Should I still worry if my child is 35?

Jerniece - posted on 01/12/2016 ( 6 moms have responded )

4

0

1

My son is 35 and addicted to Marijuana. When he is not smoking he is very angry and snappy and rushing around the house as if he has lost something. When he talks to you he whispers like someone is listening. He is very snappy and defensive. It hurts me to my heart that I don't know what to do to help him. He is a very sweet young man. He is skilled in everything he does but cannot manage to hold a job down. I am constantly praying for him. I cant seem to stop blaming myself for his actions. I had him at a very young age and He said he has been smoking since he was 13 years old. I hate myself for this. Maybe I was too involved in my own life at this time. Every time I see him I bring up him getting high. I wish I could stop but it hurts to see him hurting himself. what can I do?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Andrea - posted on 01/14/2016

44

0

0

Is there anyone that he looks up to or that mentors him? That could be helpful. But like everyone else you can't change them. It seems to be quite the conclusion of the year that people really don't change anymore. Before it seems that wives or kids could try but now it seems that all faith has been lost. Hang in there and try to see the bright side. I think I would still stay concerned as there may be health issues in the future etc., and that will be when things start to go downhill.

Raye - posted on 01/12/2016

3,761

0

21

You might have cause to worry if he can't control his anger/actions. But it's not your place to cover for him or try to "fix" it. He may get in trouble, and he will have to live with the consequences.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/12/2016

13,264

21

2015

Leave it be. Hes an adult, and there are quite a few places that have legalized the substance.

The time to be concerned about how you raised him was when you were doing it. Get off his back now. Nagging him constantly about a habit that you don't approve of (but that, honestly, in the long run, isn't as god-awful as everyone would have you think) has gotten you nowhere so far, and it will continue to be non-productive. If you can't get past it, then I'd suggest simply not EVER mentioning it again.

Raye - posted on 01/12/2016

3,761

0

21

He is an adult, and can make his own decisions. He has been an adult now nearly as long as he had been a child, and long enough to stop blaming you for his current behavior. You should stop blaming you for his behavior. You did what you could at the time while he was growing up. It's no longer your responsibility to help him. He needs to want to help himself, and it seems he doesn't.

One thing I will say, though... if you can't get past his smoking pot (really there are worse things), then you should just leave him be. Don't keep judging him every time you see him. (Does he live with you? If so, that should probably change.) Try to be more positive in your interactions with him, and maybe that will help his mood.

6 Comments

View replies by

Jerniece - posted on 01/12/2016

4

0

1

No, he doesn't live with me. Thank you very much. He has asked numerous times for me to stop bringing it up. From this day forward I will not mention it to him. I thank you for the replies.

Jerniece - posted on 01/12/2016

4

0

1

Thank you so very much! This has helped alot. But with him so agitated when he doesn't have it, should I worry?

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms