Should income affect decision 2 have a 2nd baby?

Tonya - posted on 11/05/2009 ( 59 moms have responded )

52

17

1

I am just wondering if anyone else wonders if having a 2nd child before you are financial stable is irresponsible? My husband and I have a 1 year old and we would like our children to be 2 1/2 to 3 years apart which would mean trying to get prego in about 6 month or so, but we would really like to purchase a house by then. Because we currently live in a 2 bedroom trailor. Would it be wrong on our part to still try to have a 2nd little one before we are able to purchase a house? All opinions are welcome! Thanks!!

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Sharon - posted on 11/09/2009

11,585

12

1315

How will you put your kids through college? How will you make sure they will always have a roof over their heads? How will you cover medical expenses.



Hell yes I think financial stability should play a role in having kids.

Betsy - posted on 11/06/2009

469

22

22

Quoting Crystal:



Quoting Betsy:




Quoting Crystal:

Is anyone really ever financially stable to have another child? I don't think so. In my opinion i feel that parents make it work to give their kids things they need and want whether you are strapped or not.








Yes, there are many people who are financially stable. It requires thinking out planning and responsible choices.  There are some who can live comfortably after making responsible decisions, then when facing a crisis such as illness or job loss, or just difficult economic climates such as now, they can comfortably ride them out.  I have also seen many others make decisons based on wants, with no planning, whether wanting more kids with no regard to financial security, or even wanting extras now not planning for the future, and those are the ones who struggle throughout their lives. Then when an unexpected crisis comes their way or a recession, they are forced to decide between rent, food or heat and are having a battle surviving. As adults and especially as parents, all these decisions we make factor into the security we can give our children. It doesn't always work out for those who don't plan ahead. With no savings, home equity or job security, home, food, heat and electricity money doesn't fall from the sky when you are hit with growing kids with growing expenses and unexpected emergency situations. Money stress is the #1 cause of divorce by far, so if lack of ability to pay the bills breaks a marriage, then added is a divorce, with the couple needing to support two homes when they could barely afford one set of living expenses, which too often results in the growing number of children being raised in poverty, not having their basic needs met. As adults, our decisions create the lives we, and our children, live.






 






Money stress is the #1 cause of divorce if all you care about is money..I'm happy and I don't have money. I feel that the things I have in life like family, happiness and someone to grow old with makes me rich..because money can't buy those.









 






Sorry but that is absurd and very naive. You don't have to be "money hungry" to have money stress affect a marriage. You may be young and still have a very idealistic view, but reality is that when people aren't financially responsible and daily life revolves around not having the funds for living expenses, with pressures of not being able to provide necessities for your family, it is very stressful and the #1 argument between spouses. Would you really be happy if you or your spouse got had a medical emergency or lost a job, with no savings and lost your home for your kids, explaining to them you are now homeless due to the decisions you made? Or how about having unexpected expenses until you got to the point where you had to choose between heat and hot water for your kids on a cold winter night or dinner the following evening? How about having to pay the electric bill and not being able to afford winter coats for the kids? These are the daily things that occur when couples do not make wise adult responsible financial decisions, and after about 10 yrs of that, the naivete goes away and is replaced with exhaustion, stress and resentment. Ask any divorce attorney. It's difficult to have happiness when your child needs medical care, and you haven't planned your life for unexpected life circumstances like that to provide that care, so responsible parents plan for those unexpected circumstances well before they happen.  It's part of the job. I have been with my husband since 1985 and married since 1990, and there is a huge foundation of love we share and have for many years, but mortgage companies, electric companies and groceries stores don't take that love as payment, so it was our job to be responsible and due to the great love for each other and our children, make sure we were responsible in creating a situation where we could provide all the things each in our family needs, even when hit with unexpected circumstances. You do that BECAUSE you love your family.

Hannah - posted on 08/27/2012

3

0

0

My husband and I thought the same exact way! We were young when we got married, got pregnant shortly after. It was very scary for us. So we decided to wait and figure our lives out a bit before we had another one. Well, here we are now 5 years later---no second child. And we both regret not having another one earlier!! Sure, we can now pay for our child to go to college, help with anything she needs...but she's always going to be alone. She gets bored and tired of playing with mommy and daddy and just wants a friend. And all of her friends have brothers and sisters, and don't always want to play with her. Its a catchy situation---but I say just have another child because if you don't you will regret it!! Dont let your child grow up alone, without you two--the child will have nobody.

Betsy - posted on 11/06/2009

469

22

22

Quoting Crystal:

Is anyone really ever financially stable to have another child? I don't think so. In my opinion i feel that parents make it work to give their kids things they need and want whether you are strapped or not.



Yes, there are many people who are financially stable. It requires thinking out planning and responsible choices.  There are some who can live comfortably after making responsible decisions, then when facing a crisis such as illness or job loss, or just difficult economic climates such as now, they can comfortably ride them out.  I have also seen many others make decisons based on wants, with no planning, whether wanting more kids with no regard to financial security, or even wanting extras now not planning for the future, and those are the ones who struggle throughout their lives. Then when an unexpected crisis comes their way or a recession, they are forced to decide between rent, food or heat and are having a battle surviving. As adults and especially as parents, all these decisions we make factor into the security we can give our children. It doesn't always work out for those who don't plan ahead. With no savings, home equity or job security, home, food, heat and electricity money doesn't fall from the sky when you are hit with growing kids with growing expenses and unexpected emergency situations. Money stress is the #1 cause of divorce by far, so if lack of ability to pay the bills breaks a marriage, then added is a divorce, with the couple needing to support two homes when they could barely afford one set of living expenses, which too often results in the growing number of children being raised in poverty, not having their basic needs met. As adults, our decisions create the lives we, and our children, live.

Maria - posted on 11/05/2009

1

10

0

I do not imagine it being harder than the people who have eighteen kids. I have a ten year old and a fourteen month old and it feels the same. Just count your blessings and God will take care of the rest. It might be a little hard but what isn't.

59 Comments

View replies by

Illiana - posted on 08/26/2012

5

9

1

Honestly i would wait , I currently have a 14 yr old daughter and a 115 month old son. I knew it would change my finances having 2 children but , jeez i am seriously struggling at the moment . i literally live paycheck to paychek and i have to literally break down each paycheck in a budget.I have to stick to this budget every week , leaving on rare occassion $20.00 of spending cash . I would love to have a third child but i keep telling myself financially it will kill us and stress my family . So i decided to hold off about 2 yrs to see how we are doing .I would personally focus on getting your ducks in a row then once everything is settled then discuss having a second child.

Tina - posted on 05/21/2011

1,314

28

301

Having 2 kids close is good they can do stuff together aposed to waiting it makes it harder it interact and play together and the financial burdens aren't forever

Christine - posted on 11/10/2009

6

47

0

call me irresponsible but we wernt financial stable when we had our first but we got by. we wanted to be 'on out feet' before having our second and waited 6 years. we realised we weren't going to get any better off and than we would cope and we now have a lovely 3 month old, only live in a small 2 bedroom council house. its hard but it always would of been but there both fed and clothed and happy.

Tabitha - posted on 11/09/2009

1

0

0

As some have already said, you will never be in the "perfect" situation to have another baby. You are not being foolish by having, I don't know, 8 babies at once...you just want to add one to your family. We have three kiddos in a two-bedroom condo. Yes, it's tight, and yes, we budget to the penny, but they are worth it. I would REALLY recommend Crown Financial Ministries. I was in accounting, and it still helped us. A little bit can really go a long way. And, you can never put a price on a child. Good luck!

Amy - posted on 11/08/2009

3

0

0

If you know deep down in your heart you want a second child no matter what then you should have one especially if you are a stay home mother. I would love to have a second one because my child is 5 yrs old but I have to work outside of the home and childcare is too expensive until it doesn't pay to have another. We know that our bills have to get paid and once we pay them there is not much left for buffer.

If you work outside the home and you have two in daycare then I say good luck if you can pay your bills and all the extra expense that comes with having children.

Kristen - posted on 11/08/2009

5

2

1

i have a 6 year old and a 3 year old. My husband was in the military and we were stationed in Germany. he was getting medical discharged and we didnt know how long it was going to take and i wanted another baby and he asked me to wait until we got back to the states and get settled into the real world. a few weeks later i found out that i was pregnant. i had my daughter in October and we left Germany in December. it was really hard because we didnt have a house yet and he had to find a job. it was hard but all i can say is if you want another one you have to make some adjustments. if you know you can be ok having another one i said do it. things always work themselves out in the end. good luck

Cathy - posted on 11/08/2009

1

20

0

Having had 2 kids, 3 years apart, owning a home, and renting, I have been the whole spectrum. It wasn't easy ever! But the joy of my kids kept me on track alot of times. If U can feed, clothe, and shelter them, go for it hon. U will never have enuf money for everything unforseen!

