[deleted account] ( 3 moms have responded )
I know this is an age old problem that many single mums have had, but I struggling to know what to do- I separated from my sons father 5 years ago as he has an alcoholic and drug taker that was verbally/ emotionally abusive to me for years. I finally had the balls to leave him, and years later he want to have visitation rights to my son and I am torn.
A couple of facts first- he is clean now (apart from prescribed drugs). He wasn't abusive to my son, but my son saw him be mean (thats the nice word for it) to me on several occasions.
I have let him see his son when ever he has wanted, but his father will never look after him outside of my house and I have had enough. As I do not want to see the man in my house- for obvious reasons.
My son is now nine and his dad wants to see him more. But my son doesn't want to see him. Now his father is threatening legal action that frankly I can't afford (Im a single working mother). I have asked my son why and he has said it is because he is no fun, unreliable, never turns up and shouts and is strict with him. All of which is true.
I feel like I am piggy in the middle. On one hand a child should be able to see there dad. But on the other hand, his dad is an ass. And I can fully see why my son does not like his dad.
MY heart says I should respect my sons wishes and just stop these failed attempts at bonding between them.
Logic is telling me that I should let him see him, I am always very respectful about talking about his dad to him and have never bad mouthed him in front of my son.
I just don't know what to do or say anymore.