Should I pull my 4 year old out of kindergarten school???

Essa - posted on 10/10/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )




Hi all,

Thank you for taking the time to read my post...

My daughter just turned 4 years old the week her Junior Kindergarten class started. We are in Ontario, Canada and my daughter's class is an everyday, full day program. So Monday to Friday, 9:20am to 3:30pm.

I have been a stay at home mom ever since she was born so she has not been to any daycare/home care or spent time with other adults except for grandparents and some of my friends. She also doesn't have much experience with socializing with other kids because she was home with me so much.

She has been going to her Junior Kindergarten class for a month now, and the teacher has approached me twice, saying that when the teacher talks to her about what to and what not to do, that things aren't "connecting" and "clicking in", and that the teacher has to constantly remind her what to do (transitions, getting ready to go outside, getting ready to go inside etc). Another example, teacher keeps on telling her not to touch the things on the teacher's desk, yet my daughter still does from time to time as if she doesn't remember (or don't care?) the teacher has told her not to.

Another problem my daughter is experiencing is being bullied. I have personally witnessed this particular boy just approach her out of nowhere and starts swinging his arms at her, twice. When my daughter told him "No! Don't hit me!", he swung at her again, and another parent nearby yelled at the boy. My daughter has also told me that this boy swung his backpack at her and used his fist to knock her in the nose. She said she told the teacher and the teacher said to the boy "xxx? Did you just make her feel sad?", and that was it, the boy didn't say anything.

My daughter, for the very first time, said to me before bedtime tonight, "can we please stay home tomorrow mama?", I asked "Why don't you want to go to school?", she replied "Because I don't like xxx hitting me". It broke my heart.

What do you think I should do?

Is my daughter not "connecting" and "clicking in" a result of being cooped up in the house all these years? Or even maybe disorders...

Is it possible that she has been so used to having just me as the only authoritative figure that she doesn't listen to other adults?

Should I wait until she's 5 to try sending her to school again?

What about being picked on?

Any mommies out there been through this and have advice?

I really appreciate any feedback!

Thank you!


Amy - posted on 10/10/2012




Is it full time or nothing? Can you enroll her in a part-time program? Most kids have difficulty with transitioning from one thing to the next, and most kids have to be reminded more than once not to do something. It's a long day for a 4 year old especially on one who has never been away from mom for so long. My son (6) started first grade this year and kindergarten was 1/2 day and it took him a month to adjust to the program and what was required.

If you can't do a part time program, maybe see if you can volunteer in class. Offer to go in and help with a center, read a story, offer assistance and maybe observe for an hour or two. Most teachers love to have parents come in and help. By volunteering not only will you be able to observe your daughter but you can see how her classmates behave, it's quite possible if another parent spoke to this boy that he could have behavioral problems which although wouldn't make it better but it might help you understand what he's doing.

My final suggestion is if your daughter is being bullied see if your school has someone who deals directly with this. I know at my sons school they have a school psychologists that parents can e-mail and she deals with any situations almost immediately since it's not tolerated.

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