Should I let my 16 year old daughter travel with boyfriend alone?

Karen - posted on 01/04/2016 ( 17 moms have responded )

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My 16 year old daughter and her boyfriend of 8 months wanted to go to Miami for Valentine's Day weekend (it would be a three day weekend). Her boyfriend is 16 and has been driving for a year. He would drive them. Miami is about 4 hours from where we live. What should I do?

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~♥Little Miss - posted on 01/07/2016

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Have you talked with his parents about this? Do they know? Do they approve?? I cannot imagine any parent allowing this. They have been together 8 months, not 8 years.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 01/07/2016

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Aside from the obvious, not being old enough to rent a room, rent a car, emergencies that can happen on the road with 2 young people traveling alone with out of state license plates, they are minors.....I mean the list goes on. What reasons do you actually have to let them go that trump all the legal ramifications? Driving for a year? Good for him. You want him driving your daughter out of state 4 hours away with only 1 years driving experience?/ Nope. Did you know that in some states kids under 18 aren't allowed to have another passenger in the car with them under 18 past a certain hour? There is no need for them to leave the state to have a romantic 3 day weekend having sex, drinking, and having the privacy of a hotel room 4 hours away to do as they please.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 01/07/2016

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No. When she is 18 and an adult, she can move out and do as she pleases.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/05/2016

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Well, in the US, young people under the age of 20 often meet age related problems as they travel, such as lodging. NO ONE (at least not a reputable establishment) will rent a room to a 16 YO. I know, because my boys at the ages of 18 and 15 went to summer camp in MN. Drove there and back by themselves. The only problem they would have had would have been getting a room. If I hadn't called ahead and reserved the room, as a legal adult over the age of 21, they wouldn't have been allowed to procure one for themselves.

Not to mention...THEY ARE ONLY 16 YEARS OLD!!! Do you really want grandchildren this early?????

Honestly, if my eldest hadn't already proven extreme responsibility, they wouldn't have gone either, but I over-protected them to the best of my ability while they were gone, and they had relatives available in every state they went through. And again, I must point out that they were both MY children, and at least one was legally an adult. They also are extremely savvy in all situations. Had the eldest been younger or less responsible? Wouldn't have happened. Period.

Dove - posted on 01/04/2016

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Um... for one... the fact that I'm responsible for keeping my child safe until they are 18 and letting a couple of teenagers go off for an unsupervised weekend at all (much less 4 hours away) is idiotic and irresponsible parenting. They aren't allowed to have a night completely alone at home w/ just their girlfriends w/out an adult being around at some point... a night (or 3) w/ a boyfriend... 4 hours from home... no adults... No way!

I also do not condone teenage sex. I'm not naive enough to think it's impossible (though at 14 my girls still think it's idiotic, so I have some hope), but there is no way I'm condoning it or giving it a green light to occur.

If that alone isn't enough reasons... then I can't help you. I give my girls a lot of freedoms, but there is no way in the world that I would even consider something like this for anyone under 18... ever.

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Jodi - posted on 01/07/2016

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LOL Lynnae, of COURSE they planing on going away to have a weekend of sex. They are 16. Anyone who thinks it is for other purposes is naive.

Lynnae - posted on 01/07/2016

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Im not even gonna lie to you. My parents let me travel with my ex once.. And we had sex they whole time, so flipping the presective, id say hell no. I mean i was rebel at the time, so im not saying thats what will happen and i Dont mean to scare but it opens oppurtunies i dont think youd approve of. Good luck!

Sarah - posted on 01/07/2016

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Well the group consensus is clear. What I'd like to know is why do they need to go on a trip together at 16? Where would they stay? Who is paying for the trip? Have they traveled before? Even the most mature 16 yo doesn't have fully developed decision making skills. If they had car trouble, or health problems, got lost, have a fight or lose their money; then you'd have to intervene. Four hours is still a rather long drive for a new driver. Straight A students doesn't factor in for me- my kids all get great grades still do irresponsible things. My answer would be no, but that's my kids.
Ask yourself: "Am I more likely to regret letting them go on the trip, or making them stay home?" Do the benefits of saying yes, outweigh the risks?

Andrea - posted on 01/06/2016

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No, because you and the boyfriend's parents will be liable for anything that may happen within those three days since they are considered minors.

Michelle - posted on 01/05/2016

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I wouldn't, they are only 16!
I don't care how mature they are, there are a lot of other idiots around. Also like Dove said, I am responsible for my children until they are 18. After that they can make their own decisions but until then it's up to me. I don't condone teenage sex either but I know I can at least limit the opportunities for them to have it.

Audra - posted on 01/05/2016

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I agree with other commenters. I would never allow it. My husband drives otr for a living. There is so much going on out there. They could be easily overcome or taken advantage of. They are young, naive and trusting. Probably not street smart. I still cringe when my 21 yr old daughter wants to travel anywhere. Especially these days. And Miami? Never. But I am a very overprotective mother of 4.

Dove - posted on 01/05/2016

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As a teenager I was 14 and home alone w/ my 14 year old best friend (girl) for a weekend and by 16 I was allowed to do whatever I want (and nothing 'bad' ever happened... I didn't even have a boyfriend til I was 23...lol), but that's not the point here.

I love my parents and I know they did the best they could and I don't blame them one bit... but that doesn't change the fact that allowing something like this w/ a minor child IS irresponsible and neglectful parenting.

Sarah - posted on 01/05/2016

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Say no. Would never allow this. Don't think my kids would even ask. They know what the answer would be.

Jeannilea - posted on 01/05/2016

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When I was 17 my mom let my boyfriend (of 2 years) and I go to Galveston (about 3 1/2 hours away from home) by ourselves for 2 nights. I was on birth control and she trusted my boyfriend and we were fine! We had a great 2 year anniversary there and I was happy my mom trusted me so well. Of course I kept in touch with her more than once a day. You know your daughter better than anyone. If you trust her then why not? If she has a past of getting into trouble or being deceitful than of course you have your reasoning not to let her go

Jodi - posted on 01/04/2016

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Um, she's 16. He's 16. Who lets kids this age go away together? My answer would be "no way". Sorry, but at 16, you don't get to "play" at being adult. I don't care how responsible you think they are, this is not the age to start letting them have overnights and weekends together. They are not adults, no matter how much they think they are. The fact that they are already having sex is irrelevant.

By the sounds of your response to Dove, you've already pretty much decided you are going to say yes, though. Either that or you feel like you owe an explanation to your daughter. You don't owe her an explanation. No you are too young should be enough.

Karen - posted on 01/04/2016

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May I ask what your reasoning is? I know they're already having sex, they don't drink, and they're straight a students.

Dove - posted on 01/04/2016

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Are you insane? lol

Two 16 year old kids driving on their own 4 hours away for a 3 day weekend?! No way in hell would I ever even contemplate allowing that for half a second.

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