Terriann - posted on 03/01/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )
Let me start off by giving some background on my situation. I am a single mother of 2 beautiful boys ages 13 & 4. I have been working full time and going to school on and off part time for years…like forever!!! I love children and my goal is teach someday. I have never really enjoyed any of the work I have been doing for the last 13 years and I guess that only adds to the depression of not being able to have more time with my children. Basically I feel like I come to work and miss out on my boys for this??
At this point my little one is getting ready to go to Pre-K in the fall and my older son is looking into high schools (FYI he is ADHD and requires massive amounts of help with schoolwork). I feel so overwhelmed and wish desperately to have more time for these boys. In my dream world I would be able to go to school while they are in school and be there to pick to them up and help with all their needs. At this point I can’t because I am working full time. I have come up with ideas and ways that I could possibly work less like as a waitress for example 2-3 nights a week (which I have done before and my mother would watch the kids or my ex-husband.) Or I could start a childcare in my home and work on my degree at night (I am enrolled in an online BA program). Things would be tight but we could make it…things are tight now because of childcare costs and I am dead and tired when I get home from work….so what’s the difference right??
Here’s the issue…I have not pounded the pavement to find a part time job or placed any child care available ads because I don’t know if I have the nerve to make this drastic lifestyle change. Can I go after my dream of finishing school and actually being a bigger part of my children’s growing up?
I look at my 13 year old and realize that I missed so much, and then I look at my 4 year old and know that he will only be this way once. I feel guilty thinking of quitting my stable full time job with all the people in this world who would love to have it. But I hate it. I don’t want to be there to the point that I am depressed and calling out sick because of it. I feel a little funny when I tell my friends and family how I feel and that I want to quit. I guess what I have been looking for is at least one good friend to say “hey you can do this” and “don’t feel bad about it”.