Should I let my estranged father meet my 3 year old daughter?

Raquel - posted on 04/22/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I have not seen my father in probably close to a decade. We started speaking via email a little over two years ago. He had contacted me after I had my daughter and we have been speaking ever since (only via email). He contacted me a few weeks ago saying that he really wants to finally see me and my daughter. We became estranged in 2006 right after I got engaged. There are various reasons for the estrangement, but he seems like he really wants to make amends. I however, am not ready, nor will I ever be, to see him or let him see my daughter. I am so torn. I don't know what to do. I just don't want him to get involved in my daughter's life, and possibly leave again, just like he did with me. I don't want to do that to her. It is possible, though, that he is in this for the long haul and really wants to be a part of our lives. I really don't know what to do. I am so conflicted.

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Dove - posted on 04/22/2013

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If you are not ready to see him... then no. Just let him know that it's too much right now. You can keep in contact with letters (or the email) and send pictures of her to him, but that it's too soon for anything else. I would not rule it out for the future, but don't let him push it if you are uncomfortable.

Maybe look at it like this.... if he were to die tomorrow... would you regret not seeing him again and not introducing your daughter to him? Think about it very carefully. You will make the decision that is right for you and your family (daughter).

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Melissa - posted on 04/22/2013

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My dad and I did not talk very much from the age of 15 on... Then at 18 I found out I was pregnant!?! I was due in June 2008 and I told him in jan 2008. At first he was not happy but I told him just because our realationship was strained doesn't mean he shouldn't be a part of his grand kids life. It's been almost 5 yrs. and they have the best relationship ( even better than mine when I was that age) so I say go for it!! Good luck

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