Should i let my 13 year old have boys over?
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Anna - posted on 06/26/2012
She is always asking to go to the beach with her "guy friends" because we live right by a lake. I dont feel comfortable with her wearing a bikini with a boy. I also have recently caught her wearing push up bras that she stole frm her older sister, but only when she goes to boys houses.
Karen - posted on 08/07/2012
I don't think it's an issue but I think that there are levels of "having boys over", however I do think she's too young to date (remember the no dating until 16, group dating at 14/15). If it's a mixed group of kids who are spending time eating pizza, talking, studying, watching a move - in a public space with adults in the area, then it's OK. If you mean having 1 boy over and going into her bedroom, definitely too young. I also think that it's time to have "the talk" and I don't just mean about the mechanics of sex, but about the whole package. She needs to understand what can happen when kids are together alone (despite her being a good girl, being "just friends", etc., mistakes happen and kids often don't think first), but also she needs to think about her reputation. In the age of internet, bullying, cell phones, facebook, texting, sexting, the consequences are much greater. Kids are cruel - a bad breakup, someone thinks you disrespected them, someone decides your daughter is now a target, etc., and what may seem innocent to you and her becomes a big thing and rumors are spread far and wide (not just someone whispering to another as in the past). Another kid hears what may be an innocent remark and decides to use it and ruin her (and his) reputation. Does she really want to put herself in the position where that could happen? The consequences to that are so much greater than the momentary annoyance of only being able to interact in the family room where adults can monitor what is going on.
Louise - posted on 06/26/2012
If this is a girl then yes as long as they are in sight of somebody and not shut away in a bedroom snuggled up. Respect is what is needed here and if your daughter wants to keep hers then she should abide by your house rules. No boys in bedrooms, and definitely not with the door shut!
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MeMe - posted on 07/31/2012
My almost 14 year old hangs around with boys but never behind closed doors. I trust my daughter and know she is a good girl. Boys are not allowed to sleep over, of course, but she can surely hang around with them. Sometimes they come over and play games on the wii but there is always a group of them, which includes other girls, too.
The thing is if you are against it, she may sneak around and do it and it may become worse than it should.
Matilda, I don't know about taking a leaf from your book. You seem to think a 13 year old boy cannot get a hard on..... **sigh** Although, this is NOT what most 13 year olds are thinking. Some, perhaps. Most? No.
Matilda - posted on 07/31/2012
I think yes ! My son 13 year old son has girls round all the time ! And my 15 year old daughter has had male friends around to stay the night too ! She respects herself and me and that's why we get on so well, because she's honest with me. I think you should all take a leaf out of my book. Besides - they're 13 - they arn't going to have strong urges ! I bet this little dude can't even get a hard on.
Tara - posted on 06/25/2012
I'd really need more context to answer you properly. If you mean overnight I'd say absolutely not. If you mean for a movie or games night with supervision I'd say I don't see why not. I would say not without some sort of supervision though because kids that age are curious and you want to make sure your kid isn't pressured into something they aren't comfortable with.
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