Emma - posted on 11/08/2009

10

14

0

Hmm tough one. I guess there are degrees of financial stability. From not being able to put food on the table and pay the rent to having to save a bit more before you can buy your own home.

Its just a matter of deciding what you really want and what you're prepared to sacrifice to have that.

Jaclyn - posted on 11/08/2009

84

9

3

If you wait until you are more financially stable you may never get there. We were TTC when I lost my job a year ago, so we stopped trying. Once our son turned 3 I really wanted to start trying again, since I wanted our children to be 3 - 4 years apart. Even though I was not back at work we decided that other then diapers and possibly formula (if I'm not able to nurse again) those are the only expenses that we will have. If we waited much longer then it would cost more, since our carseats would expire. We got grief about our decision, but we are happy with it. Then a few weeks ago my husband lost his job, we are hopeful that he will find something soon. It will be hard to make ends meet until my husband gets another job, but it will be that way wheather I'm pregnant or not. We are doing our best to cut costs and keep the important things. I beleive as long as you kept your baby things from your first baby then additional children will not add too much expenses. Plus buying second hand is great for any additions you may need. Good luck!

Cynthia - posted on 11/08/2009

2

0

0

if you people wait until they can aford kids their would'nt be any kids go with your haert

[deleted account]

Quoting Tonya:

Should income affect decision 2 have a 2nd baby?

I am just wondering if anyone else wonders if having a 2nd child before you are financial stable is irresponsible? My husband and I have a 1 year old and we would like our children to be 2 1/2 to 3 years apart which would mean trying to get prego in about 6 month or so, but we would really like to purchase a house by then. Because we currently live in a 2 bedroom trailor. Would it be wrong on our part to still try to have a 2nd little one before we are able to purchase a house? All opinions are welcome! Thanks!!


 

Julia - posted on 11/08/2009

14

7

0

Quoting Tonya:

Should income affect decision 2 have a 2nd baby?

I am just wondering if anyone else wonders if having a 2nd child before you are financial stable is irresponsible? My husband and I have a 1 year old and we would like our children to be 2 1/2 to 3 years apart which would mean trying to get prego in about 6 month or so, but we would really like to purchase a house by then. Because we currently live in a 2 bedroom trailor. Would it be wrong on our part to still try to have a 2nd little one before we are able to purchase a house? All opinions are welcome! Thanks!!


It would be better to be able to buy a house first.  Pray about this before you make a decision. God is



in control.  You need to have money saved for a down payment. You woundn't want to get pregnant and then your husband get laid off.  Hope you have good insurance.   Good luck. 

[deleted account]

I don't think finances should be the only factor in deciding whether to have another child, but I do think they should be a big one. I've seen some perfecly happy families who live in either a trailer or an apartment complex their whole lives-and there's nothing wrong with that. But I think that if owning a home is a goal you want to accomplish soon, maybe you should at least consider delaying another child until after you buy the house. There'a a difference between being financially unstable and not owning a home.

Stephanie - posted on 11/07/2009

62

15

6

Good (late) morning, This is my opinion, I have 5 kids myself. I can tell you if I had waited to be financially stable I'd have NONE. I love all my children more than shopping, more than having a brand knew car and more than having pets or eating out to dinner regularly. So if someone is more material-istic I'd say wait to have another child. If ya'll have enuff money to pay your imidiate bills and have food in the fridge and allot of love to give and some patients ," Then Go For It," just make sure you BOTH feel the same way.Commnication is key.Good luck, and God bless.Do whats best for the 3 of you. I can tell you that we are buying our 1st home (in the process) and my oldest is 17, youngest is 14 months.Home is where the heart is'.

[deleted account]

Have another child, you want one. Bringing a child into the world with love is never wrong. The world will always have difficult situations, if that had stopped people from having children none of us would be here now. Don't worry about money or time. As my father used to say, "One child takes all of it, so two can't take anymore."

[deleted account]

WELL I SAY TAKE THE LEAP OF FAITH...WHO ARE WE TO TELL ANYONE THAT THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE ANOTHER CHILD BECAUSE OF MONEY STRESS? IF ITS WHAT THEY BOTH WANT AND THEY HAVE A GREAT FEELING THAT EVERYTHING IS GOING TO WORK OUT IN THE END THEN I SAY GO FOR IT...

Charlie - posted on 11/06/2009

11,203

111

409

Quoting Crystal:

Is anyone really ever financially stable to have another child? I don't think so.


Yes believe it or not some people actually think through their decision to have a child before conceiving.

[deleted account]

Quoting Betsy:



Quoting Crystal:

Is anyone really ever financially stable to have another child? I don't think so. In my opinion i feel that parents make it work to give their kids things they need and want whether you are strapped or not.






Yes, there are many people who are financially stable. It requires thinking out planning and responsible choices.  There are some who can live comfortably after making responsible decisions, then when facing a crisis such as illness or job loss, or just difficult economic climates such as now, they can comfortably ride them out.  I have also seen many others make decisons based on wants, with no planning, whether wanting more kids with no regard to financial security, or even wanting extras now not planning for the future, and those are the ones who struggle throughout their lives. Then when an unexpected crisis comes their way or a recession, they are forced to decide between rent, food or heat and are having a battle surviving. As adults and especially as parents, all these decisions we make factor into the security we can give our children. It doesn't always work out for those who don't plan ahead. With no savings, home equity or job security, home, food, heat and electricity money doesn't fall from the sky when you are hit with growing kids with growing expenses and unexpected emergency situations. Money stress is the #1 cause of divorce by far, so if lack of ability to pay the bills breaks a marriage, then added is a divorce, with the couple needing to support two homes when they could barely afford one set of living expenses, which too often results in the growing number of children being raised in poverty, not having their basic needs met. As adults, our decisions create the lives we, and our children, live.



 



Money stress is the #1 cause of divorce if all you care about is money..I'm happy and I don't have money. I feel that the things I have in life like family, happiness and someone to grow old with makes me rich..because money can't buy those.





 

[deleted account]

Quoting Betsy:



Quoting Crystal:

Is anyone really ever financially stable to have another child? I don't think so. In my opinion i feel that parents make it work to give their kids things they need and want whether you are strapped or not.






Yes, there are many people who are financially stable. It requires thinking out planning and responsible choices.  There are some who can live comfortably after making responsible decisions, then when facing a crisis such as illness or job loss, or just difficult economic climates such as now, they can comfortably ride them out.  I have also seen many others make decisons based on wants, with no planning, whether wanting more kids with no regard to financial security, or even wanting extras now not planning for the future, and those are the ones who struggle throughout their lives. Then when an unexpected crisis comes their way or a recession, they are forced to decide between rent, food or heat and are having a battle surviving. As adults and especially as parents, all these decisions we make factor into the security we can give our children. It doesn't always work out for those who don't plan ahead. With no savings, home equity or job security, home, food, heat and electricity money doesn't fall from the sky when you are hit with growing kids with growing expenses and unexpected emergency situations. Money stress is the #1 cause of divorce by far, so if lack of ability to pay the bills breaks a marriage, then added is a divorce, with the couple needing to support two homes when they could barely afford one set of living expenses, which too often results in the growing number of children being raised in poverty, not having their basic needs met. As adults, our decisions create the lives we, and our children, live.



 



Money stress is the #1 cause of divorce if all you care about is money..I'm happy and I don't have money. I feel that the things I have in life like family, happiness and someone to grow old with makes me rich..because money can't buy those.





 

Lorra - posted on 11/06/2009

37

5

2

You do NOT have to be a millionaire to be financially stable, lol. In my opinion, being financially stable would be you can make all of your monthly payments (bills, debt, groceries, gas etc.) put a little in savings and still have a little extra. My family of 3 can do that on much, much, much less than a million dollar salary.

At the least it would be that you are financially independent (nothing under your parents, no government assistance...not that there is anything wrong with GA if you need it, but if you are struggling so much that you need the governments help to make ends meet then, in my opinion, it's irresponsible to plan another child.)

Good luck with whatever decision you make! :)

[deleted account]

My husband and I are in the same situation. Our son just recently turned 1 and we want our kids about 1 year apart from each other but we live in a 2 bedroom apartment and would love to have a house before we had a second child. Right now we have just enough space for the 3 of us and we are doing ok. My husband's job is about to get alot harder in the next 8 weeks-they brought in a guy they are calling the hatchet man and he is getting rid of anyone who he feels isn't perfect for the company, and I mean come on who is perfect? So we are dealing with the stress of not knowing what is going to happen to my husband's job and wanting a house but not being able to afford one right now. My husband and I are both young-21 and 22 but we are going to wait to have a second child. If you wait to your finacially stable then you will never have one but just make sure you have the means to get what you need for the children. Thats what my husband and I are going to do. Good luck and this really helped me out too.

Annabelle - posted on 11/06/2009

15

0

1

Obviously an accidental pregnancy is out of your control. But to purposly get pregnant when you cannot support the baby (meaning there isn't really room in your current home) would only stress you out which would make for a hard pregnancy. When you have bought your home and you can happily enjoy your pregnancy and look forward to the baby's arrival would be ideal. Take it from someone who knows ( 3 suprise baby's) having a plan and sticking to it is way more satifying then having to struggle or possibly regretting your decision. I think you'd enjoy the addition more!!

Hannah - posted on 11/06/2009

475

2

29

It would be harder to get a house once you have another baby. I dont know, for me I would love to have another baby soon but it would just be the wrong timing. Imagine moving while your pregnant or with a new baby. Just wait until your nest is fully established to fill it.

Amanda - posted on 11/06/2009

4

20

1

As long as you can care for the baby I say go for it! In theses days and times unless your a millionaire being finanically stable will have maybe never..

[deleted account]

Is anyone really ever financially stable to have another child? I don't think so. In my opinion i feel that parents make it work to give their kids things they need and want whether you are strapped or not.

Betsy - posted on 11/06/2009

469

22

22

Being independently financially responsible is a huge part of parenting responsibility, but only you and your husband can really sit down with your circumstances and the numbers and see where you are. It would be difficult for anyone to make that determination for you.



As a mom of 5, who started out young with our first and waited until we reached financial security to have the latter children, I would personally wait. We have an age gap, but our children are very close to each other and we were able to become financially comfortable. It definitely made having children more enjoyable to have that freedom, to have a home and not to have the worry about making the bills. Divorce rates are through the roof, and having multiples babies does naturally add pressure to a family. Adding concerns about affording the bills, being able to clothe, feed, educate, etc more children also adds pressure to a marriage. Then if homeownership is a goal of yours, and that is not attainable by having another child, that may also add stress to the marriage, especially a young marriage.



Sit with your husband and figure out these things. Only the two of you have the answers. Will you be still able to reach the goal of homeownership, if that is a goal of yours, as the children get older and become more expensive, and if not, would you be content raising two growing children in your current living situation? If an emergency came up, could you comfortably support 2 children? These are the questions only you and hubby have the answers to but about which need to be realistic.

Hanna - posted on 11/05/2009

585

9

56

well, if you can barely afford to buy a house, you shouldn't buy the house. i know you want it, but if you can't afford it on one salary (God forbid you have to stay home for whatever reason), you shouldn't buy it because nothing worse than putting all this money into the house that you can't really afford and then it goes into foreclosure & you lose whatever money you put into it.

as far as another baby, well, it's really up to you. my guess is, you need to figure out which one you want more, the baby or the house. your family will be just as happy in a rental as in a house & far less risky in terms of credit and everything else (and my guess is you can't afford the house on one salary if you're asking whether or not to have another baby before you purchase it). but besides the house, you also have to consider the age difference down the line. yes it's true that kids that are closer together have greater chance of being friends down the road, but it also potentially means double the expenses for high school & college. if you have a difference of 4-5 years, it's more manageable down the road. however, it may mean more expenses up front (new crib, new car seat, new stroller as it's not recommended to use any of those if they're older than 5 years). so you really have to think about this one. personally, i would wait until you're more stable & until your baby is a bit older (less hassle one baby at a time) because if they're close together, you potentially have 2 kids in diapers & do you really want to be running after a 3 year old when you're 6-8 months pregnant and tired? good luck with whatever you decide! i hope it all works out for your family :)

Charlie - posted on 11/05/2009

11,203

111

409

I think it is irresponsible and selfish to bring another child into the world before your financially stable having said that i dont think not being able to afford a house is financially unstable plenty of people live rich , wonderful lives with enough money to live comfortably and provide for their families while renting .

If having a child means struggling then yes wait BUT if it wont be a struggle and you can provide then by all means go for it !

Ruby - posted on 11/05/2009

32

55

1

You just need to make sure that you will be able to provide both of your children with what they need (and a little of what they want, a birthday without a present is no fun!). It would be selfish to bring another child into this world if you know that you are unable to give it the life you want to right now. Just wait until you are a little more stable, and it will be so much less stressful and you can enjoy pregnancy and parenting.
We just bought a house and decided we could finally afford one more child (our son is 6), and we are now pregnant with twins, surprise! So you have to be prepared for the unexpected as well. Just don't make your decision based on a timeline you have in your head, you have to go with the flow of life and be responsible! Good luck!

Patricia - posted on 11/05/2009

3

10

0

I think you should wait. You dont wanna have to struggle b/c you have another child, and you shouldnt take away from your 1st if ur not financially stable, and trying to take care of two! I think if you wait, in the long wrong your faimly will be much happier.

Sarah - posted on 11/05/2009

185

8

5

I'm a single parent. And I know both single mothers and married couples who just have children without thinking about how much another mouth would cost.(one of the single parents I know, had a baby just to go back on state money, her kids were 10+) I can't even image having another baby without being married and have the money also. Unless, your on state insurance, you have to pay a few thousand to the hospital. Not to mention all the baby's needs as she/he grows up. I agree with "there's never enough money", but if you can be responsible about how the money is spent and you have some savings to start, would be a big help. Right now people can't feed their families with the economy the way it is. But in the end it's your husband and your decision. Whatever your husband and you decide will be whats right for your family.

Good luck to you and your family!!

Crystal - posted on 11/05/2009

5

8

0

That is always a delicate question. I am going to have to say, in the society that we live in you should wait until you are financially able to care for your children without any government assistance. I am a mother of four and the only aid we have ever gotten was WIC and that is a lot to proud of. I used the resources for only when I needed them and qualified for them but we have always been employed and always had to pinch pennies. We are still far from well off, but our kids don't want for anything they are always comfortable, well fed and well dressed. It does become very costly and I have three boys and they are already starting to eat me out of a house and home and the oldest is only 10!



If you haven't finished school, please do. Take advantage of the grants and financial aid to finish. If you want a larger family, a career at MCDonald's won't get you there! Aim for the moon and you will reach the stars! :)

Diane - posted on 11/05/2009

5

5

0

I would not even consider having a 2nd child if I knew that I wasn't ready financially for whatever conditions may occur. Are you prepared for medical bills in case of an emergency? Will you have money to save for another child's college education? If your finances are in order (no credit cards, car notes, etc.) and you have enough money saved to make a good down-payment on a house, then I see no reason why you shouldn't go ahead and purchase a home. Just my opinion ...

User - posted on 11/05/2009

2

5

0

Well I dont think its ever "wrong" to expand the family but It is very difficult to do so w/o sufficient funds.When I got pregnant with our 2nd child my son Johnny was a little over 3 and we were both working. My son was in daycare and we certainly weren't rich but were comfortable. My 2nd baby Jacob was more planned on my part than my husbands,and now Im a stay at home mom. We also have a 2bdr small house and I didnt think we had enough room for another child but we managed. Being financially stable is ideal but as parents we'll never have enough money right? lol--Seriously I dont really think it is that much more expensive to have a 2nd baby,you learn to budget better and tend to buy more of what you need, than what you want.For us the question was can we afford to survive on one income because daycare for 2 would be anywhere from $250-300 weekly. We dont really have any "extra" money and I miss working but if I waited until financial stable to have Jacob,honestly he wouldn't be here. Just make sure you have only 1 in diapers!

RaShonda - posted on 11/05/2009

1

20

0

Well, personally, I am considering my financial status before bringing another baby into this world. My first one was unexpected and I see how expensive children are. He is definitely a blessing, but I want to be in a better position for more. I hate to send him to daycare now. I feel like they spend more time with him then I do, and I don't like it! I would handle what you have now, and get your home. I always figured if it was meant to be, then it will be, so if it happens while you're trying to buy- then hey! Go with it, but if not, then that's okay too. Gives you more time to prepare for additional family member! Best of luck!

Hailey - posted on 11/05/2009

142

5

15

iv never worried about that sort of stuff , sure it would be great to bye a house and have everything we need b4 kids come but hey life is unpredictable even if you purchased a house how do you knowthat your still gunna be financially stable by the time bub comes , id say have the baby

Francesca - posted on 11/05/2009

3

45

1

I would have to say that you should be financially stable for the second baby. It cost alot of money but if you can't put ur self up to doing the bad then there is always financial aid to help you. It just takes a bit to get it. You never really are ready for having a baby period everyone has them with out being ready practiacally. good luck. Its a really tuff decision.

Virginie - posted on 11/05/2009

27

2

1

yep! between diapers, wipes, clothes, toys, daycare, baby food, etc...you definitely must have solid financials when considering having additional children...

Atina - posted on 11/05/2009

8

14

0

I think that you and your husband should decide what is more mportant to you both at this time in your life. If it is child than go for it, but if the house is really what you want first than having your children farther apart is not that much of a sacrifice.

[deleted account]

It depends - if you dont feel you can provide the basics that a baby would need then I do feel it would be kinda irresposible, but if you can at least keep warm, clean, fed and loved then I would say go ahead and do it. It may be a struggle but if your willing and able then there should be nothing to stop you...so only you (as family) can make that choice

[deleted account]

I think that depends on your definition of "financially stable". If your budget is so tight that you would have trouble supporting a second child, then that should be a huge factor. If you're financially able to support another baby, but you want to move, then you need to decide how important it is to buy a house versus the spacing of your children.

Christi - posted on 11/05/2009

1,038

34

75

i think it is irresponsible. but then again when is it truely a right time to have another child. i do think that you should be in a good financial standing before bringing another child into the world. my husband and i have financial goals set for ourselves that we have agreed HAVE to be met before we have another child. we don't like it but we want to be able to provide for another kid, since we are already struggling to take care of the one we have.

Alisha - posted on 11/05/2009

8

0

1

oh my gosh i was just talking about this today! ha. this is my opinion. its pretty sad our world is so economical that it affects when we can have the family we WANT. but a good point my friend made today was that youre never really financially ready...you just have to do the best you can with what money you have. we want our kids about one and a half years apart and are not in the best financial situation either. while it would be better to wait until youre more financially secure, it is definitely not irresponsible to have another child as long as you know you can feed them, put clothes on their back..meet their needs..give them lots of love :) and like others have said, youre never really financially stable until youre retired! lol

Jeanette - posted on 11/05/2009

27

22

1

Personally, my husband and I found out we were unexpectedly expecting baby #2 just 3 days before we made an offer on our first home. We went through all the closing stuff in my early pregnancy, and one bonus to that was that I got out of heavy lifting in the move! LOL. It is stressful, but not anymore stressful than anything else in life that maybe doesn't go according to plan. For us it actually eased my stress to know that we were going to be owning our own home, that I could decorate any way I wanted, rather than continuing to throw money away on a rental.

Ashley - posted on 11/05/2009

368

59

26

I think that if you are trying to purchase a house while pregnant it will put that much more stress on you. That's something you DON'T need while pregnant. I think you should have everything, including your finances, in order before you start trying for number 2.

Jeanette - posted on 11/05/2009

27

22

1

I think that depends on how financially responsible you are, not just where you are financially. Like, are you able to set a budget and then stick close to it? Do you have some savings you are working on or do you spend your entire paycheck almost before you get it? If you are barely making ends meet now with just 1 child it might be wise to wait. However, if everyone waited until they had money to have kids then 75% of people in today's world wouldn't be having kids!!

Michelle - posted on 11/05/2009

61

23

6

i think if you sit down and add up what you spend every month on everything including food and gas for the car .. bills everything, and you still have enough for diapers and formula then go for it .. I keep a file on my computer of all of our bills, food, diapers, and debt and when they are due and subtract it from the bi-weekly paycheck.. that way i know how much extra we should have every month .. that pretty much made us decide to have another baby .. plus i saved everything from the first little one so we have almost everything for a new baby .. and buy diapers every time you go to the store so when she/he is born you'll be set

Anna - posted on 11/05/2009

552

12

52

Oh yeah, and breastfeeding is free, plus if you use washable diapers, it doesn't really cost you anything.

Anna - posted on 11/05/2009

552

12

52

I don't think it's irresponsible. Little kids just need love and the basic necessities. As long as you can afford to feed them, I don't think it matters if you live in your own house or not. Also, it doesn't have to be expensive to have children - you can get perfectly good second hand stuff like strollers and cribs and babies generally like playing with cardboard boxes etc more than expensive toys.

Michelle - posted on 11/05/2009

61

23

6

i think if you sit down and add up what you spend every month on everything including food and gas for the car .. bills everything, and you still have enough for diapers and formula then go for it .. I keep a file on my computer of all of our bills, food, diapers, and debt and when they are due and subtract it from the bi-weekly paycheck.. that way i know how much extra we should have every month

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms