Should I take my 2 year old out of her current pre-school?

Wendy - posted on 01/25/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )




Hi I am not a mom but I am a 20 years old sister of a 2 year old toddler. I am usually always helping my mom with my sister since she has to be working most part of the day. I always take her to her pre-school and pick her up as well. We had to work through those first days of school together in which she would cry for me not to leave her in class. Luckily, she stopped crying and resisting to go to pre-school. Now, she doesn't have a problem to stay at school... I always kiss her goodbye and promise to be back on time and ask her to behave. In return she gives me a hug and a kiss. We had done great so far. Once I pick her up, we always call mom so she can talk to her and she always seems excited to tell her that she went to school. Once mom is home from work, I always give her whatever project she completed during class so she can go show it to our mom. She usually always runs to her with her arts and crafts and shows them to our mom proudly, my mom always praises her for doing such a great job. She knows that at the beginning it was a bit difficult to get her to accept the idea of going to pre-school, I almost gave up but I seek for advice from the lady in charge of the pre-school program. She inform me that her crying was a normal reaction for the first few days and that she had seen her play around with all the kids and having a good time after I would leave. She assure me that she wouldn't cry for too long and advice me to find ways for her to feel more comfortable with pre-school and to simply have patience and be strong. So, I did as she advice me to and it really did work. I was happy with the results so far.. until last week. I am an University student and I just began my semester last week. My school schedule is a bit complicated, I have a class right before taking her to pre-school and right after picking her up from pre-school. So I now have to drop her off a bit late and pick her up a bit early if I still want to her to attend to her class. (she only goes to school once per week from 9:30 to 12:30) I had spoken to the lady in charge of the program and one of the teachers (there are two teachers in her class) about it and they were completely fine with it. So, last week when I dropped her off, everything was completely fine like usual but when I picked her up I faced an awkward situation. One of the teachers saw me walking to my sister's classroom to pick her up around 12:10. We saw each other and I smiled to her and in response she said "You are too early!! You need to wait!" with an attitude I did not appreciate nor feel comfortable with. I explain her that I had to be in class shortly and that I had explain everything to the other teacher. She did not seem happy at all and she said something like "I guess or fine" I cannot remember clearly which words she used. I was really surprised about the way she had approached me. I then thought, that maybe I could wait a bit longer for my sister to be able to enjoy the max amount of time with the other kids and said " well if you want.. I can wait like 5 more minutes" ( I know that's almost nothing but I also had to be in class and well I was just trying to get her to spend at least a bit more time with them) and she responded with " No, there's no point" and just kept walking. I thought she was being very rude. The kids were in another room and she was heading that way and so was I to get my sister. She was walking in front of me and then suddenly she turned around and said " stay here, I'll bring her out here but wait here" and that really made me feel very uncomfortable. Why wouldn't I be able to go pick her up all the way to the room like I usually do? She seemed to be in a very bad mood for some reason. I stopped walking and was observing from a distance. The lady in charge of the pre-school program told me that I could walk up to the class that there was not a problem so, I did. She simply told the other teacher to get my sister's things ready and bring her outside. So, the other teacher brought her outside, my sister seemed very happy and the teacher gave me all her stuff. (The teacher that brought her out is usually always with her and I have notice that she pay my sister special attention and I really liked how she takes care of her) Then, I asked her if she had spoken to the other teacher about how I would pick up my sister a bit earlier since I had class. She assured me that she had talked to her and I explain her that I felt like she was very rude and that if there was a problem with me picking her up early I would just take her out of that pre-school and find another activity to enroll her in. She then told me " oh no is okay, don't pay attention to her. I will talk to her" but that still didn't make me feel any better. Now, I am debating whether or not to take her out. I really do not feel comfortable with that teacher around my sister. She seemed like she was having a bad day, but I dont see why would she reflect that on me if I had nothing to do with it. WIth her responses she seemed like the kind of person that cannot control her emotions and I honestly do not want a person that seems to not be able to not let their problems or emotions interfere with their job. Personally, I did not like the way she talked to me.. I did not feel respected at all.. I felt like if she felt like she was talking with a 5 year old because I do not think she would had talked like that to a real older mom. I feel like she cross the line just because she sees that I am young. Just because I am young does not mean that I will tolerate rudeness from other people. I feel like she could have approached me in a different manner rather than the way she did . If the reason for her attitude is that she was just having a bad day, I believe that is not a valid excuse. Yes, we all have those bad days but we should be able to leave them behind once we are at work, specially if your job involves interacting with other people, and even more if it it involves interacting with other children, I am just scare that she can act the same way when parents are not around towards the children. I believe that part of her job is to make me feel comfortable enough to leave my sister with them, even though I am not her mom, I do pay attention to all those little details and I will not tolerate people with that kind of attitude to take care of her. I been thinking about the whole situation over and over again. I want to be able to separate my personal feeling towards the situation with the feelings that my sister has towards her class. What I mean with this is that I do not want to just react base on only how I felt without taking in consideration what my sister might be gaining from the class. Or am I exaggerating?? Please leave your comments regarding the situation and tell me what you think. I truly want to do what benefits my sister the best and I want to feel assured that she is in a safe and happy environment..

I had never had a problem with them before but I am really considering to book an appointment with the lady in charge of the pre-school program, explain her why I am taking her out of the school and give my sister a chance to say goodbye to the other teacher that is always so wonderful with her and to her other classmates. I am not sure if this would be the best decision but this is why I am seeking for advice from all of you!

Thank you for taking the time to read my post and thank you for all of you that take the time to give me some honest feedback!


View replies by

Sarah - posted on 01/26/2015




I addition to the other posts: Perhaps the teacher wanted you to wait outside of the classroom so the other kids did not all think it was time to go? Once a group of toddler is distracted it can take time to regroup them. Also, she may have seemed rude but maybe she was just focused on getting back to her class? Unless there have been other instances, give her the benefit of the doubt.
Is there a way your mom can change her "school" day to another day when your schedule is lighter so you can pick her up without a rush or cutting into the class time?

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/26/2015




Unless you are, in fact, the child's parent, or legal guardian, this is not a decision for you to make.

Its up to your mother. Presumably, she wanted your sister in some sort of structured time with other kids to get her used to school, not a bad idea. If your class schedule originally allowed you to be one of the authorized people to drop off & pick up, that's great, but maybe now that it's changed, you and mom need to work something else out.

Perhaps that people that take your sister on the days that she doesn't go to preschool could pick her up on the day that she does? Either way, it's not your call to keep her there or remove her, since you aren't her parent.

Discuss your concerns with your mother, and go from there.

Ev - posted on 01/25/2015




That is my thinking too. And you know that people have bad days. Sometimes that does tend to leak through. It may have been something that was eating at her but she did not know it at the time. And another question: Would it not be up to your mother to enroll her in the preschool? Usually, in preschools it has to be the legal guardian or parent that enrolls the child and takes the child out not the sister, brother, grandparents or other family members unless they have legal guardianship rights. Does your mom not go and visit at all to see how your sis is doing? You might be a designated person to drop her off and pick her up but you might not be the one to decide if she stays or goes.

Jodi - posted on 01/25/2015




I just have one quick question - if your sister is only attending pre-school one day per week 9:30-12:30, where is she the rest of the week when your mother is working and you are in classes?

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