Should I try to make it work or jump ship?

Ashley - posted on 05/15/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )




I have been thinking of leaving my boyfriend for over a year now but I'm not sure if it is the right thing or not. We have a daughter who is 8 months now and he has his days of being super dad but a lot of the time he doesn't help me at all. I have been in and out of a relationship with him since my freshman year of high school and all through out that time if we were on a break he would hook up with other girls. When I found out I was pregnant we were on a break but were still messing around. I have trust issues now because of everything even though he has never really cheated on me when we are together. We have been fighting lately about many different things and even though we are young still, I think it is important to be married so when our daughter grows up she can see that her parents love each other and have a good marriage...He has told me that he's not ready to make that type of commitment. Is it just me or shouldn't he know if he wants to marry me by now? I mean we have a daughter and were going on about six years so I feel like he should know what he wants. We are going to be 21 soon and again I know that is young, but at the same time I don't want to waste time fighting to stay with a guy who has no real intentions to marry and have a life with me, not to mention he has been staying late after work to hang out with some homeless women at Safeway and he doesn't see anything wrong with it "because he's not doing anything with her". He likes to play high school games and doesn't really want to grow up and I hate giving ultimatums but I don't want to waste any more of my time in a relationship that keeps going in circles instead of moving forward. Is there any advice I can get? There is a lot more to it and I feel stupid for trying to make it work with someone who doesn't seem to care about what I think or how I feel. Should I still fight for this relationship or just jump ship while I still have my sanity?


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~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/16/2013




Well, if your child is seeing you fighting all the time and not loving towards one another, that is not setting a good example of what a healthy relationship should be. So really, being single and happy is often more important raising a happy kid than being miserable and married.

Danielle Elizabeth - posted on 05/15/2013




Well one side of the coin is that you only live once and deserve to be happy . I have an extremely loving husband who makes me feel so damn happy I could cry. I believe with my whole heart that everyone deserves this. I'm not saying we have not had rough patches in our six years together, but never did I question his love for me through any of it. Some might say to try and work it out , but you can only work with What your given and he doesn't seem like he loves you the way I know love should be. I am not in your relationship and there is a small child to consider so I know it is tough to just leave, but in my honest opinion I would rather show my kids what real love looks like so they have a better chance at finding it themselves one day. My daughter will see how a man who really loves his woman treats her and she will not be fooled by some chump, bc she will grow up seeing it with her own eyes.

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