I got mine pierced when I was 12 and I took care of it just fine. I would allow my 12 yr get one if she asked but she would have to earn it. Straight A's etc.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

75 Comments

View replies by

Amy - posted on 01/03/2013

4

0

0

piercings are great, when you get older and think you don't want it you can just take it out, where as tattoos are different. at her age getting it done is fine, I mean if the shop lets her get it done, then it must be fine. also its easy to cover up, for school and that and if she did want to take it out when older, there would only be a little scare but again wouldn't notice because you can easily cover it up

Ariana - posted on 12/29/2012

1,309

0

624

I would tell her she can get it when she's 16 because her body is still growing and how it goes in now is going to be different than how it should be when she's an adult, whereas by the time she's 16 she'll probably be about the size/bodyshape as she will be as an adult.

I would let her get ear peircings, but not a bellybutton one.

User - posted on 12/29/2012

1

0

0

I personally think it is too young.... I had mine done when I was 17, (I'm 29 now) my parents didn't know...If someone could have showed me what my belly button would have looked like after my first child at 22 (even though I took it out as soon as I knew I was pregnant) I may have thought twice about having it done. She is still growing. Make sure that you express that you understand she wants it...it is so important at that age to know you are being heard and not ignored. Have a good conversation about the pros and cons. Google...belly button piercing after pregnancy images and have her take a look. It's one thing for something to look bad after 30 years, but the scar it leaves on you in your twenties after a pregnancy really sucks.

Sophia Marie - posted on 11/03/2012

68

0

3

its not appropriate for her age...... most girls get them to show them off... do I need to tell you that their are men that find this a big turn on . a baby with a belly button piecring. dont start what you cant finish.

Barbara - posted on 10/23/2012

155

0

12

Too young. Reassure your 13 year old that she has lots of life ahead of her. Let her know that at 13 it might be a good idea but when she is in her 20's or 30's she may wish she did not do it.

Trisha - posted on 10/19/2012

17

0

3

I TOLD MY 6 YEAR OLD THAT WHEN SHE TURNS 13 SHE CAN HAVE A TATT OR PIERCING..I HAVE THEM HOW CAN I TELL HER NO OR THAT ITS WRONG..SO GO AHEAD IF YOU DONT MIND IT THATS WHAT MATTERS BUT IF YOU HAVE DOUBTS THEN DONT DO IT..

Nancy - posted on 10/15/2012

4

0

0

I think self-expression is a very key factor. If she's a good kid, why not? Let her be who she wants to be. If she wants to be inique let her be!

Piercings are just another way of expressing who she really is,

Jenisse - posted on 08/29/2012

1

0

0

You know, something no mom here has mentioned before is that you can simply get your daughter a fake piercing. Those clip-on ones. It's going to be less "unfair" (trust me, she'll see it as unfair) if she can at least get something she can pretend is real. Tell her she can use the clip-on one until she's 16, or whatever age you find appropriate. 16 is an ideal one, because it's only 3 years away and she'll be much more mature by then. When I was 12 I wanted a belly button piercing and my parents suggested getting my ears pierced again, but I said no and was frustrated at them because I asked for a belly button piercing, not a ear piercing. So eventually they came up with the 'fake belly button ring' idea and it worked great for me. I didn't feel as satisfied as I would have if I had gotten the piercing, but I liked the clip-on because it looked real and I figured I could pass it as the legit thing.

Brandy - posted on 08/20/2012

22

11

1

No only cause her body is still growing, me and a gf went and had ours done at 15 and within the first few months my dog who i taught to jump up and give hugs, jumped up to give me a hug ripped and tore mine, almost a yr later our bodies rejected them not cause of infection but cause we grew and the skin there got thinner and thinner I eventually by 18 had to have it redone due to the sliver if skin holding it there, was no longer in my belly button and my gf hers completely came out so I would wait, get her a clip on one if your ok with that, that way it doesn't get ripped and also it's the longest of all piercings to heal not fun or pretty

Makenzie - posted on 08/19/2012

2

0

0

I say let her do it when my daughter turned 13 for her birtday i said ok lets do it! i told her do chores be nice to your siblings and keep youre grades up. And she did at first i was like o god shes obsessed this is horrible it was one oof the best things that could of happened. I say if shes 13 or over and she wants her belly button pierced let her if she feels specail and she will do what you ask i think she deserves it and if they now that it could get infected then hey if it does you learn from your mistakes

Daisy - posted on 04/23/2012

11

25

2

No she is to young this will make her feel grown and thats when you will have alot of problems

Nicola - posted on 04/20/2012

7

25

0

thankyou to the responder who claims every young girl who has a navel piercing is a loose girl just how simple and intorrarent are you I know several teachers who have not only their navel but nose eyebrow and lips pierced but I would not call them loose I would call them intellegent and they are finding a way to express themselves it's a pity you don't think before you type and make judgments on people just because they have done somthing you don't like an opinion is just that their is no need to insult people and make suggestions about their morals. how about i make a jugment on you you are a prude and judgemental about people you don't know

ROBIN - posted on 04/18/2012

1

28

0

Honestly it is hard...depending on some children/teens they get told "NO" but find other ways of getting things done and that might lead to major problems. Our twin girls got their belly buttons pierced at 13/14 years old. We chose to because we wanted to make sure the place they went to was licensed, also to make sure they didn't have problems from it. If a kid gets a piercing that gets infected that can lead to a whole lot of problems. So what I am saying take a moment and think about YOUR child and if they will do it behind your back like most will "try" then you might want to go the other route and support them in getting it done..we did and our girls said it was painful but its just an "ear ring" in the belly button its not the end of the world or the worst they could ask for! (our girls are 19 now)

Shaye - posted on 04/18/2012

3

3

0

As I've watch this post grow, I see more no's than yes's. And some posts are automatically assuming the ring will turn this kid out. Highly doubtable. That's a small minded thought. It didn't have much room to roll around and grow into a full thought before it fell out of your head. IF this lady's daughter is typically a good kid, I'd say go for it. Piercings and tatooof s are simply expressions of personal taste. She is young for a tattoo, and having her nips pierced or anything below the waste done; but that's where your parental boundary comes in. Knowing when to say they r taking it too far. Its your decision. Just like if she was to go to a party, you can say yeah sure go, but be home at 1030. Your personal boundaries for YOUR KID.

Tracey - posted on 04/18/2012

1

0

0

My Daughter got her nose pierced at 14 and also wanted a belly button piercing but we said NO, Told her when she was 16, She turned 16 last week and got it done. 16 came way to fast but she is happy and is taking very good care of it. This is about as far as we would go with any other piercings. I watched it get done and almost passed out myself. OUCH...And the lady who did it said it can take up to 6 months to heal and sometimes the body will just reject it as it like a foreign object in the body. Just saying. Good luck with your 13 year old.

Kate - posted on 04/18/2012

34

18

0

It sounds like a hard decision, every parent wants to let their children be themselves, but I agree with a lot of the other postings. A belly button ring looks cool, but it is kind of a sexual piercing. She may not look at it that way, but the opposite sex most likely will. If she's as good as you say, maybe you could reward her with some extra responsibility, like a later curfew or something.

Crystal - posted on 04/18/2012

7

19

1

I have to agree with Amy Tarwater. I to got my belly button pierced at 19 and got pregnant a few months later. I took the piercing out when I was 7 months for fear that it was going to scar really bad, but it was already to late. The scar on my belly button is worse in appreance then some of the sctretch marks I received. Please remind her that if you do decide to allow her to pierce her belly button, that even after taking it out that it will no matter what leave a scar for life. Ask her if that is something she is going to want years down the road. All of my piercings and tatoos were done after the age of 18. I think these days that is the more appropriate age for things like that. Good Luck with your decision

Kellie - posted on 04/17/2012

16

15

0

my mum was going 2 allow me 2 get mine done at 16, however wen we contacted the tattoo parlour to book me in the woman warned my mother that doing it before 18, they could not guarentee that i had finished puberty, therefore there was a possibility that my uterus was still extremely close to my belly button internally. She said that if my piercing was to get infected there was a possibility that the infection could travel to my uterus causin damage that could cause problems with reproduction later on in life. Needless to say, i waited until i was over 18. At 13 i imagine the risks would be higher. I personally wouldn't take the risk. Who knows, maybe the piercer was wrong, but I wasn't about to stake my future children on it. And wen it comes to my daughter I'm not going 2 risk my grandchildren either. I don't care how mean it seems at the time

Britt - posted on 04/17/2012

6

10

0

Well, since you are asking for opinions, I will share mine. I agree with the posters who are connecting navel piercing with sexuality. Whether or not that is how *she* envisions or intends it, that is how it will be perceived by most people, especially men. Like it or not, we do live in a society where children are becoming more and more "sexualized" by the media and advertisements, etc. I would be cautious about encouraging that kind of attention to her body.



Also, remember that at 13, your daughter is still a child and her brain is still developing. At age 13, children are still not fully capable of making reasonable choices that can affect them for the rest of their lives. That is science, not an opinion.



Anyway, you are the parent. Do what you think is right, what you think is appropriate. I think that you are already having doubts or you would not have posted about it to begin with. Good luck!



p.s. girls are a challenge, aren't they???

Jesi - posted on 04/17/2012

4

26

0

Personally, I would say no. That is too young for piercings other than ears. Of course, this is just my opinion. :) My daughter wanted hers done at 16 and I had told her she needed to wait til she was 18 for such a piercing. She went behind my back and did it herself. I made her take it out and she waited until she was 18 to have it redone.

Abby May - posted on 04/17/2012

6

1

0

yes you absoutely should. it is her decesion and if she does not like it later on then that is her problem. i think that 13 is an appropriate age to lear to make decesions like this and that u should guide her to make good decesions but let her make her own lost of the time!

Ashley - posted on 04/17/2012

4

1

0

I would wait until she's about 17 or 18. 13 is a bit young for a navel piercing, maybe you could compromise to get her ears pierced instead if she doesn't already have them?

Misty - posted on 04/17/2012

7

5

0

I wouldn't allow my daughter to get one. Piercings, outside ears, and tattoos are all things she can do after she moves out if she feels the need. But not while on my watch.

Kimberly - posted on 04/17/2012

1

5

0

I have a 13 year old daughter and I don't believe that because she is a good kid that she should get whatever she asks for. When she turns 18 and if she decides then that she still wants it then fine by me but not at this age where she is influenced by friends and want to do things to probably fit in.

Brandi - posted on 04/17/2012

3

16

0

This is what gets me the intolerance of some people really you haven't " meet any collage professors with any" what do you go up to them and ask them to lift their shirts so you can see? You can't judge a person like that. And to say that all girls/women who have them go around wearing belly shirts just to show them off is just redickulous. And also why couldn't you have a tattoo just because you are a mom and a teacher? That makes no sense. I am a mother of 4 who is a respected member of our baptist church and I have tattoos and piercings that doesn't make me any less a mother or a respected member of our community. And omg the only people in your village who has tattoos is a goth couple come on really I think you would be surprised at who might have a tattoo or 2. Open your eyes we are not living in the dark ages anymore. And would you believe it policemen and firefighters get tattoos to remember their fallen brothers they have worked with. I know here in the US their are many who have gotten them that where involved in helping with 911 and they got tattoo to remember their fallen brothers and should we think any less of the men and women who help save our lives daily. I think not.

Tiajanna - posted on 04/17/2012

6

1

0

Its more of what you believe you should do... I had my bellybutton pierced when I was thirteen, it wasn't difficult for me to take care of and keep up on, and it was fun for me to pick out new rings, once it got to the point that I could change it.. One of the arguments I've read on here, is what about when she gets older and has children, well I'm 22, and just recently had my first child, my bellybutton looks same as before, and after giving birth I popped my ring right through and still wear it now.. I feel naked with out if after having it for 9 years... if my daughter asks for it done when she gets 13, I doubt I will make a big deal about it, its just a piercing..

Krista - posted on 04/17/2012

12,562

16

847

It's really up to you. I don't think I would be comfortable allowing a 13-year-old get a navel piercing, as they do have more of a "sexy" image than many other types of piercings. But this is definitely one of those things where each parent has to make their own decision.

Yurena - posted on 04/17/2012

146

7

1

Haven't read many responses but I totally agree with Grace V D M: easily infected, will look awful later on if she got pregnant plus it is perceived as 'sexual' and 'vulgar' (haven't met any college professors with one, but have met some loose girls with one, you work out the maths). I think 'permanent body decorations' should be left for when you are an adult, that is, after 18 then she can pierce herself as a colander, but I reckon that by then she may think different about it. You say she is a good girl, and I'm sure she is, reward her in other ways, like a nice day out or a hair cut, not permanent scarring. My brother has a couple of tattoos from when he was young and regrets them, also another couple of friends do. I did fancy a tattoo in my teens but now I'm a 32 yo mum and teacher in a pretty conventional little village, can you imagine? I only know one couple that has tattoos and piercings and are happy with them (but they are Goth and love the image, plus it is something they will actively encourage their kids to do), it really depends on what it means in your life. Also, what is the next thing you would let her have, a tatoo round the hip? we get these things to show others. I respect too much my body for it, plus if you get tired after 3 days or 5 years...tough. What is going to happen when you still have the scar at 25, 35, 45, 55, 65, 75? No, thanks. Only my opinion. Having said that, I don't mind tatoos or piercings in other people and may find them attractive or sexy (which is, believe me, why teenagers want them), but I reckon it'll make them look pretty rough later on, and there is also to consider what type of career you want. I think policemen can't have visible tattoos in UK, for example. Good luck, it hopes it goes well, whatever you decide. x

Danielle - posted on 04/17/2012

31

24

0

Honestly I don't get why everyone wants to say no, I know plenty of kids grown to be adults now that get older and just go wild because all they were told was no. It's a decision their going to make weather they are 13, 23, 33, to 103. I just believe it's something to talk about then just say no, if your open and discuss it you may get a better response from here then just plan saying no. Just a thought anyway.

Brandi - posted on 04/17/2012

3

16

0

I agree with Diana on going to a body piercing shop or most tattoo shops do piercings for anything other than lower ear piercings and cartalidge piercings do take 6 months to heal and can be painful/sore for a while when sleeping on and if u don't take care of it they can get infected easily.

Diana - posted on 04/17/2012

109

0

0

I would definitely say "No". I would have loved to have my belly button pierced at 13, but at 40 & having children that age the only thing that I can really see happening is that she would want to display it. That's why I wanted it. As a mom, I don't want my 13-year-old displaying her belly button piercing & drawing any more attention than necessary to the fact that she is a girl developing a woman's body. LOL. Ear/cartlidge piercings I wouldn't have a problem with, but body piercings & tattoos...my rule is going to be that you are more than welcomed to purchase it yourself when you are old enough to sign for it yourself. You never know how they will change their minds from now until they are 18. Don't get me wrong, I think that they can be very pretty & I like them on other people, just not on my child before she is old enough to sign for it herself regardless of how well-behaved and responsible she is.

If you are ok with piercings, maybe compromise with a cartlidge piercing. Personal experience has convinced me that the best way to have that done is at a professional body piercing shop rather than at the ear piercing shop at the mall. The ear piercing shops just use the gun to push the cartlidge out of the way whereas the body piercing shops actually remove a small piece of the cartlidge allowing it to heal nicer. Also, sometimes the ear piercing places tell you to turn the earring daily. The body piercing places will tell you not to touch it so that it can heal properly. Cartlidge piercings can take up to 6 months to completely heal.

Good luck!

Brandi - posted on 04/17/2012

3

16

0

I personally have had mine done a few times I also have had my tongue and have my eye brow, lip, 2 holes in the ear, and my cartalidge done. I have 4 girls ages 9,7, 4, and 2 and think that 13 is a little too young for the belly button, eyebrow, and lip. Maybe you could compromise with a cartLidge or another hole in the ear(if she already has one) right now and tell her in a few years I think 15/16 is a good age for the other piercings. Here in South Carolina most of the middle schools have dress codes so facial piercings would be out until high school anyways.

Amy - posted on 04/17/2012

56

39

4

It would depend on where you lived for it to be percieved as vulgar. Peircings here are quite the norm. My nose is done. My cartilage is done,it was actually done 4 on one side and 5 on the other and 3 holes on the bottom of each. The belly button just comes into contact with many things. I also dont think it sxualizes anything...does wearing a pink leapord bra sexualize anything even for a 13 yr old ,no. It means they like leapord (personally find them ugly).

[deleted account]

Mostly I would avoid it because they can get infected very easily and if she ever decides to remove it she will have a permanent scar. Do they make just rings without piercing? Maybe there is something else she can do that's close.

