Should I let my daughters keep calling my fiance daddy?

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Sandi - posted on 10/12/2009

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If everyone in your household is okay with it, and bio dad is the way he seems to be - I see no problem with it. Chances are your fiance will be a heck of a lot more like a daddy than the bio dad ever would be! My niece called her step dad "dad" and her bio dad "dad" and one day she said to me (at the age of 5, I think), " I have two daddies. Daddy Donnie and Daddy Daniel. I wish I only had one daddy, Daddy Donnie." And Donnie is her stepdad. As it turns out, my sister had the bio dad's rights terminated and Donnie adopted my niece - he's the best daddy!

Melissa - posted on 10/12/2009

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I would say yes. Does your fiance feel comfortable with it? If your children feel comfortable calling him that, what is the problem? A "dad" is alot of things. Your daughters must feel that he is in that family role to them. He may not be their biological dad but in the family unit, he is that person to them. You don't say if their real father is in the picture? If he is, you daughters know that he is their father. The fact that he is their biological father will never change. To your daughters, they have two dads. Embrace it! Some girls don't get a chance to have even one!

Iysha - posted on 10/12/2009

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I honestly felt uncomfortable when my ex's daughter would call me mommy. She was 2 at the time. I felt like her mother might feel hurt by that so I was the one to correct her and tell her that I was not her mommy, that I was Iysha, I was her friend. Of course that was a different situation since I was not sure how things were going to work out with her father, and we never got to the point about even speaking about marriage.



I would suggest talking to your fiance and to your daughter's father seperately. Ask their father how he feels about it and ask your fiance and then make a decision based on their answers OR you can just remind your daughters that they have 2 daddys and that they both love them very much. I think that they should acknowledge both men as their daddy and not just one.

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Grace - posted on 08/17/2012

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yes! my older sister had a boy when she was 17 and then she broke up with the ad of the child when he was 1 then she found another man and theyre still together and have a 1 year old girl aswell, and the boy calls her fiance daddy! when he really isnt and isnt married!

Ashley - posted on 10/12/2009

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yes he is comfortable now with it, at first it was like-woah what do we tell them? there dad is in and out of there lives. so it makes me feel good i found someone with whom they feel good enough to call there daddy. and he loves them like he loves his own kids...

Ashley - posted on 10/12/2009

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well at first i told them that he wasnt there daddy he was micky-thats his name. then i kinda let it go and they started doin it more often. and my fiance and i have talked about it because his 2 children just started calling me mom. and i plan on being with him and marrying him so i just wanted to know from someone elses perspective... thanks that does help out alot...

Ashley - posted on 10/12/2009

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they are 2 and 3, there daddy is in and out there life. he has been in and out of jail and prison. and we are engaged and plan to get married next summer. and he also has 2 children, they see them calling him daddy so they started to. i felt bad at first not for the fact that there bio daddy might be hurt-i didnt want my fiance to be freaked out. he loves them like his own. and now his 2 have started calling me mom. i really just dont know what to think. i kinda feel like if they are comfortable enough with him to call him daddy then i shouldnt make a big deal and tell them no. i plan on being with him forever.

Sandi - posted on 10/12/2009

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Well, I need more info. Is their bio dad in their lives? How old are the girls? Is your fiance really going to become your husband, or is it just a term you use for the guy you live with? (No offense intended, just need to know). My daughters' bio father was never in the picture. He couldn't be, I used an anonymous donor. When my daughters met my now-husband, it wasn't until things were serious with us. If they liked him, great. If they didn't, it was over. My kids come first. They called him daddy the second day they knew him. I knew we would get married (and we did) and there was no other daddy to be hurt by them calling him that, so I saw no problem with it. Now, if there is a bio dad in their life, that would be unnecessarily hurtful to him and I would have them come up with another pet name for him. Example - my niece and nephew (my sister's kids) call me Nonnie. She was very young when she had my niece, and I felt more like a grandma, lol! But that wasn't the right word. Aunt just didn't seem like enough for what I was to them. So she chose Nonnie and it stuck.

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