Should I tell my children their father is being evicted?

Sue - posted on 09/06/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My ex has a long history of not being able to keep a job. Now without me to support him and the loss of his latest job he is facing eviction from his apartment. He believes that he will get a job he has been on one interview for and is waiting for a call back from. (This is unlikely.) He has only a few more days before his complex has told him he needs to get out. He has no back up plan and has not told the children who spend three nights a week with him that this is a possibility. I have offered to store their things for him and wanted to take most of their stuff with me when I picked them up, but he wouldn't let me. Is it my place to tell the children their father will most likely be homeless soon? They are 9 and 14.

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Dove - posted on 09/06/2015

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Him having no home will impact his ability to have overnight visitations... so he really needs to tell them asap. I do not know if/when 'I' would intervene and tell them until he actually IS homeless... because then they would only be doing daytime visitations w/ him unless he had a stable home of a friend or a hotel to be sleeping at.

Sue - posted on 09/06/2015

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He won't even acknowledge this is happening to him. His usual way to handle it when things go bad is to bury his head in the sand and wait for it to go away. When we were together I handled it all on my own - he refused to talk about finances when he wasn't working. This was a major reason for our break up. We do get along and I'm assuming I'll just keep the kids full time when he doesn't have a place to take them, but he wouldn't talk to me about it. I'm really afraid the sheriff is going to show up at his door to evict him while the children are there.

MaryAnn - posted on 09/06/2015

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That is his problem, and its probably best to let him handle it. Homelessness is a very big, scary topic. He should probably tell them when he knows what he is doing, and unfortunately all you can really do when they find out is help them deal with their feelings when theyre home.
Have you talked with him about how hes going to handle parenting? If your relationship is good, it may bring about peace for you to know how you will handle the patenting on your end... But if not, it may be best to just let the chips fall where they may.

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