FoxyMom - posted on 02/26/2013 ( 9 moms have responded )
Odd situation - My fiance and I have been engagned for 8 months. Two months after we were engaged I found out I was pregnant. (forgot to take one birth control pill) I have a 9 year old son from my previous marriage and I always try to set a good example for him however getting pregnant before I was married not really don't a great job LOL.
Before we get married I asked him to get his financial issues resolved (ie one year of back taxes and some medical bills that have gone into collections, as well as a repo car when he was younger) that way if he feels that filing for bankruptcy is the best option it can be done before we are married. We were planning on getting married Feb 2014 and I do not want to rush and move that date up just becuase I'm having a baby.
He has not really spent the night at my house when my son is there and the few times he did he slept on the couch. Now that my due date is getting near and we will have "baby bills" I have been playing with the idea of him moving in but I'm torn becuase I was brought up that it is not the right thing to do to live together before marriage BUT I sort of shot that when I got pregnant. My fiance would have to share a room with me.
I've talked to my son about his feelings about that and he seems fine with it. (they get along great) but I'm still worried about what negitive effect it could have on him AND if my ex will have an issue and cause problems.
I am 35 so not a spring chicken however I do value and respect my parents opinion. I've discussed this with them and my father is ok with it becuase he knows how helpful it would be with bills and dealing with a newborn, getting my son ready for school, etc. My mom is totally against it until we get married. She said that plenty of single moms do it alone all the time but I told her is that is becaue they have to and I have a willing person that wants to take responsibility and help.
Anyway, I would just like others opinions on this matter. I've talked with my son about how mommy made a mistake and that you should have babies until you are married and when i talked to him about my fiance moving it I approached it that I need him to move in because it would give us extra help with the baby and help arond the house getting things done. Plus my son is nervous being here with me alone just incase something happens like I go into labor early or anything like that.