Grace - posted on 04/17/2012

12

1

0

Hi Ashley,

my answer would be no. And would stay ´no´ for at least her 18th birthday. Im not accepting things like piercings and tatoos easily - they pass the wrong message (whether we want it or not) and as someone already said here, a belly button piercing can end up looking prety ugly. I know some ladies that had one, when they were younger..and when they became pregnant they were so sorry for it, it looks awfull. Here were i live, it is seen has a litle 'vulgar' thing to have. That is defenitely not the image i would want my 13 year old to have. I understand that saying no, is not easy. Kids can be quite persistent and complain all the time about 'everybody has one' etc. Exactly that, they need to learn - you dont need to have one, because other people also have, or find it beautifull. When its 'out of fashion'..it will be too late and she will end up regreting it. My own brother ended up having a tattoo, much against my mothers ideas..and he is now so sorry for it. It looks bad and passes wrong message - but now its too late.
If it ends up looking bad for her also - bye bye bikini and nice girly clothes lather on... and im sure she can even end up angry at you, saying 'why didnt you stop me'. lol Though being a Mum hé... :) kiss..and good luck for you!

Pamela - posted on 04/17/2012

711

9

6

Why?

My middle son is the only one of my children with tatoos and piercings. But he didn't get his first one until he was 19...just to freak out his Dad. Personally, I'd say, No. Let her wait until she is a bit older.

As for me, I want to be around when all of the generation with tatoos and piercings get to be 80 years old. Imagine what that's going to look like! Whoa!!! LOL!!!

Jennifer - posted on 04/16/2012

103

52

0

tell her that if in a couple of years it is still something she wants and she doesn't change her mind, you'll let her. 13 is to young - way to much depends on what everyone else is doing.

Danielle - posted on 04/16/2012

31

24

0

When i was 13 I wanted my belly button pierced what my mom told me was if u want it that bad u have to earn and pay for it yourself and when u can do that I'll take you to get it done. Now a mother of two and my youngest a girl I believe I would do the same with her.

Sherri - posted on 04/16/2012

9,593

15

391

13 in my opinion is too young. I would have her wait till 16 personally.

Casandra - posted on 04/16/2012

4

3

0

I think that's the best reply here and to be honest every child is different but if your child can show understanding of the matter and show that they know all the things it takes to take care of it than the better you feel about it. In the end don't do it if your 2nd guessing the situation

Terrie - posted on 04/16/2012

134

2

6

I really don't think that it is a good idea. Having a peicing like this is something a child wants to show off. A thirteen year old is much to young for that.

Jennifer - posted on 04/16/2012

10

17

0

Absolutely not. No matter how mature your daughter is, a belly button piercing has the tendency to send the wrong message to some people. If she really wants one when she is 18 then that would be her choice. My daughter and sons for the matter are not getting ANY piercings or tattoos or whatever til they are 18.

Misty - posted on 04/16/2012

9

87

1

I would "NEVER" let my daughter at 13 have any piercings. I have a 22 yr old and a 4 yr old both girls. My rules were only ears and only one per piercing per ear until are no longer living under my roof. My oldest turned 18 and went and got a tatoo..but she was moving out to go to college. I think if she had to do it over again she would still get a tatoo but it would be in a differnet place and maybe a differnt tatoo. She was 18 so at 13 No way!!

Anna - posted on 04/16/2012

75

10

0

I've been reading about scarring and remembered mine. The ring has been out almost 13 years, and I have a thick, Shiny, ugly purple scar. Well, the wrinkled part of it actually dents in...but that is shiny too. It is hideous, but that's what happens when you get a massive infection and the scars grow.

Sarah - posted on 04/16/2012

1,258

14

164

No. Why would you want to pull attention to her navel. IMO it sexualizes that body part, 13 is way too young. Personally if it were my daughter, she wouldn't get one until she was legally able to consent to it herself.

Elizabeth - posted on 04/16/2012

148

16

2

Heck no. And even younger than that is insane. I had mine done when I was 23 and regret it now. I have tattoos and other piercings, but my belly button is the only one I regret. I've had 2 children and I removed it as soon as I found out I was pregnant with my first and it still left a scar. I'd imagine just regular weight gain would do the same. At that early teenage stage their bodies are still developing. I was a good kid too and would have lot of stupid tattoos if I would have been able to get my first when I had "wanted it".

Ana - posted on 04/16/2012

5

0

0

so many kids and adults end up with infections from belly rings. the pants rub the area and it doesn't get washed and cared for correctly. personally, i'm against them period.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms