Danielle - posted on 08/27/2016 ( 7 moms have responded )
Ok here goes!!
I was pushed aside then completely neglected by my own mother when I was a 12 year old girl. This was due to usual teenage hormonal stuff (yep I was a complete brat to say the least. My own mother was abused by my father who she left when I was 7 so by time my 12th birthday came I think she was completely drained and just needed some peace.
I fell into the arms and bed of boy next door because I needed love affection. I was 12years old and he was 20 years old. My mother found out called the police and the police did nothing but call me a tart. I spent the next 20 years with this guy, I had my daughter by him when I was 15 and my son (which he forced on me) when I had just turned 17. This man abused me sexually, emotionally, physically & mentally. His abuse changed throughout the years as I got older wiser and more aware of of it. The effects of the abuse that this man has done to me has left me completely, utterly devastated and has destroyed me. I have depression, anxiety, ptsd & insomnia, I have relationship difficulties with people and my current partner. This man even up till i left him 5 years ago antagonises me threw my children, denigrates me to them blames me for the mess my children have found themselves in, he stole our family home chucked my kids out and rented out their bedrooms for profit. He even tried to claim maintenance off me when my son wasn't even living with him. Over a year ago I finally came to realisation with the help of my therapist that this man is a monster and reported his abuse to the police. He has been charged with 7 accounts of assault and sexual activity with a child under 13, I now await my court date in Febuary.
Since coming forward my whole family and even friends have ostracized me. My sister, brother will not stand by me or come forward even though they were and are aware of what he was doing to me (bar the sexual abuse due to the embarrassment) My own sister has called me all sorts of names to my only daughter and has enabled her to verbally abuse me too. I understand that my daughter is hurt and she finding it hard to accept that her father did this to me even though he admitted to her that he raped me. This man has absolutely no remorse is pleading not guilty and is trying his hardest to play my daughter of against me.
I love my daughter more then anything in this world she is my life, everything I have ever done has been for her and my son. Its been really hard being a mum for all this time and i am really trying my best with her. For many many years now my daughter treats me really badly she manipulates & controls me and if you don't agree with her or do what she wants she gets really nasty. I think my daughter has grown up watching her father do this and she has pick up all his bad traits i also think she has his genes. I am actually scared and intimidated by her and i am terrified to say a wrong word or challenge her because she becomes like a wild cat.
She has gone to the police and has given a statement in defence of her father. She texts and emails me things like I am lying, i will get whats coming to me, I have screw lose, even my family hate me and think i am causing trouble, how can i do this to her and my son, I am jealous of her dads new baby and wife and the fact everyone else is happy and I am not. She really hates on me and is really vicious and hurtful. She has turned all this abuse round on me like its all my fault. She feels like I should just move on and forget it. She even makes the rape sound like I am making a big deal out of nothing because sometimes her boyfriend initiates sex when she isn't in the mood. Her emails and texts are just angry rambling and is full of complete fiction and lies that horrifies me. I now know what I am now going to up against in court not just by him but by my own daughter. I am beside myself with hurt.
I am going threw absolute hell and believe me when i say this that reporting abuse is no easy task. I feel just as bad now as I did when I was with this man, Its really hard to deal with the fact that no one cares or is willing to even understand why i am doing this. It hurts that my daughter thinks i am just been a vicious cow thats wants revenge for what he did with the family home. It hurts that no one thinks my life is worthy and i should put up and shut up.
I have a 4 year old granddaughter by my daughter who i absolutely adore, I am her second mum and she loves me. Its becoming really hard to have a relationship with her due to my daughters abuse. If i report her i might as well say goodbye to ever seeing her again.
What shall i do please help me!!