Should I move to another county and let my 20yr old stay where she is?

Ali - posted on 12/08/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My husband and I want to move our to Florida from the UK. We lived there above five years ago, with our two daughters (then 14 and 16 years old) and we were all very happy. None of us wanted to come back (another story re visa renewal) and we found it really difficult to pcik up life in the UK again. Five years later, our eldest is 22 and living with her boyfirend of 3 years, both with steady jobs etc. We're happy for her and all is fine. Our younger daughter is just 20 years old, has a job that wouldn't support her and a boyfriend of 18 years old (nice guy but not ready for the living together stage). My husband and I have the opportunity to move back to Florida and would love for our youngest to move with us. The problem starts here as she has friends and family in Florida, loves the life, but doesn't want life to change here. We have had an argument building up over the last several months where this issue needs to be talked about. My friends are saying let her stretch her wings, my sister is saying if you know she's not ready to leave home/lose you, then why are you going to Florida. I've seen so many painful yet brave stories on this site about the daughter/son moving out already - the pain and reaction evident - so I wanted to get advice on my situation. I feel like I'm able to make a choice about whether I lose my daughter or not, but don't know what move to make right now. Any advice would very welcome so that I make a good choice for us all.

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Lacye - posted on 12/08/2012

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She's 20 years old. She's an adult. It's time to let her grow up and try to make it on her own. Just let her know that you are there for her always and if she decides at a later time to move to Florida with you, she is more than welcome. You just need to let her see what the world is really like. It will be a hard lesson learned but one that is worth it.

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~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/08/2012

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Well, you won't lose your daughter unless you force her to do something she doesn't want to do. If you and your husband want to move, you need to make that choice for yourselves. She may end up following you out there eventually. But expect her to do what she feels is right for her. My mother and step dad moved away a couple of months after I graduated high school. I had the choice to stay put or move across the country. I stayed put. I eventually moved out there. So you just never know what could happen.

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