Dezra - posted on 11/25/2010 ( 108 moms have responded )
My partner is from Congo, Africa and I am from Dominica in The Caribbean.
Our son is 4 soon and has been invited to Africa to spend christmas with his dad's parents.
I think it will be a good opportunity for him and he would love it. He adores his grandparents and his uncle.
The only problem is that my partner's mother has never liked me. When I was first pregnant, she despised me. We had numerous altercations. The last 2 years has brought a change to our relationship. She has begun to accept me, I think. She told me she wants to start again with me, she knows it was unfair of her to dislike me without a valid reason. She has apologised and has made a huge effort to get close to me.
They want our son to spend the holidays with them in Africa. I don't know how I feel about it. My partner and I do not have support networks or family around us to help with our son. We do every single thing on our own, we do not ask for help form anyone. We are not even on benefits/welfare. I'm a university student and also work part time from home, my partner works full time.
Our son rarely spends a lot of time away from us. One night or so every few weeks I think, when he spends nights at his best friend's house. His grand parents want him to spend 2 weeks with them. I'm terrified of him spending so much time away from us, especially in another country. What should I do? My partner and I could really use the break, spend time with each other, but we are terrified. My fears stem mainly from the animosity between the families in the past, but also, as a mother, I can't imagine him being so far away, especially at the holidays.
There is also no love loss between my family and my partner's family. If our son goes to Africa, my family will be in uproar. They will think I am not being responsible enough, that I should not let him go. But they are all his family, I do not want to keep him from them. And I do not think my family should be angry with me. I never complain to them, I am 24 years old, in a country without any of them, we raise our son without their help, so I do not think they should be so angry. I am a good mother, would never put my son in danger. I just know they will refuse to speak to me.
I'm so confused, so worried. Please help me x